I caved. Fell Horrible about it.

[CShaver]

Well. It happened. It finally happened. I bummed a smoke off of someone today.

I have been having a horrible few weeks, from work to home and everywhere in between. Today at work was the breaking point. About an hour ago I got a call (I do tech support for Pharmaceutical Companies), the call was horrible and I don't get bad calls very often. I'm good at what I do, and our clients know to treat us with respect. Guess this lady didn't get the memo

Anyway, I had to bum a smoke off someone because my juice was not working to calm me down.

Now I have a disgusting taste in my mouth (still) and an even nastier smell on my hand. At least it worked to calm me down though.

Now I just feel bad. Makes me feel like this one cigarette ruined what I've been trying to do for 2 months.

Guess I'll start at step one again, and hopefully never cave to a cigarette again.



-EDIT-
I can't believe I spelled FEEL wrong in the Title. Please ignore that lol.

 

[Ohms Lawbreaker]

Eh, one smoke ain't gonna kill ya, it's the other 50 million you didn't smoke you gotta cheer up about.

 

[jd1978]

Sorry probably shouldn't have aired the previous out in here.

 

[p.opus]

Don't look at it as failure.

That's 19 less than you would have had.

Every day you don't smoke is a couple that many less than you would have. I call that a win.

 

[Jay-dub]

I think the best thing to keep a vapor on track is to have a cig if you want. Eventually, you won't. You're senses will be too keen to make the experience pleasurable. No worries! I smoked cigs for a week, after about 9 months of vaping, because I was waiting on a new PV. I couldn't wait to get back to vaping!

 

[Wickeddeuce]

So this is for everyone who is beating themselves up for smoking a cigarette...

Chill out, calm down! You are thinking about this all wrong quit being negative and get positive. How many smokes would you have had if you hadn't started vaping? How many have you had? Is that number less than half? Be proud of what you have accomplished not ashamed of a mistake you made!

 

[Elizabeth Baldwin]

Everybody will cave once or twice. The game changer is if you completely went all out smoking again.

I had a smoke a few weeks back and I took 1 puff and about threw up. It was just nasty. My Marlboro lights that was my best friend for ove 20 years is now my enemy. That one puff was it. I threw it away and kept on vaping. After vaping, to me, smoking just tastes nasty.

Good luck and hang on... We all fall down... Just get up, dust yourself off and keep moving forward.

 

[Nightshard]

The question now is do you want another one?

If the answer is no then yr over analogs, so no big deal (just don't do it again you hear).

 

[Whatnametouse]

I may be too new to comment, but hang in there. It will come back. 1 or 2 is a lot less than a pack...or more

 

[WillyZee]

don't sweat it CShaver ... stop feeling bad and vape on

 

[chawk]

I almost fell today... but I didn't. Only because two kids with vomiting and ........ stopped me. I got mega done kind of mad at the post office over this chick stealing the parking space I'd been cruising around in circles for for 10 minutes. FINALLY someone got ready to leave so I blinkered up and some crazy old lady pulled up behind me and started yelling and blowing the horn so I HAD to circle again because she wouldn't STOP and dude wouldn't move because she wouldn't stop and the chick behind her swooped in and took my spot. I almost caved but I had kids to get home to and no time. After some deep breathing I managed to cool my jets, but my juice is being chain vaped tonight..

 

[chawk]

and p.s. if I ever fall after something like that I will look at it as a anti felony act

 

[revco]

Well, it could be worse. You could have bought a pack, right? You could have hidden it from all of us, your virtual support group? You could have tailspun back to ciggies? But no, you didn't do any of that...so kudos to you! You're right where you need to be...here on ECF talking about it.

It's my opinion you haven't "undone" anything. Smoking, for most of us, becomes an important crutch in our lives and it's something we've continuously turned to in the rougher times in life. It gets so ingrained within us that it's literally the first thing we turn to when the pot starts to boil. When we decide to go against the grain, by whatever means, it counters the nature that we've learned. You'd only be human to not have the super powers to survive it all with absolute perfection. Life, especially in IT, can be full of landmines...I'm a network engineer and I'm just waiting for the day where it all blows up and I'm tested too.

It's hard, but don't beat yourself up over it...you haven't done anything wrong, no more than you felt "wrong" when you were still smoking. The only thing you've done is do well by yourself for having chosen this path to begin with and continuing down the path from here on, no matter what stands in your way. Good luck on the rest of your journey and thanks for sharing.

 

[Talyon]

Sorry you and others have fallen to life's bigger problems it gets us all sooner or later, all is good though.

For this reason I keep some higher nic handy, maybe this can help u also. I haven't needed to use it, and once it's expired I'll get another just in case because it's all part of quitting a deadly and vile habit.

Peace out your doing fine and will win your battle.

 

[Buggainok]

Revco above said it all more smoothly than I can. Ditto.

And don't beat yourself up no more! This is your Virtual Mother speaking.

 

[CShaver]

Lol Thanks everyone. I know it's not as bad as I was telling myself it was, I'm just mad at myself lol.

I'm already at 24mg, and 36 gave me a super nic high. Couldn't do 36 even if I was super upset. Just wish my juice would calm me down like the cigs used to.

Glad to be able to talk about this stuff. My wife quit smoking cold turkey so she never understood why I couldn't. Would not want to experience the one-sided conversation that would ensue if I told her I had a cigarette lol.

 

[TRoxx]

Anyway, I had to bum a smoke off someone because my juice was not working to calm me down.

That's why I have a variable wattage device. . and my favorite juice in 2 nicotine levels.
I have total control over my vaping..
When the going gets tough ...
I can quickly change tanks and increase nicotine levels.. and burn them at maximum wattage!
That throat hit is what you needed.

 

[clnire]

CShaver, you are only human (aren't you?). We all make mistakes, it's what we do from there that counts. So you caved and had a cigarette. It does not undo all the hard work you have done. Just take it from here. If you fall every now and then, as others have said so much better than me, it's not the end of the world. Just get back on your feet and take it from there. You are not starting over, you know what vaping is and you have been successful It will get easier.

My husband quit a 3 PAD addiction about 15 years ago cold turkey. He could not understand why I could not do the same. He accepts my vaping, but isn't the least interested in anything I do with it. Too bad, he has a minor degree in electrical engineering and could help me with building coils and such, but I don't even ask. After 29 years of marriage, he understands to not criticize me and I won't criticize him. So I depend on my friends here, and elsewhere, to help and support me. I have been free for over 14 months now. I can not say I have been totally analog free, I have had a puff or two here and there, but I find it's the nastiest thing I ever did. I do not beat myself up, however, so you must not beat yourself up either.

Some great people here! Congratulations that you could speak up! To hide and feel bad would only feel worse. So take it from here, you have NOT failed!!

 

[CShaver]

That's why I have a variable wattage device. . and my favorite juice in 2 nicotine levels.
I have total control over my vaping..
When the going gets tough ...
I can quickly change tanks and increase nicotine levels.. and burn them at maximum wattage!
That throat hit is what you needed.

I completely understand, but my MVP has a 1.2 ohm microcoil on it, and it's set to either 5 volts or 11 watts depending on how I'm feeling

 

[doghair]

I quit (bad) drinking decades ago. Still have one once or twice a year. It does not mean I've started drinking again. It just is what it is. I'll probably smoke the same way, every once in a long while, it doesn't mean I'm smoking again. I get it that you are ...... for caving but it really is no big deal, don't beat yourself up.