Two months! Two months today! I made it...and then I broke...
On Saturday I had a massive fight with a male friend of mine. This was owing to his repeated comments about different girls as we walked through town. Personally, I don't find it appropriate to comment on a particular body part of a person and how appealing this makes them. 'Objectification' would be the tame version of what he was doing. It was like walking around with an entire rugby team on an 18-30s holiday in Ibiza (uk version!) or football team on spring break (USA version!). He'd be the dirty old man sat in the corner of a pub rubbing his thighs at every pretty girl who walked in! Having spoken to various people about this, it has been agreed that this was totally inappropriate (some have even argued it is dangerous). I told said friend it was inappropriate and disgusting in no uncertain terms. He walked off angrily and about 15 minutes later I went after him. He'd gone home (as expected) where I went to pick up my things. I'd left my 1TB harddrive, blank dvds and the bag I had brought them in and needed them back (why they're there is a long story, but they were). He let me into his building and to all intents and purposes, threw my HDD, bag and dvds at me and slammed the door in my face.
I didn't plug in the HDD until this afternoon. No amount of fiddling and playing would get it to work. That's 1TB of stuff, 1TB of my life GONE! That's one undergrad, two masters and a substantial amount of work towards a PhD, GONE! That's all my photos (I'd scanned in EVERY photo I owned), all my home video clips, all my documents, all my music and movies GONE! What he didn't know is that with the exception of my movies and most of my home video clips, everything was backed up (despite a brief panic about my PhD work and second masters work!)... The point is, 1TB OF MY LIFE WAS GONE!
Today, I'd used less than 1 battery on a 510 penstyle, using 12mg juice...this was at about 5pm in the evening so there hadn't been a lot of nicotine going on today... as I'm sure you can imagine, I caved. 4 cigarettes later and conversations to two very dear friends, we worked out how much I had backed up on disks elsewhere anyway but I still caved... My PC repair store are confident they can retrieve the data, whether he just treated the HDD like poop in the 15 minutes he was alone with it, or formatted it but I'm still so angry! I don't know whether I'm more angry that I smoked (I blame him!) or that my HDD is now broken and I've had to pay £150 to get my data retrieved and onto a new harddrive (I blame him!)! I didn't smoke after I found out a secret about the guy I was seeing and this was the kind of secret that shouldn't be a secret and should have been shared muuuuuuuuuuuuch sooner! I wanted to smoke after I found out his little secret but didn't...I spend an hour in a doctor's office and don't smoke...destroy my 1TB HDD with my entire life on it and I'm gonna smoke! Priorities? Wrong? Anybody?
Interestingly, I needed comfort and I needed it in a destructive manner. I knew smoking was bad but I did it anyway. I KNEW I had nicotine and could turn to the ecig but I didn't. I'm angry with myself for smoking but I'm glad that I learned something about myself. In moments of stress, I can be very self destructive. I need to work on this.
I'm back on the ecig now that I've spoken to the PC repair place. I offered the guy a kidney, a piece of my liver, my first born and my soul (although I'd have to get it back from a friend first) if only he can get the data back. Seriously, I offered him a kidney! He was cool with the usual price of £80 and using the new HDD I just bought for £70 though. Said person is now a former friend (blocked from all forms of contact) as I don't want anyone in my life who is that disgusting about the opposite gender and who can, out of stupidity, negligence or malice, do that to my property (1TB! BABY PHOTOS! 3 DEGREES!). Please keep your fingers crossed for my data, and my sanity...NO MORE CIGS FOR ME! EVER!x
P.S. Moral of the story #1: Have better friends. #2: Back up!!!!!! #3: Destroy all tobacco in your house...BURN IT!...no...wait...flush it down the toilet!
On Saturday I had a massive fight with a male friend of mine. This was owing to his repeated comments about different girls as we walked through town. Personally, I don't find it appropriate to comment on a particular body part of a person and how appealing this makes them. 'Objectification' would be the tame version of what he was doing. It was like walking around with an entire rugby team on an 18-30s holiday in Ibiza (uk version!) or football team on spring break (USA version!). He'd be the dirty old man sat in the corner of a pub rubbing his thighs at every pretty girl who walked in! Having spoken to various people about this, it has been agreed that this was totally inappropriate (some have even argued it is dangerous). I told said friend it was inappropriate and disgusting in no uncertain terms. He walked off angrily and about 15 minutes later I went after him. He'd gone home (as expected) where I went to pick up my things. I'd left my 1TB harddrive, blank dvds and the bag I had brought them in and needed them back (why they're there is a long story, but they were). He let me into his building and to all intents and purposes, threw my HDD, bag and dvds at me and slammed the door in my face.
I didn't plug in the HDD until this afternoon. No amount of fiddling and playing would get it to work. That's 1TB of stuff, 1TB of my life GONE! That's one undergrad, two masters and a substantial amount of work towards a PhD, GONE! That's all my photos (I'd scanned in EVERY photo I owned), all my home video clips, all my documents, all my music and movies GONE! What he didn't know is that with the exception of my movies and most of my home video clips, everything was backed up (despite a brief panic about my PhD work and second masters work!)... The point is, 1TB OF MY LIFE WAS GONE!
Today, I'd used less than 1 battery on a 510 penstyle, using 12mg juice...this was at about 5pm in the evening so there hadn't been a lot of nicotine going on today... as I'm sure you can imagine, I caved. 4 cigarettes later and conversations to two very dear friends, we worked out how much I had backed up on disks elsewhere anyway but I still caved... My PC repair store are confident they can retrieve the data, whether he just treated the HDD like poop in the 15 minutes he was alone with it, or formatted it but I'm still so angry! I don't know whether I'm more angry that I smoked (I blame him!) or that my HDD is now broken and I've had to pay £150 to get my data retrieved and onto a new harddrive (I blame him!)! I didn't smoke after I found out a secret about the guy I was seeing and this was the kind of secret that shouldn't be a secret and should have been shared muuuuuuuuuuuuch sooner! I wanted to smoke after I found out his little secret but didn't...I spend an hour in a doctor's office and don't smoke...destroy my 1TB HDD with my entire life on it and I'm gonna smoke! Priorities? Wrong? Anybody?
Interestingly, I needed comfort and I needed it in a destructive manner. I knew smoking was bad but I did it anyway. I KNEW I had nicotine and could turn to the ecig but I didn't. I'm angry with myself for smoking but I'm glad that I learned something about myself. In moments of stress, I can be very self destructive. I need to work on this.
I'm back on the ecig now that I've spoken to the PC repair place. I offered the guy a kidney, a piece of my liver, my first born and my soul (although I'd have to get it back from a friend first) if only he can get the data back. Seriously, I offered him a kidney! He was cool with the usual price of £80 and using the new HDD I just bought for £70 though. Said person is now a former friend (blocked from all forms of contact) as I don't want anyone in my life who is that disgusting about the opposite gender and who can, out of stupidity, negligence or malice, do that to my property (1TB! BABY PHOTOS! 3 DEGREES!). Please keep your fingers crossed for my data, and my sanity...NO MORE CIGS FOR ME! EVER!x
P.S. Moral of the story #1: Have better friends. #2: Back up!!!!!! #3: Destroy all tobacco in your house...BURN IT!...no...wait...flush it down the toilet!