I smoked a cigarette *cry*

[Iffy]

Tiger, please keep in mind that that one cig DID NOT negate nor reverse the 41 days you've been vaping!

With your issues, stress will peak periodically. If you're feeling strong cig urges, you might want to up your nic level a touch for those times.

Here's hoping that you and your Mom will heal and improve quickly!

 

[Jim Bob]

I'm so sorry for your loss.

 

[frosting]

I hope you choose not to feel about one cigarette. If anything only 1 shows how strong you really are. I wonder how many could go though so much hardship and not buy a damn pack and smoke em' all. Wishing you all the strength in the world. As another had mentioned, upping your nicotine level in juice may prove helpful for you right now. Remember all the cigarettes you have avoided. That is your triumph and what to be proud of. Don't worry yourself over one little slip up.
At the risk of sounding new-agey perhaps some Reiki therapy might help you feel better over all. I had it done a couple times it really helped me feel tremendously better during some hardships in my life. It's a therapist who helps clear you of pent up negativity. A good Reiki therapist should have you feeling wonderful by the end of a session or two.

 

[TigerLadyTX]

I wanted to thank you all for your kind words and your encouragement. I deeply appreciate them.

I switched over to some of my 24mg nic juice today, and it is making the cigarettes in the freezer much less appealing.
I just wish I knew why that pack was there in that seldom used bedroom to tempt me in my time of weakness.

If I were a conspiracy theorist, I would be making myself paranoid thinking that big tobacco sneaked into my house while I am emotionally and physically vulnerable and planted it back there for me to find! (y'all do know that last bit is a joke, right? I do not think anyone sneaked in here and left them for me to find. Lord knows how long they were back there...)

Thank you again,

~Tiger

 

[metapuff]

so sorry to for your loss.
one or two cigs pish! i've gone a year and suddenly got the opportunity to try an analog and did. you know what? it just confirms why i wanted to quit in the first place. those things are nasty! couldn't stand it. another year later, tried it again because it was there. just as nasty. now even when i think of them i just think nasty nasty cig. don't want it. feeling weak for a moment just have your vape handy and a couple of vapes later you'll be right as rain.
we've been there too. no reason to feel bad.

 

[BrotherFrankie]

praying for comfort, rest and peace ..

you are loved

be blessed
bro frankie

 

[ChinMullet]

Cut yourself some slack dear.

Not so much that you light another, but enough to not worry about the one you had.

When I introduced my wife to my e-cig, I told her "By the way, I'm a grown ... man, and if I ever want to smoke, I will."

I had told myself the same thing the night before. Maybe it's stupid, but it took off a lot of pressure. It's easier to make the right choice for me, than to fight against being denied something. I always want what I can't have. I can have a cigarette. I just choose to vape instead.

 

[hairball]

TigerLady, sorry to hear about your loss, you Mom's health, as well as your own problems. It's very understandable that the temptation landed right in your hands so you indulged. Oh well, you had a cig. I think I would have too if I were in your shoes. All I can tell you is to climb back on the wagon and throw those damn things away. Temptation is there...remove it. Don't beat yourself up. You've been through a lot in a short period of time.

As for the granddaughter, as my Mom would say, you made your bed so lay in it. Sorry but birth control is readily available, her/his fault for not using it.

Hugs to you dear...hang in there and get back to vaping. Like I said, throw those damn things away so the tempation isn't there.

 

[blkhwk07]

Sorry to hear of the troubling times.Don't feel bad
about the one you had, feel good about how many you didn't. Now pick yourself up dust off and
get back in that fight!

 

[Dana A]

So sorry for your loss. Don't worry.. It's just a stupid little cig and maybe you will have another but that doesn't mean you have failed. Like others have said here it's not a contest. Just put your big girl vaping panties back on and take it one day at a time. Best wishes to you and your family. PS I have a bad back so I know what its like having it hurt so bad when there is so much to be done. Good luck

 

[9teej]

Don't fret too much. Think of all the one's you didn't have.

 

[NaturesEncore]

As everyone here is saying, don't worry about it. I'm so sorry for your loss, and your family is in my thoughts and prayers.

You and I quit around the same time, and with my son's kidney failure, surgeries, frequent hospitalizations, and dialysis three times per week for the last year, I PURPOSEFULLY kept half a pack of smokes around, just in case. I still haven't touched one, but would definitely NOT admit defeat if I did so. You should not either.

There are many stumbles on the way to being smoke-free. What truly matters is that you get right back up and continue on your healthier journey. You have a very strong, supportive community behind you, and we'll be there every step of the way.
Plus, it doesn't hurt that these vaping flavors are WAY more yummier than those nasty ol' butts.

I usually vape 18mg, but keep a couple of 24mg juices of my fave flaves for highly-stressful moments such as these.

Hugs, Mama! Vape strong and vape on!

 

[dlsw]

You're doing great under tremendous strain, imho. You are still a vaper and you are doing great!

 

[John D in CT]

I hate to be a wet blanket, but you are going to hell because of what you did.



Haha, just kidding. Hey, one of the great things about vaping is that as you know, it's more enjoyable than ciggies. As you said, that one tasted like crap, right? I actually think it's good that you smoked it, just as a reminder of how much they suck.

You'd probably be doing more overall harm to yourself by fretting about smoking that .... than the actual smoking of it did. I like having the mindset that I can smoke one any time I want to (which I obviously can - still a relatively free country) - but I simply don't want to.

The old "finding a pack just sitting there" is a tough one, and I really don't think you'd have slipped if that hadn't happened. Prior to vaping, a lot of my quitting attempts involved pure dumb luck; if nothing insanely stressful, humiliating, or otherwise trigger-pulling occurred for a given time span, I could do OK - sometimes a month or two at a time. But there always seemed to come an event that made me say "that's it, I HAVE to have a cigarette, there is simply no question about it".

Of course, it's a totally different story now. Stressed? Have a vape. Humiliated? Have many vapes. Any flavor I want, any nic strength, any PV, any atomizer/tank/carto; maybe order some new flavors to cheer myself up.

I'd even say that the next time you find yourself desiring a cigarette for whatever reason, take one out of the freezer, set your microwave to "DEFROST" for about 15 seconds, and smoke the stupid thing. It will still suck. It will always suck. Cuz that's what ciggies do - they suck.

So vape on, please forgive yourself, and don't torment yourself with the thought that you can't smoke cigarettes any more. You can, but I really don't think you want to. I think you want to vape. Enjoy it, and have a vapalicious weekend

***

Good lord, I just read the rest of your first post. I had stopped right before you started to enumerate your recent woes.

You are a rock star. You're going through ALL THAT and you had one stupid ciggie because you accidentally found a pack? I'm not worthy; I bow to your superior inner fortitude, and will not disrespect you by even attempting to make eye contact with one so great. You are truly the Chosen One, and I tremble in your presence.

Seriously, ciggies don't stand a chance against you. Not a snowball's chance in the center of the sun. Magic 8-Ball says: "Your future looks ciggie-free".

I'm so sorry about your Aunt; I had to watch my mother take her last dying breaths several years ago, so I know what you went through. And best wishes to your Mom, and to your poor back, and to your expectant teenage granddaughter. Yikes.

Things will get better, and I know you'll do fine, Woman of Steel that you are. Take care.

 

[dlsw]

I hate to be a wet blanket, but you are going to hell because of what you did.

AS IF that is the only reason!!!

 

[Benjamin Pickett]

You shouldn't worry if you smoked just one cig during this harsh time, Its obviously been a stressful time for your self and you should consider it more of a positive that you realized that they tasted disgusting and only smoked one.. I've fallen off the wagon way too many times and when i've tried to stop over wayyy' less serious things than this. You are a soldier for managing so well with this ordeal as you have done and my wishes and condolences go to you and your family..

Dont ever feel bad about it! We are here to help!

 

[TigerLadyTX]

Once again, I just want to thank you all for all of your many kind words and thoughts. I sincerely appreciate each and every one of you.

This coming Thursday I will be having yet another surgery on my back. Hopefully, I will be able to be released the next day and that this particular surgery will actually give me some relief from the pain, at least for awhile.

The results from my Mother's tests have come in and it seems that for whatever reason, her food is just not digesting properly. It takes about five times as long as it should to travel thru her digestive system. I have no idea how that is dealt with tho. We will know more when I take her back to see the gastro doctor on Monday.

Thanks again, all.

~Tiger

 

[NaturesEncore]

I'd even say that the next time you find yourself desiring a cigarette for whatever reason, take one out of the freezer, set your microwave to "DEFROST" for about 15 seconds, and smoke the stupid thing. It will still suck. It will always suck. Cuz that's what ciggies do - they suck.

OMG! That's hilarious! My funny bone thanks you. My bladder? Not so much.

 

[ambeck22]

So sorry to read that, Tiger . I gave my stinkies away and kept one and then forgot about it, but it got tossed as well a week later. Whether you can do that is up to you. As for your mother, that sounds like gastroparesis which is delayed gastric emptying when there is no obstruction (if obstruction was ruled out). Does she have diabetes (it happens more in diabetics)? Good luck at the GI's appointment and super duper good luck with your upcoming surgery. Hugs to you and your mother.