Im not a (anti smoker) Preacher but....

[DaveP]

btw - I let her borrow my 808 PT all last weekend with a fully wrapped "menthol" carto. Yesterday sh returned it and thanked me for letting her try it out. Guess what? The carto had never been taken out of the wrapper.

You are going through an anger phase and don't realize it. I'm sorry to hear about your brother, that must have been terribly difficult. I have been through similar experiences with family members, one who smoked incessantly after being diagnosed with emphysema while on oxygen. She would turn off the oxygen, smoke, and turn it back on. She finally passed on with a heart rate of 180bpm while on FULL 100% oxygen in intensive care. I was there by her bedside when she died.

Sometimes, we don't realize how love can be overpoweringly smothering. We care so much about someone that we drive them crazy trying to change them. Alienation can be the result. Give your friend time. She has the details and is in denial. Don't drive her further away. Let the message sink in. You've done your part.

 

[kgeiger002]

That should tell you right there that trying to convert her is a waste of your time and energy. If you can't accept her for the way she is...maybe you should reevaluate your relationship with her????

She'll always be my friend - doesn't mean I have to like her stubborness. As I said before I will not bring it up to her ever again. I'm not trying to be "caddy" but I have a whole lot of other things to deal with. I just find it sad she is so bull-headed.

 

[markmcs]

She'll always be my friend - doesn't mean I have to like her stubborness. As I said before I will not bring it up to her ever again. I'm not trying to be "caddy" but I have a whole lot of other things to deal with. I just find it sad she is so bull-headed.

Yeah, maybe so. In my experience, whenever I push someone too hard I get a lot of resistance. If I back off, or even stop trying, people often come around sooner or later. If they don't...then at least you did your part.

 

[kgeiger002]

I thank you all (TRULY) for all the advise. ECF is one of the best things I've ever came across. Thanks again All!

 

[Vidi]

...it ticks me off when someone is so rebellious about quitting smoking that they would rather sacrifice their own health/life to hold "true" to their "leave me alone" mentality when it comes to smoking. I've known my friend for over twenty yrs. We've always smoked....we always agreed anti smoker "Preachers" were annoying as hell ! ...Ok now I have started vaping...gave up smoking over four months ago (no looking bacK)...but she is so rebellious she won't even consider it. I've been very nonchalant with her about vaping but she just turns her nose up to it. I'm pretty much over her and hoping/trying to help her quit and change to vaping. If she wants to be rebellious then so be it. I gave it my best shot with her. It's her Funeral !

I don't try to sell the health aspects of vaping anymore. Some people just don't care. What I sell to them is how much more pleasurable the Vaping experience is to analogs.

I told a story not too long ago about a guy at work seeing me vape and comment," You're never gonna quit that"

I asked," Why do you say that?"

He chuckled and said," You're enjoying it too much."

Just hang out and be her friend, When she sees how much you're enjoying vaping, tell her about the flavors and how great they are. Tell her about the time you vaped in a public place while the smokers were outside in the rain or snow. Tell her about how much money you're saving ( and BUY something that she can see with some of that money )

Then wait for her to ask you about it.

 

[kristin]

I told a story not too long ago about a guy at work seeing me vape and comment," You're never gonna quit that"

I asked," Why do you say that?"

Should have asked, "Why should I have to? Do you drink coffee? Same thing."

 

[rosesense]

I understand the OP, I felt that a bit like that in the beginning. I have a good friend who really needed to quit smoking for her health. She has a lot of stress/problems in her life which made it so hard to quit. She went the cold turkey route and I was afraid she would end up off the deep end. I tried to get her to at least try vaping and she would not even hear of it. Her explanation was she just couldn't do it. She also wouldn't use gum, patches or anything else. I still don't know what her reasoning is but she made it off cigs for 6 months so I am happy for her.

I think a lot of people are terrified to put the liquid into their bodies even though they will smoke cigs knowing they are so bad for them. Maybe a fear of the unkown or it seems unnatural to them. Several friends I helped get started vaping have quit smoking but they won't even consider one of the tasty flavors and will only use menthol or tobacco. I don't get that one either but at least they aren't smoking so to each his/her own.

 

[potholerepairman]

off topic a bit.If a smoker tells you unsolicited that they will just quit "completely" and not smoke or vape sometime in the future.Laugh point clap and cry with hysterics till you can't breath anymore.

 

[ShannonS]

You realize that she is probably grieving for the loss of something you two had in common? If you are very close and changed the friendship from "we two smoking outcasts vs the world" she might be missing that. She's the lone outcast now. She's lost something that you two had in common and now she's being pressured to change as well. She might resent you and your PV for that reason.

I think you owe her an apology for being pushy and controlling. (Yeah, I went there)

Pressure and judging aren't very effective ways to get what you want. No one will ever consider your point of view when they are feeling angry and defensive. You could tell her that you love her no matter what and that you will be there for her no matter what and then show her by example how fun vaping is. Everything has changed and she needs time to adjust.

 

[uba egar320]

You realize that she is probably grieving for the loss of something you two had in common? If you are very close and changed the friendship from "we two smoking outcasts vs the world" she might be missing that. She's the lone outcast now. She's lost something that you two had in common and now she's being pressured to change as well. She might resent you and your PV for that reason.

I think you owe her an apology for being pushy and controlling. (Yeah, I went there)

Pressure and judging aren't very effective ways to get what you want. No one will ever consider your point of view when they are feeling angry and defensive. You could tell her that you love her no matter what and that you will be there for her no matter what and then show her by example how fun vaping is. Everything has changed and she needs time to adjust.

I don't think he needs to apologize for caring. She knows him well enough to know it was out of him caring for her well being. Besides, some people need a swift kick in the ... to get them set straight.

 

[kgeiger002]

You realize that she is probably grieving for the loss of something you two had in common? If you are very close and changed the friendship from "we two smoking outcasts vs the world" she might be missing that. She's the lone outcast now. She's lost something that you two had in common and now she's being pressured to change as well. She might resent you and your PV for that reason.

I think you owe her an apology for being pushy and controlling. (Yeah, I went there)

Pressure and judging aren't very effective ways to get what you want. No one will ever consider your point of view when they are feeling angry and defensive. You could tell her that you love her no matter what and that you will be there for her no matter what and then show her by example how fun vaping is. Everything has changed and she needs time to adjust.

As I mentioned before I was never pushy to her about it. All the feelings I presented within this thread are mine and have always been kept in "the vault." She has no idea that I'm even mad at her about this.

 

[kgeiger002]

I don't think he needs to apologize for caring. She knows him well enough to know it was out of him caring for her well being. Besides, some people need a swift kick in the ... to get them set straight.

Thanks uba

 

[uba egar320]

Thanks uba

Anytime! Not trying to get anything going with ShannonS(I'm scared of her!), but you only seemed to be trying to help out a buddy. Pals are allowed to get raw with each other.

 

[Pav]

I've been very nonchalant with her about vaping but she just turns her nose up to it.

Not sure why people are ragging on you here K. I think it is important for us vapers to expose friends/family who are smokers to vaping in a good way, which it sounds like you did. Don't let it get to you though. It's a new thing and many are resistant to change. I've usually told smokers I know that when they're interested in quitting they should try vaping if they have troubles going cold turkey and to get with me for advice on what to buy, how to use, etc. Just making sure they know help is available is about all we can do I think.

I do happen to get a bit POed when people automatically have a preconceived notion that vaping is just as bad as smoking based on just glancing at a headline about the FDA report and not really having the knowledge to back it up. I still remain calm but get the point across that it's simply not true.

 

[SimpleSins]

I don't think he needs to apologize for caring. She knows him well enough to know it was out of him caring for her well being. Besides, some people need a swift kick in the ... to get them set straight.

Assuming you smoked before you started vaping, how effective would that swift kick have been for you? Speaking for myself, it didn't matter how many "kicks" I got, I was not going to give up cigarettes until I wanted to, no matter how much loving, cajoling, berating, or better-than-smoking ways were presented to me.

 

[kgeiger002]

Assuming you smoked before you started vaping, how effective would that swift kick have been for you? Speaking for myself, it didn't matter how many "kicks" I got, I was not going to give up cigarettes until I wanted to, no matter how much loving, cajoling, berating, or better-than-smoking ways were presented to me.

Hence the reason I've given up and thrown in the towel.

 

[uba egar320]

Assuming you smoked before you started vaping, how effective would that swift kick have been for you? Speaking for myself, it didn't matter how many "kicks" I got, I was not going to give up cigarettes until I wanted to, no matter how much loving, cajoling, berating, or better-than-smoking ways were presented to me.

If that swift kick in the ... involved basically still being able to smoke, I'd have been all over it. Just about everyone I know that is an adult and smokes isn't happy with the fact that they are paying someone to slowly kill them.

 

[JohnReagan]

She'll always be my friend - doesn't mean I have to like her stubborness. As I said before I will not bring it up to her ever again. I'm not trying to be "caddy" but I have a whole lot of other things to deal with. I just find it sad she is so bull-headed.

I can see how much you care about her. I can understand that. But I have one friend that's lasted since high school and is in my life regularly - a rare luxury for many - and the reason we've been friends for so long is because he never questioned my smoking and I never question his unhealthy eating habits. We would have died from both our lifestyles - but we never got in each other's face about it, and that's why we are still friends. I'm cut throat with nagging anti-smokers or other antis. So is he. Live and let live.

 

[kgeiger002]

My friend is a co-worker of mine. We've both worked for the same company for over twenty years. Back in the days when I smoked we would obviously take smoke breaks together. I've maintained that relationship with her. I'll go have a vape while she has her smoke. When I first started vaping I was so excited about it that I blabbed all about it to her. I could tell it was falling on deaf ears. In the past I always told her that I would "one day" quit. Well that day eventually came...but I already knew that she might have some resentment about it so I never pushed it. I make conversation about my "new toy" from time to time, even started vaping right at my desk - hoping inside she'd think Wow he's vaping and no one even cares or notices. I let her know how much money I was saving and that's about it. Well last week she actually brought it up to me and said her husband was thinking about trying e-cigs. I can't lie I got excited! So I brought my 808 manual battery and PT in to the office. Put two cartos within the bag with the supplies. Showed her how to use it and everything. Made sure one of the cartos was menthol (which she smokes) and let her know I gave her a carto if she wanted to try it - she said she would. This past Monday she returned the bag. The cartos hadn't even been used - well at least I know the menthol one wasn't since it was still wrapped up.
Part of my frustration is I've heard her "smoker's" cough get progressively worse through the years. She really sounds bad. When it comes to smoking I have heard her say many times "You gotta die sometime." See that bugs me (that statement)...it's not the dying it's how you die from smoking. At this point I feel I have given it my best shot so I'll just leave it alone from this point on.

 

[JohnReagan]

My friend is a co-worker of mine. We've both worked for the same company for over twenty years. Back in the days when I smoked we would obviously take smoke breaks together. I've maintained that relationship with her. I'll go have a vape while she has her smoke. When I first started vaping I was so excited about it that I blabbed all about it to her. I could tell it was falling on deaf ears. In the past I always told her that I would "one day" quit. Well that day eventually came...but I already knew that she might have some resentment about it so I never pushed it. I make conversation about my "new toy" from time to time, even started vaping right at my desk - hoping inside she'd think Wow he's vaping and no one even cares or notices. I let her know how much money I was saving and that's about it. Well last week she actually brought it up to me and said her husband was thinking about trying e-cigs. I can't lie I got excited! So I brought my 808 manual battery and PT in to the office. Put two cartos within the bag with the supplies. Showed her how to use it and everything. Made sure one of the cartos was menthol (which she smokes) and let her know I gave her a carto if she wanted to try it - she said she would. This past Monday she returned the bag. The cartos hadn't even been used - well at least I know the menthol one wasn't since it was still wrapped up.
Part of my frustration is I've heard her "smoker's" cough get progressively worse through the years. She really sounds bad. When it comes to smoking I have heard her say many times "You gotta die sometime." See that bugs me (that statement)...it's not the dying it's how you die from smoking. At this point I feel I have given it my best shot so I'll just leave it alone from this point on.

You've done a beautiful thing K. I too would present the facts of how great it is to be a vaper. How much more enjoyable it is than analogs. I'd be angry inside myself too, because we love these people. Once they resist, then it's their choice, unfortunately. You're a class act.