JULY CONTEST!! WIN $25.00 shopping spree

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Anise

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and we transformed into eagles, except the Terminator who stayed Terminated. Picking up the Terminator between us we flew quickly away. We couldn't get very high because the Terminator was heavy, but we got high enough to get away.
We landed on a mountain top and transformed again. "That is the last time I do the right thing" The princess nodded in agreement while the Terminator just stood there looking tough. I whispered to the princess " Why are we still bringing him with us? Wouldn't you rather it just be the two of us?" She glanced at him and replied....
 
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stols001

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"IDK I was thinking threesome... ??? Maybe??"

I stared at my crazy but beautiful princess and muttered, "Well if that is what was the case, he should have shared in the waxing costs REGARDLESS."

Gazing down as tears welled up in my eyes, I realized she hadn't negotiated a prenup at least, and said, "Let's head to some state where that's actually legal and all get married."

But---
 
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jdy

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in a flash POOF the Racoon who originally had run with my beer, yes the one who then hit me with a bottle APPEARED. He was holding a case of Irish Beers, I asked if he was going to share? He replied "If you're up for it - Catch me if you can and my treasure is yours!" he turned and ….
 

stols001

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Sped of, wiggling his oddly naked and segmented tail. Or is that possums? In either case, whether I just had a racoon with a chromosome issue before my eyes, or a disgusting vermin, well I decided I didn't want the disgusting vermin's alcohol, I mean they can carry rabies, and I'd well imagine, one that could TALK was far along the rabid trail, as it were.

Turning to the princess, I said, "Lets try to do the dream NOT drunk if you don't mind."

Only I noticed at my feet were sprouting some beautiful mushrooms. "I'm sure they're fine," I remarked to my princess, as I bent over and plucked some of the mushrooms out of the ground."

But when I---

Anna
 
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jdy

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Touched it I was instantly transferred to an amazing beautiful place but I was alone and so confused. There before me was a giant mushroom man and he was talking going on and on.

I tried asking "Where are we, what is this place" but he just kept rambling on and on. I was thinking the transfer here through and I think the mushrooms from my feet drugged me. I tried to FOCUS but that didn't work, it had to be....

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jdy

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relax I told myself don't let this get you stressed out. I tried to sit down and realized I no longer had knees. Suddenly I was falling and there was nothing around me I could feel the air whipping around me further and further I fell.

It wasn't bad enough to be in the land of Alice in Wonderland now where will I end up with a THUD I landed and....
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jdy

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mumble gibberish but I wasn't only in a cow pasture I was in a cow paddy, the group past me by as they didn't want to eat anything growing out of a cow paddy!
Now I needed find a way out of this OMG stink I headed for the tree line thinking maybe there will be a river I can wash in. Since I no longer had legs I had to spring hop across the field. When I made it to the trees I found
 

stols001

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I thought to myself, "It was my belief that hippies were WAY less selective about their food than that," and wished I had not hopped right into the river, but fortunately at a way station, a very cute dog thing snatched me out of the rapids, and said, "I heard you calling me Rover, but I think we are at the point in our relationship where you can call me by my true name, Princess Lillydew Spots Trump."

Gasping in astonishment I stared at her luxuriant coat. It was indeed a sort of reddish orange and so ask I gasped and came back up for air I said, :"-----
 
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Anise

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Are you related to... " No I decided I didn't want to know. "Nevermind it doesn't matter. I love you and you love me and the Terminator is kinda kinky. Let's find a place on this bright summer day where we can all get married and live in the real world together and leave the dreams behind"
As I said it I realized I was still a mushroom "Um your magic is stronger than mine. Think you can do something about this mushroom situation?".......
 
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jdy

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She replied with sautéed mushrooms over roast beef sounds really good right now and that is a cows pasture over yonder! The look in her eyes really scared me and I screamed FOCUS, I guess the mushrooms drug had finally worn off and POOF I was back to normal.
Quickly I got across the river and tried talking and there was no more gibberish I told her lets go cook up that cow if she still wanted it. She ….
 

Anise

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took off towards the cows and before I caught up with her she had killed and butchered out some porterhouse steaks. I set to building a fire while she picked some mushrooms. We roasted our steaks and mushrooms over the fire, mine medium and hers so rare it almost mood.
I started feeling funny and realized she must have picked magic mushrooms. Please no more fantasy and lucid dreams but I started howling anyway. She growled and nipped at me but wasn't as ferocious with her hair mostly gone.
I looked for the Terminator but.....
 

jdy

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he was nowhere around, where does he keep disappearing to.

The drugs of the mushrooms were getting stronger this time Princess Lillydew and I were both affected maybe if we hold hands we can stay together through this next bout.

She was still growling as I took her hand a Submarine floated by, I couldn't help myself I started Singing, WE all Live in a YELLOW Submarine, YELLOW Submarine just then HOWL, HOWL, began coming out......

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stols001

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I muttered to myself, "I hate that song, and honestly, I think the Beatles were overrated, but then so was Elvis."

Suddenly Elvis in the flesh stood before me, "You called?" he said, "It is indeed true that I am alive and well."

Princess Lilydew halted her barking song and said, "Hi there Elvis, thanks for coming. Do you realize what they've done to Graceland?"

Evis got upset and we decided to travel there and take it back from Tourism, and decided we needed heavy armaments, Tourism is a difficult thing to fight. So we stopped in to an Armaments Shop.

We entered and the clerk said, "Howdy folks how can I---"

Anna
 
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jdy

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help arm you today? We weren't sure where to start, so we explained we wanted to clear out a bunch of people, what we would need.

He suggested some smoke bombs that would be a good place to start and we would need gas masks with those and then ...
 

Anise

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some submachine guns wound be handy in case they were particularly pesky vermin. We got some beanbag guns and those guns that shoot rubber bullets plus ammo for everything.
"How are we going to carry all of this?" I asked but then the Terminator showed up again. "He can carry it"
So we all set off down the yellow brick road, the princess, Elvis, the Terminator, and me. "Let's go take back Graceland!"........
 
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stols001

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I thought to myself, "If I knew the Terminator was coming I would have stocked up with less arms," but then I was like, "Those lot, tourists they probably would just think he was an attraction."

Elvis started like singing some of his greatest hits, "That dude can really dance," I thought to myself, and as we entered Graceland the Elvis cultists came rushing out to meet him. "We KNEW you weren't dead!" They exclaimed.

"NO, but YOU ARE," he sung in answer, pulling a large machine gun from behind his waist, and opening fire. The tourists scattered like----
 
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