Pavlov is sitting at a pub having a drink. The phone behind the bar rings, and he jumps up and yells,
"Oh sh
t! I forgot to feed the dog!"
"Oh sh
t! I forgot to feed the dog!"Laughter is the best medicine
- Thread starter gthompson
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next dog i get i am gonna name him "naked". that way i can say i am gonna walk naked down the street!
My favorite one:
An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and back together again.
The boy asked his father, “What is this, father?”
The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, “Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don’t know what it is.”
While the boy and his father watched wide-eyed, an old lady, limping slightly with a cane, slowly walked up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady walked between them and into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched as small circles of light with numbers above the wall lit up. They continued to watch with fascination as the circles then lit up in the reverse direction.
When the walls opened again and out walked a beautiful 24-year-old woman, the man turns to his son and said, “Go get your Mother.”
An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and back together again.
The boy asked his father, “What is this, father?”
The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, “Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don’t know what it is.”
While the boy and his father watched wide-eyed, an old lady, limping slightly with a cane, slowly walked up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady walked between them and into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched as small circles of light with numbers above the wall lit up. They continued to watch with fascination as the circles then lit up in the reverse direction.
When the walls opened again and out walked a beautiful 24-year-old woman, the man turns to his son and said, “Go get your Mother.”
Here's another:
A guy named Stewart sees a help wanted ad for a door to door salesman job and goes to apply. The hiring manager, like any other good manager, interviews the applicant.
HM: So, what is your name?
Stewart: My name isshh Shtewart,but my friendsh call me Shtu, and I will be the besht shalesman your company has every sheen!
The hiring manager thinking to himself, wow, this guy has a really bad speech impediment, and this position requires a lot of talking to potential customers. He decides to continue the interview.
HM: Well OK, Stewart, this job involves a lot of selling and talking to potential customers. We sell toothbrushes. Do you think you can do the job?
Stewart: Oh no problem at all! I will be the besht toothbrush shalesman your company has ever sheen!
HM: Ok, Stewart. Here's the deal. You have to make $100 a day in sales. Heck, our best salesman barely makes that. If you can't do that, I'm afraid there will be no future for you with our company.
Stewart: Oh that won't be a problem shir! I will shell more toothbrushes than you have ever sheen!
The hiring manager quietly shakes his head but figures what the heck, the kid seems abitious.
The next day, Stewart reports back to the manager.
HM: So Stewart, how did it go?
Stewart: Well shir, I made about ten thoushand dollarsh yeshterday in shales.
HM: TEN THOUSAND? WOW! That's incredible!! How did you do it?
Stewart: Shimple shir! Firsht, I went and bought shome crackersh and put dog poop on them. I put them out on a table and made a shign that shaid free shamples.
HM: Dog poop?!? You put out crackers with dog poop on them?!?!
Stewart: YESH!! People would come and get a shample and shay, ewww, thish tashtes like dog poop! And I would shay, It ISH DOG POOP! Want to buy a toothbrush?
A guy named Stewart sees a help wanted ad for a door to door salesman job and goes to apply. The hiring manager, like any other good manager, interviews the applicant.
HM: So, what is your name?
Stewart: My name isshh Shtewart,but my friendsh call me Shtu, and I will be the besht shalesman your company has every sheen!
The hiring manager thinking to himself, wow, this guy has a really bad speech impediment, and this position requires a lot of talking to potential customers. He decides to continue the interview.
HM: Well OK, Stewart, this job involves a lot of selling and talking to potential customers. We sell toothbrushes. Do you think you can do the job?
Stewart: Oh no problem at all! I will be the besht toothbrush shalesman your company has ever sheen!
HM: Ok, Stewart. Here's the deal. You have to make $100 a day in sales. Heck, our best salesman barely makes that. If you can't do that, I'm afraid there will be no future for you with our company.
Stewart: Oh that won't be a problem shir! I will shell more toothbrushes than you have ever sheen!
The hiring manager quietly shakes his head but figures what the heck, the kid seems abitious.
The next day, Stewart reports back to the manager.
HM: So Stewart, how did it go?
Stewart: Well shir, I made about ten thoushand dollarsh yeshterday in shales.
HM: TEN THOUSAND? WOW! That's incredible!! How did you do it?
Stewart: Shimple shir! Firsht, I went and bought shome crackersh and put dog poop on them. I put them out on a table and made a shign that shaid free shamples.
HM: Dog poop?!? You put out crackers with dog poop on them?!?!
Stewart: YESH!! People would come and get a shample and shay, ewww, thish tashtes like dog poop! And I would shay, It ISH DOG POOP! Want to buy a toothbrush?
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