Make us Laugh!!!
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Uh Oh.... did you get a PM spanking you for this joke. If so just PM it to me, the curiosity is killing me.
P.S. No worries I got spanked once too.
Uh Oh.... did you get a PM spanking you for this joke. If so just PM it to me, the curiosity is killing me.
P.S. No worries I got spanked once too.
No "PM spanking".
I'll post it again for you!
However, if I don't get any likes by later tonight I may take it down again, as I'm not sure if it is appropriate. LOL
Here you go!
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This guy has to get his father into a nursing home, so he talks it over with his father and his father doesn’t want to go. The son finally tells his father to go and stay for a couple of weeks check it out, and if you decide you don’t like it there I’ll come and get you and bring you back home. So, the father agrees and decides to go and check it out.
The first morning a gorgeous nurse walks in and states she is there to give him a sponge bath. During the sponge bath he gets excited and the nurse kindly gives him a happy ending. He starts thinking to himself, WOW! this place is not so bad after all.
That afternoon his son calls on the phone to check up on his father. The father goes on and on about how much he likes it there, and how it really isn’t such a bad place and then tells his son about the sponge bath with the happy ending, and how he feels that it going to work out fine being there. The son gets all excited and tells his father that this is great news, finishes the conversation and hangs up.
Well, that evening the father is walking down the hall and falls down. A male intern quickly runs up behind him and starts “getting” him from behind. The male intern finishes his business, helps the father up and tells to him that he better be quite about what just happened if he know what is best for him.
The father, all shook up gets back to his room to call his son and explains the whole story about how he fell down and how the male intern came up behind him and had his way with him. The father goes on to tell him that he really needs to get him out of this place and take him back home. The son thinks for a minute and says to his father; “dad, sometimes you just have to take the good with the bad”. Then the father says;
“No! No! I don’t think you understand son. I only get excited once a month, however I’m falling down three times a day.”
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One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck.
The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car.
He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement.
He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle.
Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires.
The blonde started laughing.
This made the man angrier so he smashed her windshield.
This time the blonde laughed even harder.
Livid, the man broke all her windows and keyed her car.
The blonde is now laughing hysterically, so the truck driver asks her what's so funny.
The blonde giggles and replies, "When you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!"
The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car.
He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement.
He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle.
Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires.
The blonde started laughing.
This made the man angrier so he smashed her windshield.
This time the blonde laughed even harder.
Livid, the man broke all her windows and keyed her car.
The blonde is now laughing hysterically, so the truck driver asks her what's so funny.
The blonde giggles and replies, "When you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!"
There was this virgin that was going out on a date for the first time and she told her grandmother about it. So, the grandmother says sit here and let me tell you about those young boys. He is going to try to kiss you, you are going to like that but, don't let him do that. He is going to try to feel your breast, you are going to like that but, don't let him do that.
He is going to try to put his hand between your legs , you are going to like that but, don't let him do that. But most important, he is going to try to get on top of you and have his way with you. You are going to like that but, don't let him do that, it will disgrace the family.
With that bit of advise, the granddaughter went on her date and could not wait to tell her grandmother about it. So, the next day she told her grandmother that her date went just like she had said it would. But then she said "Grandmother I didn't let him disgrace the family. When he tried I turned over, got on top of him and disgraced his family."
He is going to try to put his hand between your legs , you are going to like that but, don't let him do that. But most important, he is going to try to get on top of you and have his way with you. You are going to like that but, don't let him do that, it will disgrace the family.
With that bit of advise, the granddaughter went on her date and could not wait to tell her grandmother about it. So, the next day she told her grandmother that her date went just like she had said it would. But then she said "Grandmother I didn't let him disgrace the family. When he tried I turned over, got on top of him and disgraced his family."
I don't post alot, I'm a newbie and have been lurking for awhile but this makes me mad. I read Ms. Evie Luv's joke before it was deleted and it wasn't a joke worthy of being "inappropriate content". I was shocked when I read the thread and found it had been deleted. The "Make us laugh" thread is a thread I really enjoy reading and I hope others read her joke before it was deleted. I did a search and the joke she posted is also posted by others on other threads in ecf forums. Someone reported this post not because the content was worse than other jokes on this same thread but because either they don't like Ms. Evie or they have another issue with her personally. I see this as a personal attack on Ms. Evie and I do find offense with that. I have read many posts here in the Bloog forum and I find that she is a sweet girl with a big heart and sense of humor and I enjoy her posts they make me laugh or are informative and honest. To whoever reported this post and yet didn't report other posts that can be worthy of "inappropriate content"...........shame on you!!
Didn't even get to see it.
Anyway, this thread already had a "political" issue when it started, and everything was solved "within the community", without any external intervention.
I suppose the same thing could have been done now... (although I don't know what the issue was)
Anyway, this thread already had a "political" issue when it started, and everything was solved "within the community", without any external intervention.
I suppose the same thing could have been done now... (although I don't know what the issue was)
A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them.
His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing. The man says, "I'm sending out 1,000 Valentine cards signed, 'Guess who?'"
"But why?" asks the man.
"I'm a divorce lawyer," the man replies.
His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing. The man says, "I'm sending out 1,000 Valentine cards signed, 'Guess who?'"
"But why?" asks the man.
"I'm a divorce lawyer," the man replies.
Jrangers I appreciate your kind words but I don't want anyone mad. I'm not a fighter nor do I want anyone fighting. I was very hurt this morning when I signed on before work to find a PM and my joke deleted. It wasn't even bad but that's the way they want to be so be it. I know who done it and why. That is her burden to carry not mine, I've done nothing wrong. I always apoligise when I'm in the wrong and when others wrong me I turn the other cheek, most of the time.
I am here to enjoy friends, learn more about vaping and be one of the first to know when da juice goes on sale at Bloog. So please say nothing more about it. Life is too precious to fuss over trivial things.PS You forgot to post your joke at the end.
Now let's everybody get on with visiting, vaping and having fun.
I don't recall ever seeing oldsoldier before. Maybe he's a new moderator?
As for Evie's joke, it seemed very familiar, like maybe she posted it here once before, or I've seen it on another joke thread. It wasn't my kind of thing, but certainly not the worse I've ever seen - not worthy of being deleted anyhow.
As for Evie's joke, it seemed very familiar, like maybe she posted it here once before, or I've seen it on another joke thread. It wasn't my kind of thing, but certainly not the worse I've ever seen - not worthy of being deleted anyhow.
Jrangers I appreciate your kind words but I don't want anyone mad. I'm not a fighter nor do I want anyone fighting. I was very hurt this morning when I signed on before work to find a PM and my joke deleted. It wasn't even bad but that's the way they want to be so be it. I know who done it and why. That is her burden to carry not mine, I've done nothing wrong. I always apoligise when I'm in the wrong and when others wrong me I turn the other cheek, most of the time.
PS You forgot to post your joke at the end.
Now let's everybody get on with visiting, vaping and having fun.
As you wish, I'll say no more and you're right life is too precious to fuss over trivial things, I think we both can attest to that since the 27th just realising you are from Bama too. I'm very proud of you for how gracious your response was to all this and I'm happy they un-deleted your post. Okay zipping my mouth now.
If I had seen you're an Auburn fan before I might not have said anything.
Here is my joke as per your instructions!
One Sunday morning, the pastor noticed little Alex was staring up at the large plaque that hung in the foyer of the church.
It was covered with names, and small American flags were mounted on either side of it.
The seven-year-old had been staring at th e plaque for some time, so the pastor walked up, stood beside the boy, and said quietly, "Good morning, Alex."
"Good morning," replied the young man, still focused on the plaque.
"What is this?" Alex asked.
"Well, son, it's a memorial to all the young men and women who died in the service."
Soberly, they stood together, staring at the large plaque.
Little Alex's voice was trembling and barely audible when he asked, "Which service pastor, the morning service or the evening service?
Who the h*** could have negative feelings toward Evie???? Dont see how thats possible
hmm crap have no jokes....
hmm crap have no jokes....
As you wish, I'll say no more and you're right life is too precious to fuss over trivial things, I think we both can attest to that since the 27th just realising you are from Bama too. I'm very proud of you for how gracious your response was to all this and I'm happy they un-deleted your post. Okay zipping my mouth now.
If I had seen you're an Auburn fan before I might not have said anything.
1. Wow didn't know they put it back up, that's good I think? They didn't say anything, wonder if the person that reported it said anything to them? Hmmmmm.
2. And
to you Tider 
Thanks so I'll play nice no football jokes since there is a truce at the moment. Here is my joke:
BANNED FROM K- MART........ ...
This is why women should not take men shopping against their will.
DON'T TAKE ME IF I DON'T WANT TO GO............ .
After Mr. and Mrs. Fenton retired, Mrs. Fenton insisted her
husband accompany her on her trips to K -Mart.
Unfortunately, Mr. Fenton was like most men, he found shopping
boring and preferred to get in and get out..
Equally unfortunately, Mrs. Fenton was like most women--she
loved to browse. One day Mrs. Fenton received the following letter from
her local K -Mart.
Dear Mrs. Fenton,
Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a
commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may be
forced to ban both of you from the store.
Our complaints against Mr. Fenton are listed below and are documented
by our video surveillance cameras.
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in
people's carts when they weren't looking.
2 . July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at
5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to
the women's restroom.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official
voice, "Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away."
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of
M&M's on lay a way.
6... September 14: Moved a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR" sign to a
carpeted area.
7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and
told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department.
8. September 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he
began crying and screamed, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it
as a mirror while he picked his nose...
10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department,
he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while
loudly humming the " Mission Impossible" theme.
12. December 6: In the auto department, he practiced his
"Madonna look" by using different sizes of funnels.
13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed
through, yelled "PICK ME! PICK ME!"
14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud
speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed "OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!"
And last, but not least ..
15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited
awhile, then yelled very loudly, "Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!"
Who the h*** could have negative feelings toward Evie???? Dont see how thats possible
hmm crap have no jokes....
I'll post one for you. I wouldn't want you breaking the rules. Plus I can get a jab in on Jrangers.
One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt.
Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me,
What setting do I use on the washing machine?'
It depends,' I replied. 'What does it say on your shirt?'
He yelled back, ' University of Alabama ..'
And they say blondes are dumb...
It's a husband joke not a football joke.
OK, fair warning~ I have a really stupid sense of humor...
A guy with a huge orange head goes in to see a doctor. The doctor says, "How did you get such a huge orange head?" The guy says, "Well, one day I was walking down the beach when I tripped over an old lantern. A genie came out and said, I'll grant you three wishes, whatever you desire...what is your first wish?' I said, I'd like all the money I could ever spend.' The genie went Poof!', and there it was, all the money I could ever spend. Then he said, What is your second wish?' I said, I'd like a beautiful woman to love me, someone I could enjoy this money with.' The genie went Poof!', and there she was, a gorgeous girl who immediately loved me. Then the genie said, And what is your third wish?'...and I think this is where I went wrong...I said, I'd like a huge orange head.'"
A guy with a huge orange head goes in to see a doctor. The doctor says, "How did you get such a huge orange head?" The guy says, "Well, one day I was walking down the beach when I tripped over an old lantern. A genie came out and said, I'll grant you three wishes, whatever you desire...what is your first wish?' I said, I'd like all the money I could ever spend.' The genie went Poof!', and there it was, all the money I could ever spend. Then he said, What is your second wish?' I said, I'd like a beautiful woman to love me, someone I could enjoy this money with.' The genie went Poof!', and there she was, a gorgeous girl who immediately loved me. Then the genie said, And what is your third wish?'...and I think this is where I went wrong...I said, I'd like a huge orange head.'"
A guy has a very severe stutter and after seeing every speech therapist he can find, he finally goes to a neurologist at the recommendation of his last therapist.
"D.d.d.doc, y.y.y..you gotta he.he.help m.m.m.me", he said. After a long laborious conversation he explained to the doctor about his stutter.
The doctor did some test and told him to come back the next day.
"I have some awkward news for you" said the doctor. Apparently your "private part" is so large that as it hangs down, it is putting pressure on a nerve, and
that is what is causing the stutter. "Wh.wh.wha.what c.c.can I d.d.do d.d.d.doc?" cried the man. I am afraid the only solution is to cut about half the length
off of it. Why don't you go home and think about it, and then come back to see me.
The man goes back the next day and agrees to the cure. After he wakes from the surgery, he tries saying a few words and is greatly relieved to find that the
stutter is indeed gone. After thanking the doctor profusely he heads home. After a few days however, when the bandages come off his "member", he can't get
over the loss and goes back to see the doctor. "Doc!" He cries, you gotta reverse the surgery. I'd rather stutter than live without my full size!
The doctor looks at him solemnly, and just shakes his head....
I I I I'm s.s.s.s.orry, th.th.tha.that's im.im.im.impo.impo.impos.... can't do it!
"D.d.d.doc, y.y.y..you gotta he.he.help m.m.m.me", he said. After a long laborious conversation he explained to the doctor about his stutter.
The doctor did some test and told him to come back the next day.
"I have some awkward news for you" said the doctor. Apparently your "private part" is so large that as it hangs down, it is putting pressure on a nerve, and
that is what is causing the stutter. "Wh.wh.wha.what c.c.can I d.d.do d.d.d.doc?" cried the man. I am afraid the only solution is to cut about half the length
off of it. Why don't you go home and think about it, and then come back to see me.
The man goes back the next day and agrees to the cure. After he wakes from the surgery, he tries saying a few words and is greatly relieved to find that the
stutter is indeed gone. After thanking the doctor profusely he heads home. After a few days however, when the bandages come off his "member", he can't get
over the loss and goes back to see the doctor. "Doc!" He cries, you gotta reverse the surgery. I'd rather stutter than live without my full size!
The doctor looks at him solemnly, and just shakes his head....
I I I I'm s.s.s.s.orry, th.th.tha.that's im.im.im.impo.impo.impos.... can't do it!
A farmer decided
he wanted to go to town
and see a movie.
The ticket agent asked,
"sir, what's that on your shoulder?"
the old farmer said,
"that's my pet rooster chuck.
Wherever i go, chuck goes."
"i'm sorry sir," said the ticket agent
"we can't allow animals in the theater."
the old farmer went around the corner
and stuffed chuck down his overalls.
Then he returned to the booth,
bought a ticket, and entered the theater.
He sat down next to
two old widows
named mildred and marge.
The movie started
and the rooster began to squirm.
He unbuttoned his fly so
chuck could stick his head out
and watch the movie.
"marge," whispered mildred.
"what?" said marge.
"i think the guy next to me
is a pervert."
"what makes you think so?" asked marge?
"he undid his pants and
he has his thing out", whispered mildred.
"well, don't worry about it", said marge.
"at our age we've seen 'em all"
"i thought so too", said mildred,
"but this one's eatin' my popcorn !!"
he wanted to go to town
and see a movie.
The ticket agent asked,
"sir, what's that on your shoulder?"
the old farmer said,
"that's my pet rooster chuck.
Wherever i go, chuck goes."
"i'm sorry sir," said the ticket agent
"we can't allow animals in the theater."
the old farmer went around the corner
and stuffed chuck down his overalls.
Then he returned to the booth,
bought a ticket, and entered the theater.
He sat down next to
two old widows
named mildred and marge.
The movie started
and the rooster began to squirm.
He unbuttoned his fly so
chuck could stick his head out
and watch the movie.
"marge," whispered mildred.
"what?" said marge.
"i think the guy next to me
is a pervert."
"what makes you think so?" asked marge?
"he undid his pants and
he has his thing out", whispered mildred.
"well, don't worry about it", said marge.
"at our age we've seen 'em all"
"i thought so too", said mildred,
"but this one's eatin' my popcorn !!"
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