Why are NBC continually such twits?
I don't really care whether I'm a quitter, a switcher, or a freaking.... VAPE DEMON. I don't have an oxygen tank and that's what counts.
As far as methadone or suboxone, ask me anything. I worked at Hopkin's drug dependency unit when Suboxone was just getting going, and the doc in charge (who was scary smart) would SCOOP (censored) addicts off the street, near death, treat them inpatient, step them down to intensive outpatient and etc. And by the way, not all methadone/subox patients were addicts I would say conservatively 30-40 percent were kicked that way after being thrown out of pain management clinics because their opiate dose could go no higher. I'm talking killer spinal surgeries etc. They get kicked to long term treatment because they max out on opiates (that was more at the tribe where I also worked in the harm reduction clinic for a while.)
It can be extremely complicated care for some: back in Baltimore during the HIV epidemic, well more than half of our patients were positive, and maintaining balance was tough, because meds weren't as refined. Co-occurring disorders: PTSD, (big time) conduct disorder, mood disorders, anxiety disorders you name it. Shooting up becomes unpleasant. Social disorders: crime generally, theft, incarceration, hooking, all that lovely stuff.. Being a drug mule.
It was a lively job for me and I liked it a lot.. I was a 26 year old group therapist and the only one that was white. I got HAZED big time. I think they finally accepted I was as nuts as them when (you got kicked out of the program if you fought with another client, but if you hit a staff member that was an automatic jail sentence. I mean we were off campus, security guards, the whole bit. Anyway two of my favorite jailbirds were planning to fight, there were rumblings all morning about it. Of course they picked my group those (censored.)
Anyway I had mused on it a bit, and I knew they would leave, which I did not want. They didn't really want it either. But they both happened to be ex felons and did NOT want like, go back to jail of that I was CERTAIN.
So they went for it but the taser guys were slow so I leaped between them and waved my hands in the air and said "I AM STAFF! You are going to have to go through ME!!! You will go back to JAIL I MEAN IT I AM PRESSING CHARGES THE MINUTE I AM CONSCIOUS GO FOR IT!!!!!!!!"
Never have I seen two angry dudes back away from the crazy girl with the pigtails so fast and meekly, LOL. Never had a lick of trouble after that in fact both guys thanked me (privately obviously.) But yea, like, they were like "Okay, she is clearly as nuts as us," so it ended up fine.
It's not always that way. Plenty of opiate mommies in the suboxone (private) program I was in. Including me. My doc prescribed me an off label "synthetic" opiate for my treatment resistant depression (the literature swore up down and sideways it would not "addict me." Heh. Right.) So, I was on suboxone for about 9 years. l was stable and functional. I mainly did it as my final relapse I had NO CLUE how much Ultram I was taking so I couldn't detox m'self. I wish I had gone in to hospital detox because Suboxone works for functioning and all but I lost about 40 lbs I did not need to lose, and developed a horrifying constipation problem. The long acting opiates--- there is no up and down where you can "go." I am finally doing better with a ton of probiotics but THE TUMMY. LOL.
If I could go back and do it different I would. Because SUBOXONE is FINE but the half lives (once stacked up) are 96 DAYS. That is how long Suboxone takes to EXIT YOUR SYSTEM. . Granted, you aren't laying in bed groaning and puking for like, the ENTIRE time (for me pretty much the first month) but it wasn't exactly what I'd call a fantastic time.
Which is why I did something ELSE illegal and imported some IBOGANE. Frankly I was not going to go on the three day trip where someone watches you the whole time. It did not sound really SAFE especially with my bipolar. .But you can micro dose it for about 4 months and get the same effect-- it cleans out your opiate receptors something fierce. I did not have a single craving through 10 AWAKE oral surgeries where various titanium implants were BURIED into my bone.
It is always why I wear a no opiate bracelet. If I'm out, the husband gets to decide. But I am prepared to accept a fairly LARGE amount of pain compared to maintenance therapy. No THANKS.
IDK it worked for me for a time I needed it. Frankly I did not feel "clean" from opiates, but I did feel stable and functional. I could work. I could function. IDK if it caused brain damage, dude, it's kind of hard to tell with all the bipolar meds. I know I was a pretty smart kid and etc. But who knows. There are things I can do, and things I can't.
I don't really consider tobacco like "clean time" or whatever, as a substance . It has been so ubiquitous and addictive it's kind of like coffee for me.. You drinking decaf? Cool, I don't care.. Drinking High Test? Fine with me.
Just don't die . That's my motto. WHO CARES what you call you or who anyone else calls you. Just DON'T SMOKE..
Also, NBC I never watch you anymore. Sounds like a good thing.
Anna
Maintenance
