I think Enaud nailed the solution. Well half of the solution. The other half involves a fish pole and a reel and seeing if you can get her to follow the donut. Yeah, it's mean but it's what came to mind when dealing with this mean person.
Not that it happened, but how it happened
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Thanks for the reminder for how happy I am NOT to be in the workplace in this day and age!
Personally, not only do I find the response and attitude of this employee highly offensive and unacceptable, I am surprised at some of the responses here defending her actions and attitude.
Reminds me of back when that evil television first became popular. A good number of households had the antennae installed in their attic instead of on their roof for fear others might know they had one of "those things."
Personally, not only do I find the response and attitude of this employee highly offensive and unacceptable, I am surprised at some of the responses here defending her actions and attitude.
Reminds me of back when that evil television first became popular. A good number of households had the antennae installed in their attic instead of on their roof for fear others might know they had one of "those things."
Some people aren't comfortable with direct confrontation, and would rather not make a "scene." It's a lot easier to be calm and rational in an email; in the moment, people tend to get emotional and that can be uncomfortable for everyone involved. The way he went off on her here, can you imagine what he might have said to her face, if she had brought it up in person? I know I wouldn't want to be on the receiving end of that kind of treatment. The fact that she's overweight shouldn't have anything to do with whether or why she is uncomfortable being vaped at in an enclosed area. {Moderated} I don't see anything wrong with the email. She had a problem with his vaping, she told him so in a private communication. It seems to have had the desired effect of he won't be vaping around her anymore. The only "issue" I see here is that he decided to be an entitled little jerk about it, and come on here to rant because he thought that we, as vapers, would all automatically take his side. And for some of you, it seems to have worked. The rest of us took one look at the story and went "dude...chill."
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Sarcasm? God, I hope it's sarcasm. It's hard to tell on the internet, sometimes...
Reminds me of a friend's mother...
It's ok to vape in her car when she's not in it, but when we're at his house and she's home I have to walk down the street as "the vapor travels with the wind into the windows and floods the house, she don't want to inhail that toxic substance, please walk down the street"
Case and point of "its harmful if I see it!"
It's ok to vape in her car when she's not in it, but when we're at his house and she's home I have to walk down the street as "the vapor travels with the wind into the windows and floods the house, she don't want to inhail that toxic substance, please walk down the street"
Case and point of "its harmful if I see it!"
I don't vape anywhere that smoking isn't allowed. That policy has spared me untold drama.
The problem with this is that it typically makes things worse. If someone politely asks me not to vape around them I would honor their request. If the same person allows me to vape around them without bringing it up and then later sends an email saying they don't want me to vape around them, regardless of the words used it comes across as aggressive, which will put me on the defensive and now the whole thing escalates.
For the record, I don't think he should have been vaping while she was in his office in the first place without asking first if it bothered her. I'm not defending that. I'm merely saying that she helped create a hostile situation by approaching it the way she did.
Not an iota of sarcasm, dead serious. In the world I grew up in, subordinates never make demands of and dictate to superiors, period! The professional way of handling her concerns would be to take her objection to her supervisor and let him/her take it to the "offending" party, be it another manager or a co-worker, should her supervisor deem her objection valid.
First of all, I can understand your defensiveness. I really do, you had it good and got to do it for a while with no problems. I think that was lucky. Technically since smoking is not allowed in places of work anywhere, then vaping is technically not allowed. Simple.
Second, unless you own the building its really not your office. You are allowed to use it to work.
Again, I dont think her sending you an email was wrong. I can understand the not wanting to confront "in person" but her not speaking to you and scowling is troubling.
Maybe, just maybe she got wind of your reaction and defensive reaction and also maybe heard of your remark about the weight and felt hurt and upset.
I worked in offices and medical/hospital environment and believe me if anything happens and you say anything to anyone it WILL get out there like wildfire.
Like everyone said, she asked you to respect her worries and as an employee at any level she should feel safe and not feel afraid to ask for that.
I worked in a very typical hostile and stressful place for over 2 years. The politics and mind games did me in. At first I tried to take care of the issues in normal fashion. All that got me in the end was fear and terror. I did not realize it at the time, but my body and mind snapped one day and "im broken" now and damn, Im shaking now.
Again, try to see it at all angles. Think of what you may have said to anyone and think that she is a fellow human being and needs to feel safe and have the freedom just as you have to not like something and feel that she can speak her mind without repercussions.
Either you let it become a big issue or you just dont vape while anyone is in your office. Just like you said, she was only exposed to it for 15mins, on the other hand are you so not in control that you cant restrain your vaping for 15 mins?
Second, unless you own the building its really not your office. You are allowed to use it to work.
Again, I dont think her sending you an email was wrong. I can understand the not wanting to confront "in person" but her not speaking to you and scowling is troubling.
Maybe, just maybe she got wind of your reaction and defensive reaction and also maybe heard of your remark about the weight and felt hurt and upset.
I worked in offices and medical/hospital environment and believe me if anything happens and you say anything to anyone it WILL get out there like wildfire.
Like everyone said, she asked you to respect her worries and as an employee at any level she should feel safe and not feel afraid to ask for that.
I worked in a very typical hostile and stressful place for over 2 years. The politics and mind games did me in. At first I tried to take care of the issues in normal fashion. All that got me in the end was fear and terror. I did not realize it at the time, but my body and mind snapped one day and "im broken" now and damn, Im shaking now.
Again, try to see it at all angles. Think of what you may have said to anyone and think that she is a fellow human being and needs to feel safe and have the freedom just as you have to not like something and feel that she can speak her mind without repercussions.
Either you let it become a big issue or you just dont vape while anyone is in your office. Just like you said, she was only exposed to it for 15mins, on the other hand are you so not in control that you cant restrain your vaping for 15 mins?
And I guess THAT is why I never made it anywhere.
That Idea that anyone should or can be considered "less than" anyone really bugs me, always has.
I understand that when " the higher ups" make an appearance among the lowly "lowers" that they should get a certain amount of respect, but to treat some as less than worth giving respect to kills me.
I always treated EVERYONE I worked with the same.... CEOs, Company founders/ owners with the same repect and courtesy as the people in the cleaning or janitorial crew to the ones that maintained the electrical or not. All these people do their part to make the company and are all worthy of common courtesy as "people"
All this got me no where, because I refused to " kiss up to anyone " So Im nothing now. Its a stupid attitude but one that allows me to sleep at night.
I've worked in a corporate entity 35 years.
Old school=you're right.
PC school= she files a Grievance Claim & his job could be in jeopardy..
I guess at some point in the chain of command managers stop thinking of employees as people and start thinking of them as production units with no "god given rights". except for an occasional quick stealth vape in the mens room I don't vape anywhere smoking is prohibited when other people are around
Oh my. Some need to go over the rules of the forum: attack the post, not the poster.
Name calling is not tolerated.
The guy is allowed to vape in his office. A co-worker disliked that he did something out of habit.... I think we all understand what a habit is, yes?
I don't think it really bothered him too awfully much UNTIL she started to do the cold shoulder routine when he would say the simple word "Hi".
He did say that he was apologetic in the return email.
I would rather he rant here than at work
Name calling is not tolerated.
The guy is allowed to vape in his office. A co-worker disliked that he did something out of habit.... I think we all understand what a habit is, yes?
I don't think it really bothered him too awfully much UNTIL she started to do the cold shoulder routine when he would say the simple word "Hi".
He did say that he was apologetic in the return email.
I would rather he rant here than at work
I can see both sides really. Probably the best thing to do is only vape by your lonesome in your office as the uneducated and unwilling to be educated will be your harshest critics.
On the other side of things, the email stating she had no interest in discussing the issue would have perturbed me a bunch!!
Simple solution, if she can't be a reasonable human being and discuss it like an adult, I wouldn't give her the time of day, wouldn't even make eye contact.
Flexing her email muscles, bet she thought "I'll show him!"
On the other side of things, the email stating she had no interest in discussing the issue would have perturbed me a bunch!!
Simple solution, if she can't be a reasonable human being and discuss it like an adult, I wouldn't give her the time of day, wouldn't even make eye contact.
Flexing her email muscles, bet she thought "I'll show him!"
Amen to that !
Wow, I had completely forgotten about this. My Dad bought our first TV about 1955, the first in the neighborhood, and promptly installed a huge rotating antenna on the roof. There were neighbors complaining about the "radiation", prompted by sensational Sunday supplement articles foolishly comparing TV antennas to radar installations, because they "looked the same" ...
Sound familiar ?
But that didn't stop them from dropping by casually when "I Love Lucy" was coming on ...
Can't people just be civil to each other anymore? I understand her not wanting to be in the room while he was vaping, but geez, no reason to be an ...... about it. That email was incredibly confrontational. If we were all more civil about things we disagreed upon the world would be a better place.
FIrst off , groomt, love your avatar, love choleoptera/ beetles.
Many will think youre being unrealistic and sort of a "bleeding heart" Ive heard it all, from "dumb doormat" to just an idiot to think that.
My two life thoughts : people are no damn good and no good deed goes unpunished .
I get reminded of this everyday. I try not to and I forget and it gets kicked in my face daily. At the same time, if you let yourself see it, someone will throw that all out the door and I see there are some "good" ones out there.
Im still pessimistic and think on the whole people will do what they have to get by.
People through history have a need to feel above something or someone. In a work place its rare to be able to be honest and have trust in our fellow workers. ITs sad but its just the way it is for the most part.
I think the OP needs to look at this again, and maybe send her an "apologetic" email, not at all confrontive and not mentioning anything in regards to vaping, just a general "sorry if something was taken the wrong way, blah blah, you dont want hard feelings etc.
You two have to work with each other and rumors will continue to circulate and will escalate. To cover yourself you might talk to someone in HR and again, not admitting anything, just say that "this" happened and youre sorry if you forgot that vaping was a privilege for you and that blah , blah, blah.
At the least you will probably be told not to vape in the building, the worst can be that she sues the business for lack of protection to employees by them allowing you to vape where the law is.....
I hope it all works out and sorry that you will not be able to enjoy openly vaping in your works space.
It takes decades for the general public to be assured that something is not harmful, but thats how it is.
Until then, though we should not be banished to the dark corners of the earth to vape, at least indoors in public places we need to be careful.
Out side vaping is something that I feel no one should tread on. Its outside, full of toxins, exhaust, pollution, etc. If you can prove that smoking cigarettes outdoors is going to poison anyone more than all the other environmental toxins, PROVE IT to me with real data and I might say OK.....
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The part that would have hurt my feelings is her scowling at you in the hallway. She clearly has not moved on. Fire the {Moderated}
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