Not that it happened, but how it happened

[anavidfan]

The part that would have hurt my feelings is her scowling at you in the hallway. She clearly has not moved on. Fire the {Moderated}

Again, if he owned the company/building he might have some good cause, but that would only give her more ammo and if they fire anyone it would probably be the OP for breaking the law.
List of smoking bans in the United States - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

If he fired her the company would be liable for a great big lawsuit and they, no matter how much they LOVE him and his work, would let him go to cover their behinds.

BTW, I will not post any more here on this thread, its very aggressive and I see that its probably going to get very divided and ugly.

 

[N rustica]

I had to be civil and replied that I respect her wishes and will not do it around her, period. I assured her that it was simply a habitual mistake and was as friendly about it as humanly possible.

I think the OP needs to look at this again, and maybe send her an "apologetic" email, not at all confrontive and not mentioning anything in regards to vaping, just a general "sorry if something was taken the wrong way, blah blah, you dont want hard feelings etc. ....

You're right, he needs to grovel more

 

[anavidfan]

You're right, he needs to grovel more

No, LOL. he needs to cover his behind. Believe me, as you can see this thread is all about rights, his rights her rights, etc.

Im all for self esteem, as I said before, I dont kiss up to anyone, but sometimes one has to "get along"
Thats why I said not to mention the vaping or anything, just that he wants to apologize for any misunderstanding there might have been.

If she still gives him the cold shoulder then HE has something to hold against her. He needs to cover his behind or he might end up like me, a "nobody" that has nothing but her rights and self esteem but isolated and depressed.

I probably should have pretended to grovel at many times in my life and let my ego go down a notch but ....

Sorry I had to end up lying about not posting anymore, but I just had to make sure I was not being accused of trying to tell others to suck up and grovel.... NO ONE SHOULD GROVEL....

 

[MudVaper]

Hey all,
This is probably just a venting, but it really got my blood pressure up so I'm going to let it out.

I vape at work, in my office. I am an executive level employee, and none of my superiors have an issue with it. I personally believe it's 100% safe. I'm not a cloud chaser, or d-bag who blows it in people's faces or anything. I generally keep it in my own personal space.

There was a conference call where an employee chose to sit in my office instead of dialing in from their cube, because I can close the door and use speakerphone. After the call, which was only about 15 minutes, I get an email from that employee, here's basically what they said:

"First off, I do not want to debate you about this- I know you believe that vaping is safe, but I do not, and don't want to have a discussion about it. I would like to ask that when I'm in your office, that you respect my position and not vape around me because I believe it's dangerous and harmful to my health. Respect MY choices and don't vape when I'm in your office".

My first thought was that this person, who is so concerned about their health, might want to consider that their incredible obesity might be a far more immediate health concern than 15 minutes of minor second-hand vapor.. but of course, as a company figurehead, I had to be civil and replied that I respect her wishes and will not do it around her, period. I assured her that it was simply a habitual mistake and was as friendly about it as humanly possible. I got no response and now, when I say hello in the morning or whatever, she just scowls at me and says nothing. ...?

I know there's a lot of negative propaganda out there about vaping and vapers, and that people like her believe all of it, but my god.. seriously girl.. if you are THAT concerned about your health, I suggest you lay off the pringles and ice-cream FIRST, as I'm concerned about her health causing our group health policy to have higher prices to deal with her being obese.

Ok, rant done.

Great rant, Kabooma.

Take it for what it was folks, OP did not ask for your judgement or advise - just blowing off steam.

Frankly, I sympathize with the situation and see no need for all the unsolicited counter-points of view.

 

[N rustica]

No, LOL. he needs to cover his behind.

Exactly, the first person to schedule a sit down in HR will probably be the winner. I hope he takes that scowling in the hallway seriously, this smells like trouble.

 

[crxess]

Nope she works in a different department.. and that was part of the rub.. in the 1.2 years she's been here, that was the first time a cross-department conf call needed to happen with the two of us, and wasn't likely going to happen more than once a year or two thereafter.. so the need for an immediate email was non-existent, which just added to the blood-boiling part of my rant.

She's generally an abrasive person who I don't care for to begin with, but that's a whole other rant- lol. I just don't want to give her any ammo to go complain to HR and make a thing about it, and then lose my (assumed) privilege to vape in my office because some d-bag employee has an axe to grind.

I find that most people of that nature eventually move on. Save your hospitality for someone you can make feel appreciated.

 

[jdrewry]

To the OP:
Does your company have a policy about vaping in the workplace?

 

[Woofer]

I think the OP needs to look at this again, and maybe send her an "apologetic" email, not at all confrontive and not mentioning anything in regards to vaping, just a general "sorry if something was taken the wrong way, blah blah, you dont want hard feelings etc.

Oh my I'm going to be sick!

 

[NOVA jon]

You don't have to like somebody to work with them. If she wants to walk around all day giving you the stink eye, that's on her. You made your amends! If she wants to keep the tension, great! Overweight + stress usually doesn't pan out well!!

 

[Jingles]

She should be thanking you for providing one of the most germ free areas in the building! This is where the media has done a great disservice to the public at large. They could have chosen to educate the public about how the PG in vapor kills germs and actually makes any enclosed area cleaner! Many of us long-time vapors report getting less colds and illnesses in general. Even our families and people we vape around report less colds and flu. My family has experienced no ill affects from the almost 5 years that I've been vaping inside the house. I did smoke outside though for ten long, cold years before I started vaping.I am sick of fake(as in bothered by vapor) uneducated people having control over our freedom!

 

[mcclintock]

I think you shouldn't say anything unless you're sure it will make it better. Let the problem fade into the past, after all, you're in a gray area. ... Hopefully she doesn't take it to upper management. That would be "entitled" on her part in knowing that what you do doesn't affect her that much and yet she decides to make you stop just because she can.

Very few rules must be enforced every time. Most rules are IN CASE they're needed.

 

[pennysmalls]

This employee who sent the email is a passive aggressive chicken {Moderated}. If she was uncomfortable about the vaping then she was uncomfortable about it while it was happening yet she waits until she's hiding behind a computer screen to say something. Never mind that discussion on the "safer" issue, that's not what's wrong here. What's wrong is that she has no spine and now she's being a botch about it all to make herself look like she has a spine, classic low self esteem.

 

[LMS62]

Interesting thread, however, I'll try to reserve judgement as we are only getting one side of the story. Remember the old saying....there are two sides to every story, and the truth is usually in the middle.

 

[daviedog]

No, LOL. he needs to cover his behind. Believe me, as you can see this thread is all about rights, his rights her rights, etc.

Im all for self esteem, as I said before, I dont kiss up to anyone, but sometimes one has to "get along"
Thats why I said not to mention the vaping or anything, just that he wants to apologize for any misunderstanding there might have been.

If she still gives him the cold shoulder then HE has something to hold against her. He needs to cover his behind or he might end up like me, a "nobody" that has nothing but her rights and self esteem but isolated and depressed.

I probably should have pretended to grovel at many times in my life and let my ego go down a notch but ....

Sorry I had to end up lying about not posting anymore, but I just had to make sure I was not being accused of trying to tell others to suck up and grovel.... NO ONE SHOULD GROVEL....

You saved the best for last..

 

[leeler]

Not everyone is great with confrontation, nor is everyone good with conveying certain "tones" via email. If the op is that concerned he should pull his coworker aside for a private chat to clear the air. I am guessing that should this make its way to HR he will not come out the winner.

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[ckquatt]

Interesting thread, however, I'll try to reserve judgement as we are only getting one side of the story. Remember the old saying....there are two sides to every story, and the truth is usually in the middle.

Actually it's "there's 3 sides to every story. His side, her side, and the truth".




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[pennysmalls]

Not everyone is great with confrontation, nor is everyone good with conveying certain "tones" via email. If the op is that concerned he should pull his coworker aside for a private chat to clear the air. I am guessing that should this make its way to HR he will not come out the winner.

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I would venture a guess that she would love to see it go to HR, she's probably already having fantasies about that very thing. You can't pull someone aside who avoids direct communication to have a chat, she'll act like there's nothing wrong and make the OP feel like he's overreacting and make him feel like he's being confrontational. I've seen this behavior every single day for the past 23 years, in my house.

 

[leeler]

In your house? Wait, what?

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[Robino1]

This is a public service announcement.

Please do not try to get around the forum censors by using symbols instead of text. That is still not allowed.

Thanks!

Carry on........

 

[pennysmalls]

Yeah, that was me. I didn't realize using symbols to signify a bad word was avoiding the censor, sorry about that.