Not that it happened, but how it happened

[Robino1]

You're entitled to your beliefs, However, do you also believe you have the right to force your beliefs on others against their will?


I have another set of beliefs. I believe that if you want respect from others you have to show others respect. Any time you vape around others without giving them a choice in the matter you are failing to show them respect, at which point you should expect them to not show you respect. If you want them to respect your right to vape then you need to demonstrate the fact that you respect their right not to be exposed to it against their will.

No one ever earned respect by forcing their beliefs on others. More often than not that attitude is counterproductive, resulting in you losing your rights or privileges to act as you believe you should be able to. The fastest way to get vaping banned is by exposing others to your vaping against their will.

If I am able to vape by letting out very little to no vapor, am I then forcing my belief onto another person?

When I am vaping in a small space or in a public space, the vapor that is released, if there is any, dissipates before it leaves my personal space. Probably about the same as my breath does when I exhale. Is that still considered forcing my belief onto others?

Is just the action of putting something up to my mouth enough to cause someone to complain? Do they have the right to complain about an action that I am doing that they perceive to be wrong?

 

[skoony]

You're entitled to your beliefs, However, do you also believe you have the right to force your beliefs on others against their will?

I personally think yes. Why not as apparently it's perfectly fine for others
to force their beliefs on me. It also seems perfectly fine for people to speak
for every one else by using terms such as we,us and or others. Alas no one
has elected me so I will speak for myself.

Regards
Mike

 

[OlderNDirt]

Not an iota of sarcasm, dead serious. In the world I grew up in, subordinates never make demands of and dictate to superiors, period! The professional way of handling her concerns would be to take her objection to her supervisor and let him/her take it to the "offending" party, be it another manager or a co-worker, should her supervisor deem her objection valid.

And I guess THAT is why I never made it anywhere.

That Idea that anyone should or can be considered "less than" anyone really bugs me, always has.

I understand that when " the higher ups" make an appearance among the lowly "lowers" that they should get a certain amount of respect, but to treat some as less than worth giving respect to kills me.

I always treated EVERYONE I worked with the same.... CEOs, Company founders/ owners with the same repect and courtesy as the people in the cleaning or janitorial crew to the ones that maintained the electrical or not. All these people do their part to make the company and are all worthy of common courtesy as "people"

All this got me no where, because I refused to " kiss up to anyone " So Im nothing now. Its a stupid attitude but one that allows me to sleep at night.

Added my statement you quoted for completeness and clarity.

I guess your response points out how important interpretation is when receiving written information which is the main subject of this discussion. While I see my statement as pointing out the importance and necessity of implementing respect and professionalism in the work place, you see it as a confrontational bias based on some kind of workplace caste system. Evidently we disagree with which is healthier for a productive work environment.

 

[Bunnykiller]

Then you're a fool. It may be, yes, and probably is, yes, orders of magnitude safe-er than combustible tobacco cigarettes, but if you believe there is absolutely no risk of any harm whatsoever, not even the possibility of such a risk, then you, sir, have got your head in the sand.

Calling it "100% safe" is not a claim we can make about vaping. Not yet, anyway, and likely not ever. {Moderated}, and if someone is not comfortable with you vaping near them in an enclosed space, don't do it. It's common courtesy, if nothing else.

Id like to know what is 100% safe? name anything that is 100% safe... anything.... ( other than "nothing")

 

[Bunnykiller]

I re-read your post...

where in the world does she have the right to even demand that you shouldnt/cant do what you are allowed to do in your own office??? If she finds it offensive due to her uneducated beliefs... she can find another phone to listen in on the conference call...
sounds like this person is into power plays.... a controller...

next time when this has to occur ( conference calls) just let a few .... burps fly... if she complains, tell her its safe, its all natural....

 

[Ryedan]

Id like to know what is 100% safe? name anything that is 100% safe... anything.... ( other than "nothing")

Nothing isn't all that safe either. I tried it once and got bored after a little while. It's not safe when I get bored ... mind starts to wander ... no telling what I'll get into then

 

[Kabooma]

Hey folks-
No need to bash me or each other. This post was simply a rant, blowing of the steam. Let me clarify a few things and let's move on...

-I generally do try not to vape when others are in close quarters, meaning, in my office. It's MY office, and as a company exec, I am the higher management. I don't view others as 'lessers', but peers. I spent most of my life as the 'lesser' and never look at others that way.

-I mistakenly out of habit took a puff while on the call, it happened. It wasn't arrogant in nature.

-I responded to her with an apologetic and friendly manner, I assured her that I respected her opinion and wishes, and wouldn't do it again. I couldn't have written a calmer or better response.

-I spoke to nobody else about my annoyance over her approach. And it was absolutely her approach, and nothing else, that bothered me.

- The whole point about her being obese was simply what went through my head in the heat of typing my OP. It's irony at it's core that her biggest objection is absolutely at odds with her lifestyle habits, and speaks to hypocrisy as much as irony.

- I do strongly believe it's safe. Sure 100% may be a stretch, but I certainly believe it's better than the air quality we get when we sit in traffic both ways every day. But that's not really the point here.

- While I endeavor to never look down at people, regardless of their station in life, there is one exception- and that is miserable / abrasive people. I'm very laid back and happy, and when people bring in bad attitudes and unwanted drama, my tolerance of them is very thin. I spent most of my life around miserable people, and I just don't get them at all, and only want to be as far away from them as possible. Misery loves company.

The most unfortunate part of this situation is simply that now that she has 'leverage' over me about this vaping issue, it becomes a political problem if I ever attempt to address her attitude problem, even with her superiors or HR, because she can and will claim that I'm retaliating because she complained about me.

So now I get to walk on eggshells around her. While she scowls at me.

 

[Bunnykiller]

well heres a new way to look at it... maybe she is well aware of her present physical condition and knows that anything else she may be subjected to will kill her....

and ignore her scowls... only people she wont scowl at are the ones she has under her thumb....

 

[skoony]

So now I get to walk on eggshells around her. While she scowls at me.

Don't walk on eggshells. Give her the warmest,most pleasant appropriate greetings every time
you meet. Use that Sunday at church smile. The last thing you want to do is avoid or ignore
her. It will undercut your side of the story as in you avoid her because you wronged her.
Only someone guilty would do that. Treat it professionally. Something happened. Emails
were exchanged. It's over. Proceed with the regular schedule as if nothing had happened.
Besides it will drive her batty.
Regards
Mike

 

[haleysdadda]

The most unfortunate part of this situation is simply that now that she has 'leverage' over me about this vaping issue, it becomes a political problem if I ever attempt to address her attitude problem, even with her superiors or HR, because she can and will claim that I'm retaliating because she complained about me.

IMHO all you can do is treat her like everyone else, with respect! The other thing you can do is make it a habit not to vape when anyone else is in your office! See where i work you must smoke or vape at least 25' from the building yet I usually I vape at my desk from 6-6:30 AM because I'm the only one there! When the first person walks into the office (even if they don't GAF) or 6:25 hits I put my vape away until 9AM break! I do this because if I don't put it away I've actually caught myself starting to take a vape with my boss standing next to me! I'm bringing this up because it came to my mind that if you had to think about getting your vape it might help you be aware of the situation & only vape when appropriate! I know since I started putting my vape I haven't had any close calls!
As far as the other as the employee goes just keep treating her properly & let it go! If you still let her attitude bother you she owns you & NOBODY owns me! Maybe feel bad for her because she has let one mistake on your part to partially disrupt her life or don't because you have no control of that only she does!

 

[NOVA jon]

I think you said before you really don't have to interact with her because she is in another department but you do happen to see her from time to time?????

Not sure I would treat her with kid gloves whatsoever!! She is the one that fired of the confrontational email, you returned with a nice apologetic email. In my opinion (I know, I know) she should be the one with the most to lose!

Before the advent of email, one would generally be required to actually have to, oh I don't know, actually bring a problem to that person face to face??!!

Why is it so simple to fire off an email????? Because it requires very little effort with maximum attitude!!

Keyboard cowards will always hide behind their monitors like a shield!! Blows my mind!!

I'm sure that if she had come to you right away, or even mentioned it to you casually in passing, both you and she would have been able to cut to the chase, apologies would have been made, probably laughed a little and a mutual respect would have been forged. Instead, it's a fricking smoke show so to speak and you think she has the upper hand and she is walking around like she owns the joint!

Torques me to no end that people play those mind games! This mindset will cripple hardworking people and enable crybabies!!

 

[Asbestos4004]

Was her name Andria?

 

[haleysdadda]

Was her name Andria?

Not fair to use somebody's name when she's not here to speak up for herself!

 

[Asbestos4004]

Not fair to use somebody's name when she's not here to speak up for herself!

Ummm....thanks for sharing.

 

[Douggro]

So now I get to walk on eggshells around her. While she scowls at me.

Had no issues with your rant; you advertised up front what it was. Lesser people jump up on their soap box and pontificate about their upset to rally the "me-too's" to their call.

Give up on walking on eggshells around this person. Ignore the scowl. (I have a built-in scowl - just ask my family.)
It's the whole passive-aggressive game, and you're being sucked in by it.
Give it up. Let it go. Move on. Be happy.

 

[Douggro]

Was her name Andria?

In the spirit of "attack the post, not the poster" can you explain how that comment is even marginally pertinent, relevant or even remotely funny?

 

[Racehorse]

lay off the pringles and ice-cream FIRST

Just buy her chocolates and donuts, lots of them

Actually, I wouldn't allow her in my office at all......Want to keep my chairs intact. Ha!

I'm not gonna bother quoting all the rest, this is downright embarassing.

Many of you have turned this into a "make fun of fat people" thread.......vapers who desire understanding and tolerance from others?

And you pulled out ALL the disgraceful generalizations about how fat people are fat because they eat too much.....

.......maybe this person has a metabolic disorder.

Next there will be posts about how fat people are lazy, etc. I'm sure.

I'm disgusted by what I am reading here. You guys have behaved shamefully, the arrogance is unreal.....and you probably don't really deserve the tolerance or understanding of others because you refuse to give it out yourself.

These comments sound like stuff 3rd graders say.

I am helping 2 friends at my gym who want to be slim like me....they don't eat a lot. There are other things that are specific to their bodies that make their goals a lot harder to reach.

No of course I didn[t come here to rant about her weight

REALLY? Then WHY did you bring it into the conversation in the first place?

Obviously, instead of dealing with the matter at hand, (your vaping and an employee being against it) you CHOSE to bring her weight into the conversation, which has NADA to do with the situation. None at all.

If she had bad teeth, or thinning hair, you would have made fun of her for that. Not very adult.

I do find it rather humorous that she is described as passive aggressive after seeing some of the comments on her weight here though.

If this is the way "executive" level employees problem-solve, I'd say there's some distinct lack of training or experience or personal growth going on here.

 

[ENAUD]

on second thought, never mind...

 

[Judge Dredd]

Please make sure your posts are civil in nature and are not subtle attempts at insulting others because those attempts are also against the rules and will be dealt with in the same manner.

Thank you

 

[Rabbit Slayer]

Why not just fire them for being an ...?