Plea for peace

[BengalBacker]

Hey Di, that was beautifully written and I totally, totally understand your sentiment. Too bad it really wasn't that easy though...treat someone with kindness and they'll reciprocate? I just think there's some people that is never going to work with.

You see...it's the 'bad apples' that really ruin it for the majority of people....and that is the same in real life as it is online. No matter where you go, you will always find a group of 'malcontents' who just can't stand to see harmony and peace. Their only goal in life is to stir up trouble and cause other people the same misery they themselves harbor. Sad...but true....you can find them anywhere.

ECF as a whole went through a rough period for a bit not too long ago but as you can see, once we got rid of the 'bad apples', we were able to work on restoring peace to the forum once again....and we have come back even stronger....with over 15,000 members and over 5,000 active ones.

IMO, the secret is not to succumb to their tactics...to basically tell the trolls to get lost....and if necessary, solicit the help of Admin. We went from a forum fraught with unnecessary wars, troublemakers, pot stirrers, insulters, etc to a great group of people here who are overall friendly and helpful. That is the sort of forum this was meant to be....and I think the GG forum has the same goals in mind.

So...as you have seen...you can't stop the trolls from coming in to start trouble....but there are means to get rid of them. Meanwhile....keeping track of your goals....sticking together 'when the going gets tough'....weathering the storm together....will get you through it all...and you will be stronger than you were before...and closer.

OK, enough said...lol. I'm really glad to see things calmed down here and glad to see Rejoice back too!

Maybe some others will come back...maybe they won't. But just like in real life, if they don't, then you go on with what you have....and make the best of it. Afterall, you can't please all of the people all of the time

Best wishes all!

Lu

Not here to troll, and I agree with the "can we all just get along" sentiment, but I see a little revisionist history going on in this and a reluctance to accept any personal responsibility for things that have occurred.

I wasn't involved in any of it, just a sideline observer, but what I witnessed was iron fist tactics used against some of the people who were the BIGGEST contributors to this forum, when reason and compromise would have been the better way to handle things.

I think an apology from you, Lu, might go a long way toward healing wounds, if that's truly what you're interested in. As a long time admin of a different kind of board that also gets heated from time to time, I've learned that a good moderator is usually one you barely notice. One who diffuses situations, rather than squash longtime members like a bug. Moderating is a thankless job that isn't always easy, but having that power doesn't mean "never having to say you're sorry".

JMHO

 

[Chrissie]

Stormy, Vince & rejoice are right, I should have added that you also need to read it from bottom to top.

Hope no one minds me adding this poem by Rudyard Kipling that has always meant a lot to me. I'm sure you have all seen it before but it does just seem so appropriate

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!

 

[ZambucaLu]

Not here to troll, and I agree with the "can we all just get along" sentiment, but I see a little revisionist history going on in this and a reluctance to accept any personal responsibility for things that have occurred.

I wasn't involved in any of it, just a sideline observer, but what I witnessed was iron fist tactics used against some of the people who were the BIGGEST contributors to this forum, when reason and compromise would have been the better way to handle things.

I think an apology from you, Lu, might go a long way toward healing wounds, if that's truly what you're interested in. As a long time admin of a different kind of board that also gets heated from time to time, I've learned that a good moderator is usually one you barely notice. One who diffuses situations, rather than squash longtime members like a bug. Moderating is a thankless job that isn't always easy, but having that power doesn't mean "never having to say you're sorry".

JMHO

An apology? LOL And for what?

And I'd pretty much say...don't count on it

Lu

 

[BengalBacker]

An apology? LOL And for what?

And I'd pretty much say...don't count on it

Lu

Not the response I was hoping for. I guess you handled everything perfectly, and pride is the most important thing here.

 

[Stormynights]

Thanks it makes more sense to me now.

 

[ZambucaLu]

Not here to troll, and I agree with the "can we all just get along" sentiment, but I see a little revisionist history going on in this and a reluctance to accept any personal responsibility for things that have occurred.

I wasn't involved in any of it, just a sideline observer, but what I witnessed was iron fist tactics used against some of the people who were the BIGGEST contributors to this forum, when reason and compromise would have been the better way to handle things.

I think an apology from you, Lu, might go a long way toward healing wounds, if that's truly what you're interested in. As a long time admin of a different kind of board that also gets heated from time to time, I've learned that a good moderator is usually one you barely notice. One who diffuses situations, rather than squash longtime members like a bug. Moderating is a thankless job that isn't always easy, but having that power doesn't mean "never having to say you're sorry".

JMHO

Ah I see now....it's BengalBacker from the Den of Iniquity.

Don't start trolling to cause trouble here BB....this is a peaceful thread....no need to bring it down to any other level. Please move along.

Lu

 

[ZambucaLu]

Stormy after reading this. Go to the botton and start reading upwards.

OMG...thanks for pointing that out Rejoice! That is just beautiful!

Lu

 

[Crash]

YouTube - MADtv - Dixie Chicks - I Will Never Apologize

lmao

 

[BengalBacker]

Ah I see now....it's BengalBacker from the Den of Iniquity.

Don't start trolling to cause trouble here BB....this is a peaceful thread....no need to bring it down to any other level. Please move along.

Lu

I never troll to cause trouble. Everything I said came from the heart, and I believe to be true.

I won't comment any further though, I said what I wanted to say and I truly do wish the wars would end. If you think you are completely without fault, there's nothing more I can say. If your pride won't allow you to admit your part, then the chances of peace are slim. That certainly is not intended as a threat, just a sad realization.

 

[ZambucaLu]

I never troll to cause trouble. Everything I said came from the heart, and I believe to be true.

I won't comment any further though, I said what I wanted to say and I truly do wish the wars would end. If you think you are completely without fault, there's nothing more I can say. If your pride won't allow you to admit your part, then the chances of peace are slim. That certainly is not intended as a threat, just a sad realization.

Thanks for sharing. Bye bye now!

Lu

 

[emberl]

RED MARBLES

I was at the corner grocery store buying some early potatoes. I noticed a small boy, delicate of bone and feature, ragged but clean, hungrily appraising a basket of freshly picked green peas.

I paid for my potatoes but was also drawn to the display of fresh green peas. I am a pushover for creamed peas and new potatoes.
Pondering the peas, I couldn't help overhearing the conversation between Mr. Miller (the store owner) and the ragged boy next to me.

'Hello Barry, how are you today?'

‘H’lo, Mr. Miller. Fine, thank ya. Jus' admirin' them peas. They sure look good.'

'They are good, Barry. How's your Ma?'

'Fine.. Gittin' stronger alla' time.'

'Good. Anything I can help you with?'

'No, Sir. Jus' admirin' them peas.'

'Would you like to take some home?' asked Mr. Miller.

'No, Sir. Got nuthin' to pay for 'em with.'

'Well, what have you to trade me for some of those peas?'

'All I got's my prize marble here.'

'Is that right? Let me see it' said Miller..

'Here 'tis. She's a dandy.'

'I can see that. Hmmmmm, only thing is this one is blue and I sort of go for red. Do you have a red one like this at home?' the store owner asked.

'Not zackley but almost..'

'Tell you what. Take this sack of peas home with you and next trip this way let me look at that red marble'.. Mr. Miller told the boy.

'Sure will. Thanks Mr. Miller.'

Mrs. Miller, who had been standing nearby, came over to help me.. With a smile she said, 'There are two other boys like him in our community, all three are in very poor circumstances. Jim just loves to bargain with them for peas, apples, tomatoes, or whatever. When they come back with their red marbles, and they always do, he decides he doesn't like red after all and he sends them home with a bag of produce for a green marble or an orange one, when they come on their next trip to the store..'

I left the store smiling to myself, impressed with this man. A short time later I moved to Colorado, but I never forgot the story of this man, the boys, and their bartering for marbles.

Several years went by, each more rapid than the previous one. Just recently I had occasion to visit some old friends in that Idaho community and while I was there learned that Mr. Miller had died.

They were having his visitation that evening and knowing my friends wanted to go, I agreed to accompany them. Upon arrival at the mortuary we fell into line to meet the relatives of the deceased and to offer whatever words of comfort we could.

Ahead of us in line were three young men. One was in an army uniform and the other two wore nice haircuts, dark suits and white shirts...all very professional looking. They approached Mrs. Miller, standing composed and smiling by her husband's casket. Each of the young men hugged her, kissed her on the cheek, spoke briefly with her, and moved on to the casket.

Her misty light blue eyes followed them as, one by one; each young man stopped briefly and placed his own warm hand over the cold pale hand in the casket. Each left the mortuary awkwardly, wiping his eyes.

Our turn came to meet Mrs. Miller. I told her who I was and reminded her of the story from those many years ago and what she had told me about her husband's bartering for marbles. With her eyes glistening, she took my hand and led me to the casket.

'Those three young men who just left were the boys I told you about. They just told me how they appreciated the things Jim 'traded' them. Now, at last, when Jim could not change his mind about color or size.....they came to pay their debt.'

'We've never had a great deal of the wealth of this world,' she confided, 'but right now, Jim would consider himself the richest man in Idaho.'

With loving gentleness she lifted the lifeless fingers of her deceased husband. Resting underneath were three exquisitely shined red marbles.

The Moral: We will not be remembered by our words, but by our kind deeds. Life is not measured by the breaths we take,
but by the moments that take our breath....

Today I wish you a day of ordinary miracles ~ A fresh pot of coffee you didn't make yourself...An unexpected phone call from an old friend...Green stoplights on your way to work....The fastest line at the grocery store...A good sing-along song on the radio...Your keys found right where you left them.


IT'S NOT WHAT YOU GATHER, BUT WHAT YOU SCATTER THAT TELLS WHAT KIND OF LIFE YOU HAVE LIVED

 

[truelove]

Did stormy read it bottom to top???

 

[Stormynights]

Did stormy read it bottom to top???

Yes I did True, thank you it was very good. I really appreciate it.

 

[Spikey]

vapor trail:

We can only accomplish one big miracle a week.. and we have already made peace of a bad situation this weekend.

Someday there will be peace and Lu will join us in the real fight against the real bad guys... she will come to the NY vapers club meeting and vape with us and eat with us and we will all work TOGETHER to protect our rights to use our PV's.

Until then... she will live in her world with her rose colored glasses and we will pray for her to take them off and see the light so there can be peace between us and we can all start to work together to accomplish our collective goals.

Sorry Lu for stepping into your territory... just wanted you to know where we stand... we do hope for peace someday. You are always welcome to join us on "the other side".

 

[ZambucaLu]

Well thanks for the invite Spikey...I'll keep it in mind. But if you really want 'peace', maybe you can keep some of your members from coming over here just to start trouble....and creating multiple identities to do so? They have made it obvious they don't like Imeo...so why come to his forum just to badger him? Don't they denigrate him enough on your fourm? Doesn't sound very peace-promoting to me.

If you really want peace, instead of praying for me, I suggest you clean up your own backyard first....that would be cool...then maybe I could step out of the picture here?

Until then, I won't.

Lu

 

[Spikey]

Well thanks for the invite Spikey...I'll keep it in mind. But if you really want 'peace', maybe you can keep some of your members from coming over here just to start trouble....and creating multiple identities to do so? They have made it obvious they don't like Imeo...so why come to his forum just to badger him? Don't they denigrate him enough on your fourm? Doesn't sound very peace-promoting to me.

If you really want peace, instead of praying for me, I suggest you clean up your own backyard first....that would be cool...then maybe I could step out of the picture here?

Until then, I won't.

Lu

Seriously.. I truly appreciate your situation and I am sorry there is not much I can do to "control" members actions. The most I can do is ask. Usually if I PM someone and ask them to not instigate things they back off out of respect, but you asking everyone to "move along" and closing threads/deleting posts has left many members with things they wanted to say, but were unable to. So they try to come here to say them because they feel they were censored and need closure.

Maybe you deleted the posts where there was attacking and insults in this thread... I did not see any so I don't know. I saw someone tryign to express their thoughts to you since you were in this thread and trying to make peace.

I can completely understand being defensive since many attack the way you do things here.. but sometimes it pays off to keep an open mind and see things for what they are instead of automatically feeling attacked.

I do not mean this in a negative way... but more people feel pity than anger for you because you are not always aware of how the things you do affect others and the way they see it.. you don't really care. It might benefit you to see things through others eyes for a short time and wonder how they feel being "deleted" or censored as if they are unimportant or irrelevant and their feelings don't matter. That causes frustration which in turn instills anger in people.

Might we move these last few posts somewhere else to have this conversation? I don't want to take dikerry's thread off topic or disturb Imeo's subforum.

(Hi bunny! We miss you over there!)

 

[ZambucaLu]

Seriously.. I truly appreciate your situation and I am sorry there is not much I can do to "control" members actions. The most I can do is ask. Usually if I PM someone and ask them to not instigate things they back off out of respect, but you asking everyone to "move along" and closing threads/deleting posts has left many members with things they wanted to say, but were unable to. So they try to come here to say them because they feel they were censored and need closure.

Maybe you deleted the posts where there was attacking and insults in this thread... I did not see any so I don't know. I saw someone tryign to express their thoughts to you since you were in this thread and trying to make peace.

I can completely understand being defensive since many attack the way you do things here.. but sometimes it pays off to keep an open mind and see things for what they are instead of automatically feeling attacked.

I do not mean this in a negative way... but more people feel pity than anger for you because you are not always aware of how the things you do affect others and the way they see it.. you don't really care. It might benefit you to see things through others eyes for a short time and wonder how they feel being "deleted" or censored as if they are unimportant or irrelevant and their feelings don't matter. That causes frustration which in turn instills anger in people.

Might we move these last few posts somewhere else to have this conversation? I don't want to take dikerry's thread off topic or disturb Imeo's subforum.

(Hi bunny! We miss you over there!)

If people are genuinely interested in owning a GG, this is certainly the place for questions. As you well know, none of those members who came here were here because they had a genuine interest in the GG. The Imeo bashing thread started on your forum....then once they get riled up....they come over here to stir the pot. In many cases, due to time changes...Imeo was in bed....he wasn't even here to answer anything...then he has to wake up to that.

Why should he be allowed to be harrassed on his own forum? If people have a problem with me, they are free to PM me. Vapor trail didn't need to come in here...on the peace thread, no less....to offer his opinions which contributed absolutely nothing constructive to the thread.

The people here do not want this kind of stuff here. They want peace to enjoy what they have here. So why bother them? As I see it, nobody from here is coming to your forum and starting crap. Yours are the ones that need to get a grip....not the members here.

And you tell Dikerry you miss her over there? Are you serious? Have you seen the things your 'upstanding members' have said about her? It's appalling! Why would she go over to endure that type of treatment? I felt so bad for her one night I wish I could have physically reached right out to her. I was there for her through PM instead.

You said:

I do not mean this in a negative way... but more people feel pity than anger for you because you are not always aware of how the things you do affect others and the way they see it.. you don't really care. It might benefit you to see things through others eyes for a short time and wonder how they feel being "deleted" or censored as if they are unimportant or irrelevant and their feelings don't matter. That causes frustration which in turn instills anger in people.

Well Spikey, maybe you should take a good hard look at how those vile insults made on your forum effect others too....innocent people who have never tried to start trouble at your place....yet who have been the target of the worse abuse I have ever seen online. That is better than being 'deleted'? That's how your members relate.....they are hateful and speak with malice....whereas these people just want to be left alone. Who is to be pitied here? And who really needs to see things through other peoples' eyes?

Lu

 

[Rainy]

Thanks for the story Emberl, that certainly helps with perspective.
Appreciate it...FloridaRaindrop

 

[ZambucaLu]

Sorry guys! Please go forward with this thread.

Any further comments for me should be PM'd so this doesn't get further derailed.

Sorry again...and thanks.
Lu

 

[BengalBacker]

Ok, here's a comment to the original poster.

I agree it's a shame there is no peace between the boards.

**sigh**

Everyone, feel free to review every post I have ever made both here and at VF. I am not a troublemaker. I don't stir the pot.

I have been a member of this board much longer than VF has even existed.

The original post in this thread was exactly what it was titled. A plea for peace. The moderator's response contributed absolutely nothing constructive to the thread.

Mine did.

I offered a possible solution to help the cause of the original poster's intentions. I tried to do it respectfully, but honestly. I'm not saying it's all the moderator's fault, I'm saying if she offered an olive branch, it could help the situation. That's all.

Now this post is definitely on topic and respectful. Will it be deleted too?