I am soo sorry- I can tell you from expeirience, its VERY hard. our home burned and we lost everything- some rooms there was nothing but ashes, and some rooms you could find a small peice of something you could identify.
The best thing for me was to get to sift
through it all- People kept making me leave. I wasnt clinging to it, freaking out or anything- I never shed a tear. but I was working, digging, and it was theraputic. But everyone thought they knew what was best for me- and just wanted me to let go. and it wasnt long before my husband bulldozed the remains- I am still not happy with that, because I KNEW then and STILL know now that I could have found SOMETHING else.
Some things I did keep, they were mangled, and twisted, and melted. BUT you knew what they were- Some of them I still have, other things I have managed to toss- at the time, I rescued EVERYTHING- Now that I am rebuilding my possesions I can let go of some of it.
It is a very hard thing to happen. I didnt loose my pets or children, other than the fish
tanks. so I cant address that part, but I will sure pray for her and you- its a very long road.