I have decided that extinguishing the behavior will work best. This will require a place for me to go (possibly with a bag, although I will ADMIT I have no desire to stay at the Motel 6 just outside of Douglas.... that's a lie actually I am DEEPLY interested in who and what will be there but since a gun seems like a bad idea, I may require some mace....) I am going to start with 30 minute increments. Then go up from there. There will be no outgoing phone calls after a yelling episode he is going to have to ah, "deswell" himself, and call ME. When he asks why I have not called, I will sweetly state, "I'm sorry, I was waiting for you to become a human being again and since you are NOT apparently doing it on your own, I am ACCELERATING the time frame so how are you honey?"
I'm afraid he's in the unfortunate position that if things go south, his life gets worse. Mine doesn't.
I think part of the problem is like, right now, we are both stressed out. But the yelling, it's gotten to be too much. He's going to have to man up. I refuse to be yelled at ANY more. I get paid to be yelled at all day sometimes, I am NOT coming home to it.
I mean I will thank him and reward him for not yelling and I get he hurts all over, but if he can NOT yell at the 7-11 clerk, he can NOT yell at me.
Extinguishing a behavior with a kid is super easy, you got the POWAH, but with an adult it's more annoying. However, the time has come. I have two goals: die happy in Douglas and b) not get yelled at for having thoughts, feelings and the desire to discuss them with my life partner which appears to need some FOCUSED inattention before he gets here for reals.
He was doing well; he is decompensating. It will stop. Otherwise, I'm getting a divorce. In the short term it will hurt worse, but I am DONE after today. I refuse to live like this. It's too.... STUPID.
Anna