PV and Atty Abuse Reporting Thread

[Eekaa Chu]

Your honor! The defense objects to Ms. PM's outburst! It is crude, biased and uncalled for....

Not to mention that no one has any idea what it says! (I see that she has since covered her tracks...are we going to see you in this court soon ms. Pm?)

I find her mockery of this court offensive....

***looks around***

Has anyone seen my cat?

***cell phone ringing***

Begging your pardon your honor, I need to take this....

Hello.....What?....boniegirl?

You're where? ......... You did what? ........Ms. Walker too.....oh, they wouldn't let you bring her to jail with you.....

in public huh? .........yes, uh huh.......The black ones with the pink lace? ......on the bar....Bonnie!

Please excuse me your honor. My partner has gotten herself thrown in the clink....er um that is, she is indisposed and needs my immediate assistance...

***Grabs briefcase and runs from courtroom....voice echoing down the hallway***

Does anyone know a good bail bondsman???

 

[DLite]

****NOW OPEN*****
DLites bailbond sevice

Open round the clock
Call 1-800-ImScrewed for questions you may have

Quick service outta jail payments accepted Pv's and juice

 

[Eekaa Chu]

***pulls out cell phone and dials***

Yes bailbonds? Hi, I need to have someone broken....er...bailed out of the hooskow...um...clink....jail

How much? Uh huh.....mmm....yes....that much huh? 2 egos, a chuck and 300mls of FSUSA? Steep.....

Bonniegirl, you owe me big time for this one.......

Do you accept pink PVs? Might have a scratch or 2 (from the bushes)...a few cat hairs (perfectly harmless)...overall in good shape

I'll get back to you on the juice.....and the chuck.....

Excuse me......

 

[Eekaa Chu]

***Cheesy carnival type music and the lights flash on to reveal a large glittering stage in the center of the courtroom***

Welcome all ladies, gentleman and all the rest to the First Annual (she better not make a habit of this) Bail Bonniegirl Out of Jail Pledgeathon!

We will have some fabulous entertainment for you all tonight with appearences by:

Bianca and her fabulous box!

Loxy Woxy the Dancing Bear!

PoP (goes the weasel?)

Judge Dlite and his Jury-shop quartet!

Plus..special appearences by:

Mistress Missy

Hunting instructions by boB

The wild and Untamed rose

Keyzy and her jangling keys of delight (no, not that dlite...you know, delightful?....oh never mind!)

and many many more!!!

Don't miss this one folks! We will be accepting pledge posts of FSUSA liquids untill 12 am November 14 in an attempt to free our beloved bonniegirl from the latest mess she has gotten herself into.....

So, don't hesitate, get your pledges in early, and receive a 100% cotton, limited edition...Bonnie Got Saved T-Shirt!

Thank you ladies and gentlemen for your support!

***cheesy carnival music and fade to black***

 

[bonniegirl]

*OMG...guess I will play along with this tomfoolery.....ugh...the things one will do for jolli.....uhmmm....justice*

(Heard from the courthouse holding cell.......shrieking, sobbing, mournful, pleading and well...horrid...simply horrid conditions)


EEEEEKKKKKAAAAACCCHHHUUUU!!!!...*shut up you scum prisoner....no God bless you is necessary, it IS her name...it is!*.....get me out of this horrid place...why the roaches and the rats and would you believe......sob, sniffle....sob.....SQUIRRELS...and remnants of cat hair and an old pair of shoddy boots that some trani has taken to.
*get away from me this minute...no I do not think you are cute!*.....EEka...this is all your fault.....left me while you were cavorting with that MONTGOMERY woman....that ...uhhmm...well.....she is trouble! The swinging.....*sob, sniffle, hic......gasp*

Guard! Please tell this woman?...uhmm...man?....uhmm....person?....I do not want her commissary rations and need nothing "put on my books".....GET AWAY from me....I am old enough to be your mother!....*old as dirt actually*....no.....I don't care for any "hooch".....*whispers in a low tone....what to hell is hooch?*.....homemade wine?...well....uhhmm.....from apple juice, sugar and a bit of yeasted bread?.....OMG.....Wine? well what year is it, from what region?.....OOOHHH....three days? *Is that a new way to label wines?*
EEEKKKAAA help me...I am not accustomed to such lack of common decent facilities. The toilet tissue is little squares of ..well...uhhmm....SANDPAPER...and well.....I am already dried up enough!.....And....NO BIDET!....how is a proper woman supposed to cleanse herself? Last I remember...Ms Walker and I were working on a case....yeah a case and well....when Ms Walker was empty.....out.....drained....YES....drained of good ideas....Mr Lox offered me a ride home and well...the lollis and the mango flavored e-liquid and the aroma of freshly stewed potpie...and well those beautiful flannel PJs...they were sooo lovely.....they had an interesting print, I believe....well....he offered me a beautiful silk nightie to borrow and asked if I would like to take a nice stroll through his estate and well...last I remember...he also had a secretary named Ms Walker...though much wider in girth...and well....I woke up here in the pokey with a ...uhmmm...ahem...woman...uhhmm...man?....SOMEONE real scary.... smelling my neck and well....THIS IS so horrid!

Make a motion or ask for bail reduction or *sell yourself for Gods sake...whatever it takes*....GET ME OUT OF HERE...or I will tell your dirty little secrets...I will....all of them......yes....that one you are thinking about........I am your senior partner and demand that you do something.

*falls in fetal position and sobs*.....This is horrid....simply horrid....it is...it is

 

[lynleestar]

I can pledge 20mls of Hypnotic Mist~!

 

[BiancaMontgomery]

Trouble?? I'M trouble?? Who's in the big house babe?? Not me (this time)! I'll be taking my "fabulous box" (thank you Bless You darling, bushes in 10) and taking it where it's more appreciated! Good luck sister! , call me trouble this is ridiculous Grrrrrrr.

 

[Eekaa Chu]

Thank you so much for your kind pledge Ms. Star. Unfortunately our main attraction has been offended....er scared off.....um Well she is otherwise engaged, sooo.

The pledgeathon is cancelled

***music scratches off ***

Now what the heck am I gonna do....

***pacing back and forth in deep thought*** what to do, what to do?

Sell myself? Hmmm.....wonder if there'd be any takers on that one? no..No....NO!

Bonnie you've made a huge mess here, and now you've scared off the talent! I have no doubt whatsoever that you were coerced my one Mr. L.O.X. However, even under the influence of Ms. Walker and her black label...er dress, I would think you possessed the decorum and wits to avoid his advances. Honestly!

***clicks down the hall to the holding cells***

Pardon me sir or madam...or whatever you are.....Might I persuade you to unhand my partner for a brief moment?

What? You want my shoes? Well...I'm quite certain they won't fit you.....hey....HEY!!! leggo my ankle! Ack!!! Helllllp!!! Bonnie! Hit it with the bread they served you for lunch! It's hard enough to take it down! Good lord! We gotta get you out of here!

Excuse me jailer! OWWW! IT bit me!!! Has this thing been properly vaccinated?!! I demand my partner be moved to a different holding area......and I plan to sue!

Ohhhh that really smarts.....***limping back down the hall*** Hang on Bonniegirl, I'll have you out of there in no time. Don't drink the water!

***Limps back into the courtroom***

Your honor, I would like to petition the court for a reduction in bail for one Ms. Bonniegirl...I know this is not generally your branch of the justice system. However, I feel that you know ms. bonniegirl, and her excellent record as a defense attorney, vaper, and human being. She is being held hotage in absolutely horrid, just horrid...and that's a quote...conditions, and is at this moment being molested by a person of questionable sexual identity!

Please your honor, help end this suffering, and restore this court back to full service.....

Now if you'll excuse me....I think I need a tetanus shot.......

***limps from courtroom***

ow...owww...oww ow wowowowowwwwwiee

 

[bonniegirl]

*sob...sniffle....boo and hoo ....snobble...sniffle.......another few boos and hoos.....blows nose on squares of pseudo-toilet tissue and places in bra.......sniffle, sob.....oh woe is me.......our fathers....hail Marys....wait...I am not Catholic.........boo and hoo and .....oh Dear Jesus, I am like Daniel.......against this Lions Den of iniquity......boo and hoo and well.....this is horrid...simply horrid.....hey....get away from me!...DO NOT TOUCH ME...you....uhmm...you.....well....you! Do not touch me....no, I do not want to play cards or dice or any other thing with you...you....people!.....Boo Hooo......sob, sniffle....pulls tissue from bra and blows nose and causes hole in tissue and mucous runs down arm.......oh.....dear....soiled....I am soiled for life......HELP!!!! I beg for mercy on my Brooks Brothers perfect wrinkle free blouse and Evan Piccone suite.....I will fire that Ms. Walker...I will....God have mercy on my Jimmy Choos....PLEASE.....I ask all this in the name of all that is good and kind and wonderful....boo...hoo...sniffle....slobber....tears and sniffles and more boos and hoos...this is horrid....simply horrid...it is...it is....it is....


Eeka!!!! Do Something...pull a cat....uhmm...a rabbit out of your hat....do a slight of hand.....you know one kitty in hand is worth two in the bush? How about a nice raise in pay and a relaxing cruise for two to a warm climate with lots of trees, and kitties and bushes?...wouldn't that be so nice?....I will pay for the whole thing...I will...and you could take that nice Montgomery woman with you...why she is a delight!...oh yes.. and you could.take every wednesday afternoon off for cavortin....uhhmm....carousi....uhhmm...catching up on a well needed rest! Yes....wouldn't that be nice? Just think. It would.......*OMG hope she buys this load of crap*

 

[Prism]

Shhh. Dont cry Ms. bonnie. I slipped judge DLite a couple of 10440 batteries under the table. That should get you out.

 

[pm2006]

Better research is in order here. She uses 14500's!

 

[lynleestar]

boy I need some representation here~! Last night.....I broke......my BOX I also killed an atty, heard the last gurgle at 10pm.

And since I'm being honest, the good ol' green atty I got from Power of Paranoia (GoG from PoP) only lasted one day with me~! I need help~!

 

[loxmythe]

Better research is in order here. She uses 14500's!

Better research in deed Paula. She is a HE. Judge Dlight is a man.

 

[pm2006]

http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:1...-court.gif&t=1

D'Lite is the jucge?? rofl.

 

[beebopnjazz]

Shhh. Dont cry Ms. bonnie. I slipped judge DLite a couple of 10440 batteries under the table. That should get you out.

Your Honor, I do believe charges should be filed against Ms. Prism for the attempted bribery and/or bribery of an elected official! She is trivializing the proceedings within this courtroom and to add insult to injury her offer to your esteemable self is of no use to you.

 

[Mr.JcP]

I have to report my child! She pushed the laptop back off the edge of the table with full disregard to any PV protection and with great malice intentionality contacting a book that had full intent of pushing my VV Al'i off the table onto the floor. End result:
Sad day for a wooded box mod

I dont think I should be allowed to PIF with this child living im my home you all have been warned

 

[Eekaa Chu]

***sneaks silently around to the outside of the jailhouse window***

bonnie......pssst.....booonnie....No not you sir....madam....whatever the heck you are! No I did not bring you any smokes! Besides they're bad for you, alow me to explain the benefits of e-cig......Oh, I don't have time for this!!!....Move it!!!

Bonnie, my great uncle Bif will be here in 5 minutes to bail you out. We worked out a deal, a few of his henchmen...erm cronies.....ah that is associates have run afoul of the courts in NYC for mass carto murder....I know cartos really aren't our thing, but it was an entire case of innocent cartos (the good kind too) and they were shamelessly massacred by these hoodlum....er nice gentlemen during an all night debauchery of poker, women, liquor (I'm pretty sure I heard Ms. Walker's name) and chain vaping with TV juices.....I've seen the photos.....appalling.....simply tragic...

Anyways....I promised representation pro bono in exchange for him busting...er bailing you out of here.

One catch.....we have to win or.... ***drags thumb across throat in slashing motion*** Curtains.... Of course I'm sure he didn't really mean it, I mean he's family.....I hope.....er....

So hold tight bonnie.....oh here he is now....excuse me!

***runs around and into courthouse***

 

[beebopnjazz]

boy I need some representation here~! Last night.....I broke......my BOX I also killed an atty, heard the last gurgle at 10pm.

And since I'm being honest, the good ol' green atty I got from Power of Paranoia (GoG from PoP) only lasted one day with me~! I need help~!

Your Honor, just a few short days ago Ms. Lynnleestar was ordered to forfeit her BOX to the Court. Yet, here she is again. Either Ms. Lynnleestar did not forfeit her box to the Court as ordered or she has more than one box! (Highly unusual!)

She further admits to atty killing! What say you your Honor?

 

[Eekaa Chu]

I have to report my child! She pushed the laptop back off the edge of the table with full disregard to any PV protection and with great malice intentionality contacting a book that had full intent of pushing my VV Al'i off the table onto the floor. End result:
Sad day for a wooded box mod

I dont think I should be allowed to PIF with this child living im my home you all have been warned

Such graphic crime seen photos should not be posted without proper warning for those of weak constitution to avert their eyes! Horrible, tragic....I don't know what to say.
I'm not sure any PVs are safe whilst this "juvenile delinquent" resides in your home....

The law offices of Bonniegirl and Eekaa Chu esq. are available pro bono should charges be brought against you for accessory to the murder of this fine mod, due to your harboring the aforementioned "child" in question.

 

[Eekaa Chu]

Freeeeee! bonniegirl, you're free!!!

bonnie....honey....where are you?

***leans over to look under cot***

It's ok, you can come out now....you're free....no it's gone....they put him...her...it....in another cell for your release......yes, that is what that terrible howling noise is that you hear...It was terribly upset and kept insisting it gave you their "lucky rat" so you were bound for life??? I dunno, anyways...come on darling...climb on out

Goodness you're filthy....we need to get you a bath...and we'll have to burn that suit....and the shoes.....maybe shave your head.....ack!

Oh, no no dear, its really not that bad....come one, I'll take you home....No, please don't touch....yes....this way...poor dear....I hope you can recover....we've had more confessions and new nuts popping up in the courtroom...we'll be backlogged to new year's

***sigh***