PV and Atty Abuse Reporting Thread

[bonniegirl]

Ladies and Gentleman of this fine community
I am sure you are aware of my recent stint at the pokey...uhhmm...the county jail. The charges against me were of a very political nature and will have no bearing on my ability to defend my clients against the mockery of such frivolous charges. Such is the case of the obviously accidental incident at the JcP residence. Children are just that....children.....and....well...they do things...*the little mischievous rug rats*..and of course this over zealous new *fancy bejeweled* prosecutor, Ms Prism is attempting to make a name for herself at the expense of these poor poor children.
"picking head lice off collar of torn Evan Piccone suite*
Now, these charges and those like them must stop at once. We ask the public to rise up and make your voices heard and *scratches head vigorously*....vote....*leans down to tiny Eeka to allow a whisper in ear.....*....oh well....next election....Yes, next election...all should vote out these corrupt prosecutors with the "beady" eyes and the political agendas and well....it is horrid.
*takes notice a heel is missing from the Jimmy Choos and falls down on the floor behind the podium*
Eeka...get me out of here.....
*scratches head, underarms and other areas*

*sob, slobber, sniffle boos and hoos and more boos....blows nose on Eekas shirt....*
*climbs in taxi and announces in purposeful voice with very assertive tone*

Driver, the corner pub please, I have an important meeting with Mr. Walker a new associate. Eeka go back to the office and collect all the briefs and meet me at the courthouse after my meeting.

*yells from taxi window*
Oh and bring some cootie shampoo and a fresh change of clothes!!!

 

[Mr.JcP]

Last edited by bonniegirl; Today at 07:14 PM. Reason: picking nits off pages... Just fell of the chair laughing! Thanks for the entertainment you have just added minuets to my life.

 

[bonniegirl]

Mr JcP
This law firm is always at your service...ahem...we are a professional and highly qualified firm that aims to serve and protect all of our clients needs. Anytime we can help add up minutes well, we are *much richer*...happy to do so.
Thanks for your very superb and obviously inteligient observance of our desire to serve our clients well.
Ms Bonniegirl esq.

BG/jw


this post from a regular ole laptop on my lap a tap

 

[Eekaa Chu]

***comes into the office loaded down with shopping bags***

Ok bonnie, I got yer cootie be-gone, anti lice and louse hair and body wash

One fresh new suit Piccone of course..... oh and I brought you some rollers, your hair is a wreck, and after you de-louse...er.....wash it, you'll need it restyled...

I got you some shoes too, but all I could find were manolo's....I hope they will do....

Ok, so......eww....is that a hicky? No wait....it's a tattoo......there! on your neck!

Property of Big Pat Luv 4 evr.....big pat? who the heck is bi....oh....oh......yes well, just a little laser treatment and it will be gone in no time.....no no, don't cry....

Mr. Walker!!! You are needed most urgently....bring glasses.....big ones....

***fans bonnie with briefs***

I hope these aren't big pat's

 

[zbasspro]

I would tell you how funny you are but I can see this is serious business so I will refrain at this time as I don't want an injunction against me.

Also, I would like to press charges against boB for the murder of Smiley. I believe this was passed over in the court and I would like to see justice done.

I see PM waits until I'm out of town and unable to defend myself to try to bring charges against me

We have visited this situation twice now. Documentation can be found in the chit chat and "Chippy" threads as to this matter and I consider this case closed!

I also have witnesses that were with me during this time of crisis via PM and they can be called to testify if needed, although the majority of the conversation was boB

 

[BiancaMontgomery]

You tell 'em boB!

 

[DLite]

There will be no charges brought aginst boB for the death of smiley in this courtroom as the previous owner of smiley used and abused the poor little guy

 

[Eekaa Chu]

Excellent judgment your honor. My partner and I are preparing our briefs for the next slew of cases on the docket...

 

[lynleestar]

not to bring myself into the scrutiny of that really intimidating prosecutor again but I must clarify:

I did not hand over the box, my sentence was reduced to house arrest/probation. Therefore there is no need to wonder if there are 2 boxes involved, that WOULD be highly unusual~!

Furthermore I blush while admitting.....and I know it's happened to others; there is nothing wrong with the box, it works superbly....the battery was dead

 

[DLite]

So by your own admission you submitted a false report to the courts?

 

[lynleestar]

not false, just inaccurate. Should have tinkered around more before 'submittimg my report'

 

[DLite]

and when something is submitted wrongly in court it is also known as False.. Gavel slams on the Desk~ Now on the charges of Submitting False Admission I here by hold you in contempt and sentence you to a term of vaping grandpa's mix for 3 days

 

[Darkwitless]

(the gallery gasps in horror!) *not grandma's mix?!*
(menthol with a pinch of mothball, Joy and Final Net)


(whispers to benchmate) what is grandPa's mix?

 

[loxmythe]

(the gallery gasps in horror!) *not grandma's mix?!*
(menthol with a pinch of mothball, Joy and Final Net)


(whispers to benchmate) what is grandPa's mix?

Grandpas mix actually has little bits of grandpa in it.View attachment 23360

 

[DLite]

Let the OOsweat vape begin

 

[Eekaa Chu]

(the gallery gasps in horror!) *not grandma's mix?!*
(menthol with a pinch of mothball, Joy and Final Net)

EEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!!!

***regains composure***

I mean, I object your honor. Again, this is a case of cruel and unusual punishment. Plus, it goes against the very nature of this court and its promise to protect the innocent. Please think of the poor atty/carto and PV that will also be subjected to this horrendous treatment! That is court ordered murder your honor! Or at the very least, you will drive the poor thing to atty-cide, simply to escape the torment.

I move that Ms. Star's sentence be commuted to community service in which she will be forced to clean up after the victims of terrible juices such as the aforementioned Grandpa's Blend. She is sure to encounter quite a mess as the mere sight of the bottle is enough to enduce fits of nausea and vomiting. I think this will be proper penance for this particular crime.

What say you your honor?

 

[DLite]

what would this court become If I, Start handing out reduced sentences. That would be a Justifiable Aticide but if you wish counselor I can change the sentence to have her vape for one hour a day the TV Co-op Juice. What say you in the matter??

 

[lynleestar]

Now on the charges of Submitting False Admission I here by hold you in contempt and sentence you to a term of vaping grandpa's mix for 3 days

I will hang my head so you can't see the tears in my eyes. I can't speak as my lower lip is quivering too badly. I take a deep shaky breath and accept my sentence. I'm sure it could have been much worse.


It's only 3 days, it's only 3 days, it's only 3 days

 

[Darkwitless]

Grandpas mix actually has little bits of grandpa in it.View attachment 23360

{whispers so as not to disturb an already disturbed court} I thought that was only legal in West Virgina?

 

[Eekaa Chu]

what would this court become If I, Start handing out reduced sentences. That would be a Justifiable Aticide but if you wish counselor I can change the sentence to have her vape for one hour a day the TV Co-op Juice. What say you in the matter??

Well your honor it's a crap shoot either way. The involvement of any TV liquid in the punishment of the defendant is still cruel and unusual, although 1 hour seems less horrible than 3 full days. For how many days would this punishment continue? I will ultimately leave the decision to my client Ms. Star as to which "bargain" she wishes to suffer....er..inflict....um serve upon herself.