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Sits back and watches as one Ms Eekaa wonders around aimlessly confused as to the reason the bushes were removed*
As the atty heats up dispensing a wonderful flavor of Hwn Punch and a cloud so big it covers the moon in the clear night time sky I'm feeling some what mischievious and mysterious* GO ahead vapors try and figure out what twist this court room has in store for all of you that break the vapor code*
Shuts off every light in the court house sitting inside a dark room laffing with an evil tone
what shall you choose
As the atty heats up dispensing a wonderful flavor of Hwn Punch and a cloud so big it covers the moon in the clear night time sky I'm feeling some what mischievious and mysterious* GO ahead vapors try and figure out what twist this court room has in store for all of you that break the vapor code*
Shuts off every light in the court house sitting inside a dark room laffing with an evil tone
what shall you choose
There is a very strong possibility that i will not be back - killed the screwdriver after only 2 weeks thats my 6th pv in less than two months.
I will go lay under a rock for a while - and mr LOX - us nj ladies are not rif raf - pffttt........
Sits back and watches as one Ms Eekaa wonders around aimlessly confused as to the reason the bushes were removed*
As the atty heats up dispensing a wonderful flavor of Hwn Punch and a cloud so big it covers the moon in the clear night time sky I'm feeling some what mischievious and mysterious* GO ahead vapors try and figure out what twist this court room has in store for all of you that break the vapor code*
Shuts off every light in the court house sitting inside a dark room laffing with an evil tone
what shall you choose
Hey, who turned out the lights? .....Wait....who's hand is that???
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!!!
Well, the lights are out and the bushes are gone and well...you said you needed someone to guard your body... bwhahahahaha
Oh...it's your hand....oh please.....by all means.....carry on!
Teach them to cut down our bushes, and leave us to our own....devices....
***giggles and rustling sounds echo in the dark***
The sound triggers the trap*
A cage comes slamming down around the two culprits* Spot lights turn on as the calvary rushes in to see what the noise everyones been hearing is*
Dials up the local news channel* Get down here quick the mysterious noise has been confirmed*
A cage comes slamming down around the two culprits* Spot lights turn on as the calvary rushes in to see what the noise everyones been hearing is*
Dials up the local news channel* Get down here quick the mysterious noise has been confirmed*
This court has gone to the proverbial dogs....uhmm...cats....uhmm...well...where ....is the decorum and civility?
Your honor....My but you do look dapper with the smile on your face....and did I tell you what a lovely color black that robe is? Ahem.....*whispers to his honor in very low voice*.... are you aware your robe is open?...and well the briefs are showing and well......it is horrid....simply horrid.....the way these supposed ladies act......*and the fact you wear tighty whities*......what is to become of all the abused attys?
This situation is horrid....simply horrid
Your honor....My but you do look dapper with the smile on your face....and did I tell you what a lovely color black that robe is? Ahem.....*whispers to his honor in very low voice*.... are you aware your robe is open?...and well the briefs are showing and well......it is horrid....simply horrid.....the way these supposed ladies act......*and the fact you wear tighty whities*......what is to become of all the abused attys?
This situation is horrid....simply horrid
****Regains composure.....wraps up in..someone's shirt...***
I object! This is entrapment! This entire situation...the cutting of the bushes, the suspicious power outage...was all contrived to create this media circus in which we find ourselves! Besides....your honor looks a bit disheveled himself...perhaps he may have contributed to said "noises"?
I demand to be freed from this cage immediately! Although I may have a preference for certain...cats...in bushes.....I am not an animal! And I will not be treated as such!
This entire situation has been taken out of context! My body guard and I were simply ensuring that there were no.....explosive devices...planted anywhere, and I mean anywhere.....on our persons. As your honor knows my personal safety has been threatened of late, and well I was again chased by the mad man one Mr. L.O.X.....
This is a mockery of the purpose of this court! I have cases to examine! Now I demand that me and my playpal......er...body guard be freed immediately...
***Puts hand in front of camera lens*** Get lost ya pervert!
I object! This is entrapment! This entire situation...the cutting of the bushes, the suspicious power outage...was all contrived to create this media circus in which we find ourselves! Besides....your honor looks a bit disheveled himself...perhaps he may have contributed to said "noises"?
I demand to be freed from this cage immediately! Although I may have a preference for certain...cats...in bushes.....I am not an animal! And I will not be treated as such!
This entire situation has been taken out of context! My body guard and I were simply ensuring that there were no.....explosive devices...planted anywhere, and I mean anywhere.....on our persons. As your honor knows my personal safety has been threatened of late, and well I was again chased by the mad man one Mr. L.O.X.....
This is a mockery of the purpose of this court! I have cases to examine! Now I demand that me and my playpal......er...body guard be freed immediately...
***Puts hand in front of camera lens*** Get lost ya pervert!
Demands all the news media to exit the courtroom, at once or I will have you all on charges.
Ms. Eekaa is this the way someone who defends the guilty suppose to act in a court of law? Do you have no remorse or guilt as to the bushes being trimmed I was merely installing a sprinkler system and replacing the old bushes with black and blue rose bushes. How are the people you defend suppose to trust someone that will fralick around with said persons that have been found guilty of abuse in the past? What say you Ms Eekaa??
Ms. Eekaa is this the way someone who defends the guilty suppose to act in a court of law? Do you have no remorse or guilt as to the bushes being trimmed I was merely installing a sprinkler system and replacing the old bushes with black and blue rose bushes. How are the people you defend suppose to trust someone that will fralick around with said persons that have been found guilty of abuse in the past? What say you Ms Eekaa??
***softly sniffles into hanky...dusting a few stray cat hairs from lapel***
Judge I stand repentant before this court, and ask its forgiveness....I entered this courtroom an innocent, and was exposed to unseemly sights, sounds and experiences during Mr. Lox's reign of terror at my expense...and the expense of my atty, and my nightie...and my boots.....I really loved those boots ***sniffle...sneeze!*** Yes I really did sneeze that time, thank you. ***sniff ***
As my co counsel has pointed out on frequent occasions I am suffering from PTSISD (Post traumatic stress induced sexuality disorder). It is a sickness your honor, and well....Ms. Montgomery is so....tasty....er......scrumptious......um desirable that is....that I find her impossible to resist in my weakened state.
I regret my behavior in this court room, however, I feel I was driven to it with the sudden, violent removal of my bush...er the bushes.....Had his honor simply let me know that they were to be replaced, I might have been spared this.....episode...
Now, with my beloved bushes restored, although they are a decidedly more horny.....err thorny version. I can assure your honor that no further antics shall take place in the court of law, and any such....activity will be confined to the bushes, and swings.......and....other more...private places.
I intend to valiantly pursue justice for the innocent accused vapers everywhere, as I always have. My dedication to justice has never waivered even throughout these....difficult times.
I throw myself upon the mercy of the court, and ask that I be treated with kindness and given the second chance I believe I deserve.
Thank you your honor....
***bows gracefully to his honor, and solemnly exits the court room....dabbing at wet eyes with the corner of a handkerchief ***
Judge I stand repentant before this court, and ask its forgiveness....I entered this courtroom an innocent, and was exposed to unseemly sights, sounds and experiences during Mr. Lox's reign of terror at my expense...and the expense of my atty, and my nightie...and my boots.....I really loved those boots ***sniffle...sneeze!*** Yes I really did sneeze that time, thank you. ***sniff ***
As my co counsel has pointed out on frequent occasions I am suffering from PTSISD (Post traumatic stress induced sexuality disorder). It is a sickness your honor, and well....Ms. Montgomery is so....tasty....er......scrumptious......um desirable that is....that I find her impossible to resist in my weakened state.
I regret my behavior in this court room, however, I feel I was driven to it with the sudden, violent removal of my bush...er the bushes.....Had his honor simply let me know that they were to be replaced, I might have been spared this.....episode...
Now, with my beloved bushes restored, although they are a decidedly more horny.....err thorny version. I can assure your honor that no further antics shall take place in the court of law, and any such....activity will be confined to the bushes, and swings.......and....other more...private places.
I intend to valiantly pursue justice for the innocent accused vapers everywhere, as I always have. My dedication to justice has never waivered even throughout these....difficult times.
I throw myself upon the mercy of the court, and ask that I be treated with kindness and given the second chance I believe I deserve.
Thank you your honor....
***bows gracefully to his honor, and solemnly exits the court room....dabbing at wet eyes with the corner of a handkerchief ***
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Your Honor
Why...I never knew you were a rose lover! Oh how the black beauties stun my eyes and will match your robe so well. My but you do look marvelous today and the cologne is lovely.....*CVS?.....nah....English Leather*....it is soooo..well...it is you....*cheap and tawdry*....and those shoes are just so Dapper....the brown is so stylish with the black robe....*or so they say on "What not to Wear" on TLC....but OMG they do have Kate Goslin and all her lil gosslings....uhmm....Goslins..and well at least she isn't still dancing ...that WAS horrid...UGH* Your honor let the record reflect that the defense approves of the new landscaping and your fine choice of variety. Why roses are devine...they are.
Your Honor, tis sad but true, that my partner is suffering from PTSID...*Post traumatic sexual identity disorder and she doesn't even know the name of what she has*...and well...she has not been herself of late. I assure the court we will seek a proper therapist and lessen her case load and I shall take over her briefs..*If she has them still*...We plead your mercy for Ms. Eekachu...*shut up, no one sneezed*....your honor. We are at your mercy.
What say you your Honor?
*adjusts wig and limps from courtroom shaking head at Eeka with disapproving look on face*
Ms. Eekachu you must relieve this Ms. Montgomery of her duties for Gods sake. I never really meant harm to you...I was merely angry over the swing and the bushes and the cats and well....*this is horrid....simply horrid*...we have clients to protect from false accusations and justice must prevail.
Why...I never knew you were a rose lover! Oh how the black beauties stun my eyes and will match your robe so well. My but you do look marvelous today and the cologne is lovely.....*CVS?.....nah....English Leather*....it is soooo..well...it is you....*cheap and tawdry*....and those shoes are just so Dapper....the brown is so stylish with the black robe....*or so they say on "What not to Wear" on TLC....but OMG they do have Kate Goslin and all her lil gosslings....uhmm....Goslins..and well at least she isn't still dancing ...that WAS horrid...UGH* Your honor let the record reflect that the defense approves of the new landscaping and your fine choice of variety. Why roses are devine...they are.
Your Honor, tis sad but true, that my partner is suffering from PTSID...*Post traumatic sexual identity disorder and she doesn't even know the name of what she has*...and well...she has not been herself of late. I assure the court we will seek a proper therapist and lessen her case load and I shall take over her briefs..*If she has them still*...We plead your mercy for Ms. Eekachu...*shut up, no one sneezed*....your honor. We are at your mercy.
What say you your Honor?
*adjusts wig and limps from courtroom shaking head at Eeka with disapproving look on face*
Ms. Eekachu you must relieve this Ms. Montgomery of her duties for Gods sake. I never really meant harm to you...I was merely angry over the swing and the bushes and the cats and well....*this is horrid....simply horrid*...we have clients to protect from false accusations and justice must prevail.
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I know that my partner only want want is best for me. I agree to seek therapy, and as my body is no longer in danger, I am releasing Ms. Montgomery from her duties....stop by my place later for your severance package 
What? Oh...sorry, old habits die hard.....I remain a faithful servant to the court, and should your honor allow I will continue to serve in my best capacity to protect the innocent from undue prosecution...
***again exits court room...sniffling into now quite soggy hanky ***
What? Oh...sorry, old habits die hard.....I remain a faithful servant to the court, and should your honor allow I will continue to serve in my best capacity to protect the innocent from undue prosecution...
***again exits court room...sniffling into now quite soggy hanky ***
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Listen, if Bless You is sexually confused, I sure can't tell! There is nothing wrong with that lovely woman besides being afflicted with Dead Sexy. Stop making her cry FFS!
OK, so I've read some of this thread off and on and while it's slightly bizarre and I don't really understand what's going on, I thought I'd still report that I knowingly abused two attys to the point of killing them outright.
I received my new mod in the mail and it came with 2 3v bats. I knew that my standard 510's were probably not fit to use on it, BUT I really wanted to try it out instead of waitng for my 3.7v to come in the mail. So I put one standard 510 atty on my 6.4v vaping machine and promptly KILLED it. Rather than resign myself to patiently awaiting the arrival of the proper battery, I DID IT AGAIN with another atty. So sorry little attys, but your death was for the cause of vaping heaven...
Hope this was the proper place to post my atty eulogy and apology, I hope I'm not in too much trouble
I received my new mod in the mail and it came with 2 3v bats. I knew that my standard 510's were probably not fit to use on it, BUT I really wanted to try it out instead of waitng for my 3.7v to come in the mail. So I put one standard 510 atty on my 6.4v vaping machine and promptly KILLED it. Rather than resign myself to patiently awaiting the arrival of the proper battery, I DID IT AGAIN with another atty. So sorry little attys, but your death was for the cause of vaping heaven...
Hope this was the proper place to post my atty eulogy and apology, I hope I'm not in too much trouble
***lifts head and manages a faint smile***
Thank you Ms. Montgomery. You are a treasure...worth your weight in gold and then some...I don't care what anyone says! We may have to keep our activities free of the court room, but I have a swing in my back yard with our names on it....Whatdya say?.....After court.....around 10? I'll bring the cat
***goes back to stress induced weeping***
OK, so I've read some of this thread off and on and while it's slightly bizarre and I don't really understand what's going on, I thought I'd still report that I knowingly abused two attys to the point of killing them outright.
I received my new mod in the mail and it came with 2 3v bats. I knew that my standard 510's were probably not fit to use on it, BUT I really wanted to try it out instead of waitng for my 3.7v to come in the mail. So I put one standard 510 atty on my 6.4v vaping machine and promptly KILLED it. Rather than resign myself to patiently awaiting the arrival of the proper battery, I DID IT AGAIN with another atty. So sorry little attys, but your death was for the cause of vaping heaven...
Hope this was the proper place to post my atty eulogy and apology, I hope I'm not in too much trouble
***attempts to dry eyes with dripping hanky*** Eeewww ***throws hanky in trash and extracts new, dry one from favorite coach tote bag....dabs at eyes....loudly blows nose***
My good man...or woman...he/she? Whatever your sexual identity may be, you should have sought counsel before confessing in the open court. I hate to say it but our "dear" judge has been throwing the proverbial book at offenders much less guilty than yourself of late.
However, My partner bonniegirl and I at the Law offices of bonniegirl and Eekaa Chu (No! now stop it!) esq. have dedicated ourselves to defending atty abusers and pursuing justice. Allow me to show your briefs to my partner...(no not those briefs! Please....put them back on!....now where was I?). Oh yes...and we will see what we can do about your horrid...simply horrid situation....
I must strongly caution you to refrain from flapping your yap.....er that is....caution you against any further courtroom admissions until such time when bonniegirl and I can review your mess....um...case.
***sigh***
bonnie! we got another one! Dust off the best in your shoe collection...this is gonna be a tough one!
***clicks out of courtroom with wet hanky which missed the trash can trailing from left shoe***
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