Self destructing in a bad way

[SuZamme]

Thanks for starting this thread and the poll as well.

My brother and his wife are here for a visit and we (my SO as well) were sitting around talking about quitting smoking because he is now carrying a small oxygen tank to help with his recently diagnosed COPD from smoking.

The subject of quitting smoking came up and I talked a bit about how the e-cigs are working for me.

My SO turned to me and said "You have been using them for quite a few months now, are you still using nicotine in them or are you using 0 nicotine now"?

Of course, in true relationship dynamics, I noticed what appeared to be a criticism if I answered anything but 0 nic.

I would have felt supported if instead I had been acknowledged for using PV's and without the questioning of the nic content.

I grow weary of hoping for acceptance and acknowledgment.

 

[kj4lxw]

Hey I feel for you.
Seems alot of people have such a prejudice about smoking that if you have any type of connection to its use they are not happy with it. Just keep up the good job, we're here for you when you need us.

 

[magz]

Wow, I just sat down and read a lot more of this thread, and it really blows my mind how so many of us try to do something healthy for ourselves and how so many of us have no direct support.
Thank you all of you for your responses and support, I know my post was a little much but I needed to vent. Things in my current relationship are always so up and down, so when things are good they're great and when things are bad, well, it's really really bad. Although I love my SO very much it's hard to say if we'll make it. Loving someone doesn't always mean your compatible and I do realize this. That realization makes things even harder. I think my SO really does want to be supportive but doesn't know how to do it. He has bipolar disorder (as do I) but he's refuses to take medication for it (thank god I do or someone may not have made it this long, and I don't mean me, lol). When something bothers him, instead of expressing it in an encouraging manner or just saying what's wrong, he discourages me in some way or internalizes his feelings and they build up. He's not a bad person, and I know he tries very hard to control his temper and express himself in the healthiest way he can, but without medication or even counseling it's an uphill battle and I know this from personal experience. Anyway, thanks again for listening...

To all of you working it out, it is so good to hear! I've read some really wonderful stories on this thread. And to those of you still having trouble, keep trying, you'll know when you've had enough.

Thank you again to all of you for the support and sharing your stories, and good luck to all!

 

[316lvm]

UPDATE

I hope everyone is doing better.
It's been awhile since there has been any activity on this thread, but I felt the need for an update.

In regards to making a "group" for this, there wasn't enough interest expressed on the poll that was run. Since there are plenty of other places to post on this forum, I think I'll just bump this thread periodically to keep it going.

As for me, my hubby and son are a lot more supportive - even with my setback. I started smoking again plus my moods have been very labile lately - it's been a struggle to say the least. The doc increased my seroquel, so not only am I smoking and labile, I'm also a space cadet

It'll take some time to get back on track, but at least this time I have some support.

I still keep all of you in my prayers and thoughts and hope that you are finding your way.

TC -
Fran

 

[kj4lxw]

Thanks for updating us Fran. I'm glad they are standing behind you more. I truly hope you can get things back on track, regardless of the time it may take you. Follow the path even if you do stray a little.

 

[silkakc]

Oh, IVapus, I feel for you!!!! What is it with our spouses? I don't understand it.

They're not happy when you smoke, not happy when you quit and not happy when you vape.


I'm older and I've learned in life that some people are just critical and negative by nature. I heard them described aptly last week. The person said," Some ppl are like overflowing garbage trucks in this world. They go through life trying to dump their garbage onto others to lighten their own load".

Those kinds of people make themselves feel better by tearing down others. It's hard living with them and loving them but you gotta learn to not take it personally. They treat EVERYONE that way, not just their spouses. Something is wrong inside their heads and you just have to feel bad for them.

Your spouse might not be like that but I know you know someone like that in your life Just smile and think of them morphing into a overflowing garbage!

 

[The Fool]

Dear 316, You have been such a wonderfully supportive member of our community, that it makes me sad that you have returned to smoking. No judgement, just wish I could have been there for you. I read this thread when you first started it and didn't respond because I'm single and my good friend are very supportive.

I'm sorry you're going through a rough patch. Feel free to PM me anytime. I really think you're super!