So sorry to hear about your situation. I know how you feel....years ago I quit smoking for someone, and after the stressful breakup I went immediately back to smoking from the stress and sadness. Vaping wasnt all that known to me at that time, and pretty soon I was back to my old pack a day habit.
However, now, after you've felt the freedom of being able to breathe better, taste food better, etc, just know that you *can* have a cigarette....it won't mean that you're necessarily back to being a smoker, but rather, as my a friend told me a month ago....
"If you have a smoke, so what? If you have 3, so what? Just remember you're a non smoker who chose to have a cigarette. So don't worry, have a smoke, then get back to vaping and feel healthy!!" And if you do decide to go back to smoking, that's fine too....just remember that vaping is healthier.
I feel for you....if ya need to vent just come back here....we're here for you.