Daughter wants to smoke, advice.

[Vapoor eyes er]

I began smoking at 16 and smoked for 44 yrs. From start to finish if I had 5p for every time someone asked or told me to stop smoking I'd be beyond wealthy. She's 24 yrs and all you can do is hope for the best. I would want to know why she feels the need to smoke. When I began it was all about being "grown up" and I still remember coughing, gagging, getting nic headaches and the awful taste...but I persevered and became a successful addict These are all "my" thoughts, feelings and opinions about the subject but if it were my daughter in the same situation I would guide her towards vaping given the choices.
The Very Best of Luck to You and Your Daughter.

 

[jajashi]

Do you know what reasons she has for wanting to start smoking (if she isn't already)? If its due to stress etc, could she find other ways of relieving it?

 

[USinchains]

I missed the part where she's 24. Thought we were dealing with a teen. I still think leading by example is the best option for you both. My father quit when I was about 15, and I always had respect for that decision and feel that it gave me strength later on to kick my own habit.

 

[Caridwen]

Are cigarettes as expensive in the UK as they are in the US? Hope she has a job where she's making big bucks.

Are cigarettes really as socially acceptable now? When I started smoking, everyone seemed to smoke. Now I rarely see anyone smoke. Just a few little huddles along the sides of buildings.

 

[Berylanna]

There's two reasons to vape or smoke:

1. To look cool
2. To get nicotine.

If your daughter has not become attracted to the nicotine rush, then vaping 0 nic will look cool for a month or six, but I have trouble picturing anybody sticking with it very long if there's no nicotine in it. Maybe she'll get bored.

I started to get nicotine -- and I believe I actually need it to be healthy and awake and active. But lack of 02 makes me INactive, so I vape nicotine. If my daugher had not quit smoking, permanently, with her first pregnancy, I'd be pushing her to vape. If you kid has tried nic and is keeping it from you that she already smokes, get her vaping nic.

If YOU are smoking, switch to e-cigs then when she asks you about smoking tell her you've quit!

 

[ppeeble]

Something doesn't sound right here. Children (of any age) do not ask permission to smoke, they just do it and nearly always because their friends or peers smoke.
Any parents reaction should be 'NO, don't be bloody stupid, cigarettes kill you'.
As for e-cigs, they are made purely as a smoking reduction aid or alternative to cigarettes for existing smokers and should never be given to non-smokers.
I think you should ask her reasons for wanting to smoke - it could just be for a reaction or to use your answer as emotional blackmail. (or perhaps she already smokes and wants your approval ?).
IMO

 

[klynnn]

I would suggest a 0 nic liquid with a fairly nice ecig and hope she realizes smoking isn't all it's cracked up to be. Too many negatives to be a smoker today. She is an adult and will have to make her own way and suffer the consequences as we all have.

 

[Leatherneck]

Smoke? No. Vape 0mg? Sure. Why not?

 

[Rachy_B]

I would say no to both smoking and vaping.

I've never heard of anyone making a conscious, premeditated decision to smoke...

As a smoker, you know how difficult it is to quit, how expensive it is and how badly it affects your health. If your daughter looks up to you as you say, surely she'd understand this? Also, while you're here, why don't YOU start vaping and show her that even though you smoke now, you don't want to? I found it easier to lose the cigs with my electric than any other method I've tried. It wont necessarily be easy for you as every individual is different but you've got a golden opportunity here to dissuade her from nicotine addiction in any form and improve your own health. If there's no smoking in the house and she's not around it all the time, she'll smell it on other people and realise how stinky it is. Calculate how much you spend on cigs a week and ask her if she could genuinely afford that. Then ask her if she's ever planning on having kids because if she's not started smoking now, why start when it will affect her future children?

So many reasons to dissuade her, so little time to list them all...x

 

[subversive]

I find it so strange that a 24-year-old would suddenly want to start smoking, especially with the anti-tobacco culture we have today. It seems like it is generally much younger, or if it's older, it's because a romantic partner smokes. Seems like she should be past the age of peer pressure or wanting to look cool. It's not even considered cool anymore. Do you smoke in your home? Is she aware how much it stinks? 3/4 of adults today do not smoke, which means that most of them out there would also prefer a non-smoking partner. I would think that would be a big incentive not to smoke for a single girl in her 20's. Honestly, for someone who isn't already using nicotine to begin with, I cannot recommend vaping with a clear conscience. It's a topic that comes up from time to time, but the choice isn't always either/or. Sometimes the best choice is neither. Of course, the choice is entirely up to her.

 

[Monk33]

i applaud you for trying to be a good parent and trying to guide your daughter off smoking. I told alot of people that are younger than me to not start if they never started in the first place but that has never stopped anyone. If you want to take a risk, just get her a pack of real nasty ones and have her smoke the whole pack in a single sitting. Maybe she will get so sicked from it that she realizes that she shouldnt be smoking it.

 

[b34tn1k]

24 is way to old to be curious about smoking... I started smoking when I a dumb teenager at 15

 

[junkman]

Sounds fishy to me. Either she already smokes, and is now wanting permission to do it openly, or she is using the idea to get you to re-examine your habits.

Very rare that a 24 year old would suddenly decide they want to smoke.

Or else depression -

"I smoke because I pray for an early death" Aldous Huxley

 

[Serendipitysrs2]

How awesome that you and your daughter have such a close relationship that she would talk to you about it first! My daughter just went out and started smoking even after years of warning her against it.

I find myself saying this a lot lately, but try this method of logic. Cigarettes are one of the few things that we spend money on and then turn around and light on fire. She might as well burn $20 bills. It is pointless when you think about it.

Good luck! Young adult daughters (I have two) can be a mother's biggest source of stress!! My girls are headstrong and think they already know everything! Whatever happened to the little girls we could dress up in pink ribbon and lace and little patent leather shoes? Boy I miss those days!

 

[Bullette the Cowdog]

She's 24 years old?
She talks to you about her decisions?
Taking up smoking at 24?

No way.

I say she's just trying to get to you...shock you. As a previous poster said, she wants you to examine your behavior; to look at yourself.

Good luck. It must be difficult to be a parent.

And this is my 2€. You get what you pay for from the old Cowdog. LOL

 

[adeline]

To everyone who says it's better to not smoke, and vapers should only be ex-smokers...

We all made the decision to smoke. So yeah, it's better not to, but we all went there. Every single one of us.

If you could go back to when you started, if vaping were around, would you still have smoked?

I know I wouldn't have. I'd be a happy vaper from the start.

I was going to be a smoker. I picked up a pack a day habit when I was 15. Overnight. Instant smoker. It was something I was going to do.

How I WISH vaping were around (like it is today) back when I started.

Just my two cents. If someone's going to start smoking, I'd much rather see them vaping -- especially at zero nic. Why start a dangerous addictive habit if you actually have the CHOICE to use something better, tastier, and less smelly?

 

[Hulamoon]

Cigarettes are extremely expensive in UK - for US equivalents, take an $8 pack of cigs and turn the currency into a pound symbol. To me it sounds as if she has smoked but perhaps kept it back from you. Other causes of wishing to smoke could be depression, a need for "calming" "de-stressing" or even to "stay thin" (though that one never worked for me. Hmph) To begin with I'd gently ask her if she's already smoking and is letting you know that in a very roundabout manner. Otherwise I'd tell her to take 50 quid in tenners, and to burn one a day for 5 days and then see how she feels about that. I'd also warn her that the addiction of cigarettes is on just about everybody's target practice for being rude, offensive, it may well become illegal and does she want to stand outside in ten degrees in winter because she can't smoke inside, and those laws are getting more intrusive every day. For example in Hawaii, State law allows condo associations to ban smoking INSIDE the apartment even if you are an owner. That sort of cuts down your options for home purchase in the future. If worst comes to worst and she IS smoking, or is determined to do so, then tell her to join you on the forum to find some advice on a much safer alternative, for the best equipment and juice to suit her. All the very best to you both.

 

[Blurgas]

"Why did you start?"
My parents smoked, some friends smoked, so I figured "Eh, give it a try" and got hooked

"Why did you keep smoking?"
Nicotine addiction and I liked the act of smoking

"Why not quit vaping/nicotine?"
I'm in no hurry and have no interest in enduring withdrawal symptoms

"Why not use the patch/gum/drugs?"
I'm a hairy ......., patch wouldn't stick well and/or proved insufficient
Can't stand gum
Hm, keep vaping or take a drug that was forced to carry a warning of increased risk of suicidal thoughts/tendencies

 

[subversive]

Why start a dangerous addictive habit if you actually have the CHOICE to use something better, tastier, and less smelly?

Why start an addictive habit at all? Why does it have to be either/or? I made a choice to try cigarettes, but that choice involved the undeveloped decision-making faculties of an 11 year old. I wasn't thinking I was going to become a smoker. I was just curious and wanted to feel grown-up, because all the grown-ups in my life smoked. I smoked because I could not quit. I vape because I cannot quit, and I don't want to harm myself by going back to cigarettes. Others will have different perspectives and addiction levels, but vaping, while enjoyable, is something I do out of a perceived lack of choice. A non-addict has the choice to never start. Vaping is a substitute for me. A wonderful substitute that I am passionate about, but one that I could never recommend to a non-user, even knowing they will most likely start one way or another. Reduced harm option or not, the message is the same: "Don't start." That's my line in the sand that might seem arbitrary to some. If I had a child, I would ground them and make them go cold turkey long before I would ever offer up vaping as an alternative.

Of course, this person is 24, so that's not an option. If this person is already smoking as a legal adult, then the line in the sand is gone. I'm leaning towards two things regarding the OP's post - it's either fake in some way, or this girl really does exist and has already been smoking.

If an adult wants to start using nicotine, yes, vaping would be better than smoking, but there is still a third option, and that is the only option I feel we can ethically recommend.

 

[thisbebakes]

I guess it depends on why she wants to smoke and if she's already exposed to herself to nicotine. I'm 26 and started smoking three years ago, worst decision I ever made. I agree with most responses here; if she hasn't used nicotine before then she should definitely not smoke cigs, but maybe vape 0 mg. If she has maybe get her to vape and ween her off it? That's my advice.