Been very happy reading posts from Madame as well. Madame you have the same ability as T Bob in that you can communicate.
Thank you....that's very high praise to me.
It's possible that one or more of the medications I am taking is working against me. I recently was given Pristiq by my GP in hopes that it would ease the symptoms.
Don't worry about Pristiq + tobacco. That warning about Pristiq and MAOIs was in regard to taking prescription antidepressant MAOIs with Pristiq. The outcomes would be a hypertensive crisis or serotonin syndrome (too much norepinephrine or too much serotonin, in other words). Those interactions can mean the emergency room or even a dirt nap.
The MAOIs in tobacco are milder than those in prescription MAOI antidepressants; otherwise they'd cause many more dangerous drug interactions. That's
not to say they aren't powerful and noticeable, of course, but they do work a bit differently.
I'm sad to report that I have had a temporary set back. Until I have a working plan B I'm going to have to suppliment my treatment with tobacco. Unless a working substitute is found I have no choice. My depression was reaching dangerous levels. I was becomming a danger to my self and others. It really had nothing to do with will power.
There have been a lot of good responses to this already, but I wanted to add...
You do what you need to do to get through each day. Depression makes your future planning shrink to a miniscule scale. That's fine. The stakes are higher.
Everything feels irreversible ("failure"), a final judgment, because your personality gets submerged in a kind of vicious undertow.
Truly, there's hardly any 'willpower' about it. It eats your willpower for breakfast with toast.
People often like to advise list making, mantras, positive thinking, yoga...
I humbly suggest
distraction. Plus whatever form of tobacco or nicotine helps the hours pass safely and uneventfully.
(And this is why I am so fond of this forum.

)
When better strategies are not yet found, sometimes the best you can do is distract yourself as much as possible, and forgive yourself for whatever you can do to get through the dark times.
Distraction+forgiveness is also a kind of cognitive framing in itself: Retreating and easing up on yourself is exactly what you must do during an illness in order to recover without complications. Thinking of it as a healing process keeps you from shooting yourself down about wasted days or smoked packs.
At least, I try ridiculously hard to think that way, and I've repeated it to myself so many times it almost rings true.
I'm glad to hear things are a bit better.
Sometimes information gathering is the best diversion out there.