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Something funny

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Lisa66

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Years ago I had gone back to school, taking night courses, with many late nights studying. My usual place was at the kitchen table. It was around midnight and my husband had just gone to bed. From my seat I could look up and through a "pass-through", through the dining room and into the family room. I heard a lot of scrambling in the family room and saw the cat going bonkers......figured it was a mouse. Since I was busy cramming, I called for my husband to give me a hand, and he got a pair of gloves and a towel. The cat had something cornered underneath a large pillow on the floor. When he lifted it up, a chipmunk shot straight up and onto my leg....I screamed and literally jumped up onto a chair - such a sissy! I still have a clear picture in my mind of my husband running around with gloves on and brandishing his towel like El Toro (in his underwear, no less), trying to catch that chipmunk...
 

Seabrook

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When I was bartending in Northeastern Oregon, I worked in a very old bar that catered to the oldtimers and the Union Pacific railroad workers; they were a very rowdy but fun and safe group. I got a call around noon on New Years Day to "come down to the bar and help out." So I went, and when I got there, I no sooner got my foot thru the door until a couple of guys grabbed my arms and forced them over my head, then I felt hands go up my shirt and unhook my bra strap, so I started kicking and screaming thinking I was being assaulted but couldn't understand why I heard clapping and cheering in the background and why no one was helping me.

It turned out that it was a tradition every New Years Day for the customers to hang the bartenders and cocktail waitress bras on the horns of a deer head that was mounted to a wall. Sure enuff, when my bra disappeared from my body, I looked around and saw the other bartenders and waitresses there and the bras that were already hung on the antlers. I got showered with gifts, hugs and lots and lots of beer. No harm done, but it was scary during my struggle. The following year, I took my laciest, sexiest bra and just climbed up and hung it on the deer antlers myself. Whew, glad the tradition didn't include panties.:blush::laugh:
 

Seabrook

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Wow, Sea!! I'd be surprised if one of the guys didn't end up with a black eye or something! :laugh:

They were pretty gentle - even huddled around me & turned me toward the wall so my bare chest wasn't shown to the whole crowd. If they wouldn't have done that while getting my arms free from the straps, yeah they mighta each gotten a black eye later. I was a tiny little thing - only 114 and 5'2." I'm still 5'2", but I'm no longer 114.:laugh:
 

classwife

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Ohhhkaaayyy......next story :facepalm::facepalm::facepalm:
 

Mary Kay

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Many years ago I worked at a nightclub as the cover charge taker. My orders were that NO ONE gets in with out paying the $5.00 cover charge. This was to keep the riff raff out..At 22, I wouldn't have known a riff from a raff! Anyway a group of very tall black men came in wearing the "Fly" styles of the day...lol. (early 70's). They tried to walk past me but I stood in front of the group and refused to let them pass. Now at 5'3 and at the time 120 fully dressed..I am sure I posed an unmovable obstacle for these guys. After all I was staring them down eye to eyelette with thier belt buckles!
My boss came running up all but bowing and scrapeing. He was about 5'2 of strutting banty rooster most of the time..he was yelling at me asking if I knew who these men were..(personally they looked liked extras from "Baretta or ladies of the night managers) But I said, no Sir..they won't pay! He was turning a funny color and trying to make me move..he yelled "These are the Harlem Globetrotters!!" About that time I had money in my hands..much to much money and the guys smiled at me, ignored my boss and walked in! It was my one and only tip..but it was a great one!
 

tmcase

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I've been house-sitting for a friend for the last few days. She has 2 dogs, 5 cats, an iguana, 2 geckos and lots of crickets that she feeds to the geckos. I hate crickets. They jump and you never know when or where they are going to jump. Hate um!

Night before last I went to bed, read for awhile then turned out the light and just as I was falling asleep I heard a cricket. My heart thumped & my pulse raced. I turned on the light, grabbed my slipper and held it over my head like it was a club. I waited and listened but didn't hear it anymore so I looked around until I finally spotted it silently watching me. It was perched on a pillow beside my bed. I just about crapped myself. I slammed it with my slipper and knocked it to the floor but it was still moving so I slammed it again, and again but it wouldn't stop moving. By now the adrenaline was really pumping so I slammed it again and pressed down hard and ground it into the carpet. Deed was done. I kilt it. Only then could I go back to sleep.

I know it sounds silly being afraid of crickets but this one was HUGE, at least an inch long. 8-o I'm an animal lover, not an insect lover. I hate crickets. :facepalm:
 
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