I am not a totally happy e-camper and don't understand people who just sing praises of how wonderful and better it is than smoking. It's an alternative. An incomplete alternative for me.
This is true. It is incomplete. For me it's the best alternative available. I've been happily vaping to a point that I've cut down by a third on the real cigs. Last night I finally ran out of cigs. In my house, there's no such thing. I see 3-4 pks in my carton and go get three more cartons.
Last night, tho, I felt no stress of it. Woke up this AM, bummed a cig from my husband, got dressed and ran errands. Went to work. Still felt good. I vape at work, even in some meetings. Was feeling really proud.
Thoughts of cigs came to mind. I dismissed them. Did some old breathing techniques. Didn't help after a while. Then a distant voice of panick set it.
I KNOW I was getting nicotine....but I still started panicking about panicking. It's ridiculous! I knew it was in my head but didn't care. The whole chest tightening thing started up...and the inability to focus on anything but not smoking. This is the part that KILLS me. I KNOW IT'S IN MY HEAD!
I got a smoke from a buddy and practically ate it.
I bummed a few more during the day.
When I got home tonight, I bought a pack and in the last 4.5 hours have smoked 16 cigs.
I feel like I'm back at square one.
I need to remember that e-cigs ARE NOT the same as cigs. They're there to help.
I think I leapt to quickly. Maybe I got too excited.
I'll try again tomorrow...WITH a pack of cigs. Baby steps.