The Joke Tread!
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We had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a "large" enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, "Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower." I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4. He said, "NO, it's not." Four is larger than two.." We haven't used Sears repair since.
Not really a joke, but I thought it was cute...
The Chocolate Rabbit
I got a chocolate rabbit
For an Easter treat,
A great big chocolate rabbit
Good enough to eat.
So I ate his ears on Sunday,
His nose I finished Monday.
Tuesday I nibbled on his feet.
I ate his tail on Wednesday
Thursday I kept on,
By Friday he was going,
Saturday he was gone.
Oh, I loved my chocolate rabbit
From the moment that he came,
And if I get another one,
I'll love him just the same.
~ Author Unknown
The Chocolate Rabbit
I got a chocolate rabbit
For an Easter treat,
A great big chocolate rabbit
Good enough to eat.
So I ate his ears on Sunday,
His nose I finished Monday.
Tuesday I nibbled on his feet.
I ate his tail on Wednesday
Thursday I kept on,
By Friday he was going,
Saturday he was gone.
Oh, I loved my chocolate rabbit
From the moment that he came,
And if I get another one,
I'll love him just the same.
~ Author Unknown
Q: Which bunnies were famous bank robbers?
A: Bunny and Clyde.................
A: Bunny and Clyde.................
The Easter Bunny was Killed!!
A man was blissfully driving along the highway, when he saw the Easter Bunny hopping across the middle of the road. He swerved to avoid hitting the Bunny, but unfortunately the rabbit jumped in front of his car and was hit. The basket of eggs went flying all over the place.
The driver, being a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulled over to the side of the road, and got out to see what had become of the Bunny carrying the basket. Much to his dismay, the colorful Bunny was dead. The driver felt guilty and began to cry.
A woman driving down the same highway saw the man crying on the side of the road and pulled over. She stepped out of her car and asked the man what was wrong.
"I feel terrible," he explained, "I accidentally hit the Easter Bunny and killed it. There may not be an Easter because of me. What should I do?"
The woman told the man not to worry. She knew exactly what to do. She went to her car trunk, and pulled out a spray can. She walked over to the limp, dead Bunny, and sprayed the entire contents of the can onto the little furry animal.
Miraculously the Easter Bunny came to back life, jumped up, picked up the spilled eggs and candy, waved its paw at the two humans and hopped on down the road. 50 yards away the Easter Bunny stopped, turned around, waved and hopped on down the road another 50 yards, turned, waved, hopped another 50 yards and waved again!
The man was astonished. He said to the woman: "What in heaven's name is in your spray can? What was it that you sprayed on the Easter Bunny?"
The woman turned the can around so that the man could read the label. It said: "Hair spray. Restores life to dead hair. Adds permanent wave."
A man was blissfully driving along the highway, when he saw the Easter Bunny hopping across the middle of the road. He swerved to avoid hitting the Bunny, but unfortunately the rabbit jumped in front of his car and was hit. The basket of eggs went flying all over the place.
The driver, being a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulled over to the side of the road, and got out to see what had become of the Bunny carrying the basket. Much to his dismay, the colorful Bunny was dead. The driver felt guilty and began to cry.
A woman driving down the same highway saw the man crying on the side of the road and pulled over. She stepped out of her car and asked the man what was wrong.
"I feel terrible," he explained, "I accidentally hit the Easter Bunny and killed it. There may not be an Easter because of me. What should I do?"
The woman told the man not to worry. She knew exactly what to do. She went to her car trunk, and pulled out a spray can. She walked over to the limp, dead Bunny, and sprayed the entire contents of the can onto the little furry animal.
Miraculously the Easter Bunny came to back life, jumped up, picked up the spilled eggs and candy, waved its paw at the two humans and hopped on down the road. 50 yards away the Easter Bunny stopped, turned around, waved and hopped on down the road another 50 yards, turned, waved, hopped another 50 yards and waved again!
The man was astonished. He said to the woman: "What in heaven's name is in your spray can? What was it that you sprayed on the Easter Bunny?"
The woman turned the can around so that the man could read the label. It said: "Hair spray. Restores life to dead hair. Adds permanent wave."
Four Friends
Four friends reunited at a party after 30 years. After a few laughs and drinks, one of them had to go to the rest room. The ones who stayed behind began to talk about their kids and their successes.
The first guy says: I am very proud of my son, he is my pride and joy. He started working at a very successful company at the bottom of the barrel. He studied Economics and Business Administration and soon he was promoted and began to climb the corporate ladder becoming the General Manager and now he is the president of the company. He became so rich that he gave his best friend a top of the line Mercedes Benz for his birthday.
The second guy says: Damn, thats terrific!! My son is also my pride and joy, I am very proud of him. He started working at a travel agency for a very big airline. He went to flight school to become a pilot and also managed to become a partner in the company where he now owns the majority of the assets. He became so rich that he gave his best friend a brand new jet for his birthday.
The third guy says: Well, well, well congratulations!! My son is also my pride and joy and he is also very rich. He studied in the best universities and became an Engineer. He started his own construction company and became very successful and a multimillionaire. He also gave away something very nice and expensive to his best friend for his birthday. He built a 30,000 sq ft mansion specially for his friend.
The three friends congratulated each other mutually for the successes of theirs sons.
The fourth friend who earlier had gone to restroom returned and asked: Whats going on, what are all the congratulations for?
One of the three said: We were talking about the pride we feel for the successes of our sons. And then he asked, What about your son?
The fourth man replied: My son is gay and he makes a living dancing as a stripper at a nightclub.
The three friends said: What a shame that must be, that is horrible, what a disappointment you must feel!
The fourth man replied: No, I am not ashamed. Not at all. He is my son and I love him just as well, he is my pride and joy. And he is very lucky too. Did you know that his birthday just passed and the other day he received a beautiful 30,000 sq ft mansion, a brand new jet and a top of the line Mercedes Benz from his three boyfriends!!
Four friends reunited at a party after 30 years. After a few laughs and drinks, one of them had to go to the rest room. The ones who stayed behind began to talk about their kids and their successes.
The first guy says: I am very proud of my son, he is my pride and joy. He started working at a very successful company at the bottom of the barrel. He studied Economics and Business Administration and soon he was promoted and began to climb the corporate ladder becoming the General Manager and now he is the president of the company. He became so rich that he gave his best friend a top of the line Mercedes Benz for his birthday.
The second guy says: Damn, thats terrific!! My son is also my pride and joy, I am very proud of him. He started working at a travel agency for a very big airline. He went to flight school to become a pilot and also managed to become a partner in the company where he now owns the majority of the assets. He became so rich that he gave his best friend a brand new jet for his birthday.
The third guy says: Well, well, well congratulations!! My son is also my pride and joy and he is also very rich. He studied in the best universities and became an Engineer. He started his own construction company and became very successful and a multimillionaire. He also gave away something very nice and expensive to his best friend for his birthday. He built a 30,000 sq ft mansion specially for his friend.
The three friends congratulated each other mutually for the successes of theirs sons.
The fourth friend who earlier had gone to restroom returned and asked: Whats going on, what are all the congratulations for?
One of the three said: We were talking about the pride we feel for the successes of our sons. And then he asked, What about your son?
The fourth man replied: My son is gay and he makes a living dancing as a stripper at a nightclub.
The three friends said: What a shame that must be, that is horrible, what a disappointment you must feel!
The fourth man replied: No, I am not ashamed. Not at all. He is my son and I love him just as well, he is my pride and joy. And he is very lucky too. Did you know that his birthday just passed and the other day he received a beautiful 30,000 sq ft mansion, a brand new jet and a top of the line Mercedes Benz from his three boyfriends!!
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