The Joke Tread!

[jj2]

The Sheriff pulls up next to the guy unloading garbage out of his pick-up into the ditch. The Sheriff asked, "Why are you dumping garbage in the ditch? Don't you see that sign right over your head." "Yep," he replies.

"That's why I am dumpin it here, cause it says 'Fine for dumping garbage.'

 

[Lynzy]

I found out I was a dyslexic when I turned up to a toga party dressed as a goat.

 

[jj2]

A senior at LSU was overheard saying... 'When the end of the world comes, I hope to be in Louisiana 'When asked why, he replied he'd rather be in Louisiana because everything happens in Louisiana 20 years later than in the rest of the civilized world.

 

[Lynzy]

"When the end of the world comes, I want to be in Cincinnati because it's always twenty years behind the times."
- This quote has been attributed to Mark Twain.

 

[jj2]

The young man from Mississippi comes running into the store and says to his buddy, 'Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the parking lot!'

Bubba replies, 'Did you see who it was?' The young man answers, 'I couldn't tell, but I got his license number.'

 

[Lynzy]

How do you keep people from stealing your bagels?

Put lox on them.

 

[jj2]

A Georgia State trooper pulled over a pickup on I- 75. The trooper asked, 'Got any I. D. ?' The driver replied, 'Bout whut?'

 

[Lynzy]

When life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic.

 

[jj2]

 

[jj2]

 

[liblue1]

Did you hear about the Hyena who drank a pint of gravy?

He was a laughing stock...............

 

[jj2]

 

[liblue1]

Why did the man dump ground beef on his head?

He wanted a meatier shower.................

 

[jj2]

 

[liblue1]

Why is the ocean blue?

Because all the little fish go blu, blu blu................

 

[jj2]

 

[liblue1]

What's it called when you lend money to a bison?

A BUFFA-LOAN.............

 

[jj2]

 

[RaceGun59]

Speeding Ticket.

Bill was having a midlife crisis and had purchased himself a fine red sports car. driving down the highway he went, 60,70,80. On the other side of the highway a state trooper past and immediately turned on light and turned around to give chase. 90, 100, 120.. Bill finally said this is crazy and pulls over. The trooper pulls in behind Bill and gets outs. Walking up to the car the trooper says "Sir, it's late and if I write you a ticket it's going to cost you a lot of money and me a lot of time. If you can tell me an excuse that I HAVEN"T heard before I will let you go."
Bill thought a moment and then calmly replied "Well officer" Bill said, "last week my wife ran away with a state trooper and I thought you were him bringing her back". The officer tipped his hat and laughed all the way back to his cruiser.

 

[liblue1]

Why did the rapper carry an umbrella?

Fo' drizzle................