The Joke Tread!
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"You didn't have to give me the cold shoulder" said the cannibal who was late for dinner.
A man in North Carolina has a flat tire, pulls off on the side of the road, and proceeds to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car and one behind it.
Then he gets back in the car to wait. A passerby studies the scene and is so curious he turns around and goes back. He asks the fellow what the problem is.
The man replies, 'I have a flat tire.' The passerby asked, 'But what's with the flowers?'
The man responded, 'When you break down they tell you to put flares in the front and flares in the back. Hey, it don't make no sense to me neither.'
Then he gets back in the car to wait. A passerby studies the scene and is so curious he turns around and goes back. He asks the fellow what the problem is.
The man replies, 'I have a flat tire.' The passerby asked, 'But what's with the flowers?'
The man responded, 'When you break down they tell you to put flares in the front and flares in the back. Hey, it don't make no sense to me neither.'
A collector of rare books ran into an acquaintance who told him he had just thrown away an old Bible that he found in a dusty, old box. He happened to mention that Guten-somebody-or-other had printed it.
"Not Gutenberg?" Gasped the collector.
"Yes, that was it!""You idiot! You've thrown away one of the first books ever printed.
A copy recently sold at an auction for half a million dollars!"
"Oh, I don't think this book would have been worth anything close to that much," replied the man. "It was scribbled all over in the margins by some guy named Martin Luther."
"Not Gutenberg?" Gasped the collector.
"Yes, that was it!""You idiot! You've thrown away one of the first books ever printed.
A copy recently sold at an auction for half a million dollars!"
"Oh, I don't think this book would have been worth anything close to that much," replied the man. "It was scribbled all over in the margins by some guy named Martin Luther."
What does a vegan zombie eat?
Graaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaains.......................
Graaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaains.......................
Two atoms are walking down the street together. The first atom turns and says, "Hey, you just stole an electron from me!"
"Are you sure?" asks the second atom.
To which the first atom replies, "Yeah, I'm positive!..............................
"Are you sure?" asks the second atom.
To which the first atom replies, "Yeah, I'm positive!..............................
Three Texas cowboys went to a steakhouse to eat. Each was trying to impress the others.
The first man ordered his steak "rare -- red rare."
The second said, "Just pass mine through the flames and singe it a little. I want to see blood dripping out of it."
Not to be outdone, the third man said, "Aw, just turn the bull loose and I'll tear off a hunk as he goes by."
The first man ordered his steak "rare -- red rare."
The second said, "Just pass mine through the flames and singe it a little. I want to see blood dripping out of it."
Not to be outdone, the third man said, "Aw, just turn the bull loose and I'll tear off a hunk as he goes by."
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