Today was a bad day

[SingedVapor]

Forgive me but I must rant for a moment.

Now I have never hid the fact that me and my father have never gotten along. I think I made it pretty clear when me and my brother left one day and got a restraining order against him and moved in with our grandparents. Well this year (I'm now 21 years old) my grandfather passed and I haven't been right since. We were pressured by the family to drop the restraining order and let him back into our lives which we did with gritting teeth. So once again he is back in our lives and giving commands. Well fast forward to today.

It was my first Saturday at Wendy's. Worked 7-2 and got off dirt tired physically and emotionally. Well after that I am met by my father who proceeded to tell me that ever since he walked into my room the other day (and saw my DIY station and all assortments of mods) that he had been "worrying" about me. (Let me be clear in the fact that he no longer lives with me) I live with my grandmother and younger brother now.

Then it began. He lectured me about all the vasts amounts of chemicals I was putting into my body. Saying how these things are vats of chemicals and that I need to go home and throw it all away. He went on and on about all the people that have supposedly died and how the market is unregulated and it's all poison. Then he told me a story about how one of his college students was using one and he got on to him everyday until he got him to stop. And I did... Nothing. None of my knowledge was I able to use. I just stood there frozen like when I was a kid again....

Forgive me but I needed to rant in the company of my reo friends.

 

[pennysmalls]

Singed- you don't have to say anything. You're 21 and you don't have to defend yourself. I'm not sure that it would have done any good anyway.

Dad may indeed be genuinely concerned about something he very obviously doesn't understand so in his mind he's trying to be the father he needs to be. I'm the parent of 3, aged 12-19, and I find myself "lecturing" my kids all the time. I worry about them and about all the stuff out there they are getting exposed to. So I can see where you're dad is coming from. But since you are 21 and you know what vaping is all about you'll probably have to set definite boundaries with him on this. He needs to understand that you are your own person now and make your own decisions/choices and he's pretty much not included in those decision making processes.

Good luck!

 

[Sloth Tonight]

^that. hang tight my friend. I dealt with my mom judging most things I did until she passed away last year. I loved her, but it was overbearing, especially on issues she didn't understand. stand firm in your beliefs and in your reasoning behind what you do. it's your body and unlike smoke, you're not potentially harming anybody else as you vape. so it is literally no one's business whether you vape or not, even your dad. be happy with yourself - you are an adult, and can make your own decisions and lifestyle choices. you should, as everybody should, be free of judgment - however, that's obviously not the case ATM but, to help make it the case in the future, don't let the judgment being passed on you manifest itself as judgment in others for anything they do that you disapprove of. that's the best advice I can give...don't let it rub off on you

 

[Raynman]

Not to worry the time will come again. I'm sure you will be pestered again and again. Arm yourself with the facts when it happens again go at him with guns blazing. Look at your CASAA banner and educate him on the facts. I don't know your Dad but if you stand up and back your words with facts you should gain much respect. And ask would you rather I smoked analogs and poisoned myself with 3000 chemicals from analog smoking. This might not be good advice if you have a hot head father so please use your better judgement.

 

[thewomenfolk]

Sounds like while you dad is lecturing you about vaping someone needs to be lecturing him about fathering. Your own conscience tells you right from wrong, and my advice is to heed only that and your God. And until your father can apologize for making his children miserable enough to have to get a restraining order, he needs to keep his opinions to himself. You don't need to be like him...just choose to be kind and be gentle instead and don't defend your vaping. His making it an argument is a trap. Let him go his way and you go yours. And in all things from here on just do the right thing and be a good man.

I'm a mother so that's what I'd tell you if you were my son.

 

[Mrs C]

It doesn't matter if the confrontation was over vaping or peanut butter sandwiches. Judges don't issue restraining orders against a child's parent without a very good reason. You are an adult, it's not his home, he crossed a boundary. Unfortunately there are toxic parents, my younger two children have one.

Take care of yourself and don't let anyone bully you.

 

[SingedVapor]

Thank you guys for all the sweet comments. You guys caring really brightened up my day. I'm so glad I joined this community

 

[greyfox]

Thank you guys for all the sweet comments. You guys caring really brightened up my day. I'm so glad I joined this community

Never doubt Singed, we have your back, always!

 

[thewomenfolk]

One more thing Singed....better lock up your vape stuff, or keep it out of harm's way. Be blessed.

 

[Sloth Tonight]

Peace, Singed...glad you're part of this community glad I am, too! wonderful people here. BTW your avi is SWEET!

 

[supertrunker]

My father is 5000 miles away for a reason. It's a distance we are both comfortable with. I think he's a bigoted tosser and he thinks i am a traitor to the country of my birth despite the fact he doesn't live in it.

My wife and my mother get on really well - and i just don't give a Tinker's cuss anymore. My life, my choices, my money.

You work hard - your life - your money - your choices. Take no s41T from anyone. ever.

T

 

[Sloth Tonight]

^with an avi like that, the OP better listen!

(seriously, that's an amazing avi man)

 

[supertrunker]

I'd be useless as a marriage guidance counsellor!



T

 

[SingedVapor]

Oh I plan on it. I'm gonna get a fancy VapeCase (I think that's the name of it) and put everything in it. Now I gotta figure out how to store my graduated cylinders and other assortments but keep them close enough to be used frequently

And I've loved your avi for a while now super trucker

 

[supertrunker]

awww!

T

 

[Just Me]

Your dad sounds exactly like my brother! I'm a 63 year old female, and my brother is 72. He's right, and I'm wrong. ALWAYS!

Singed, just keep on the right track for yourself, and you will make out just fine. Good life to you in the future, my friend!

 

[DoogieTony]

Do your own thing, Singed. The only person who knows how to run your life is you.

Avoid confrontation if possible, if not, show him some nice nursing homes that you've got picked out.

 

[SingedVapor]

Do your own thing, Singed. The only person who knows how to run your life is you.

Avoid confrontation if possible, if not, show him some nice nursing homes that you've got picked out.

If I could like that more than once I would!

 

[NatGasMan]

Just be true to yourself and nothing else matters.

I'm 50 and my dad is a righteous hole. We don't get along and I have learned to live with it. That is about as much as I wish to share, because he doesn't deserve any more of my time.

Like most have said, just do your own thing.

 

[supertrunker]

Father's day is going to be interesting this year!

T