Why have my farts...

[WarrLordd]

Doesn't Doctors tell you that it's not healthy to try keeping gas in your rare end. In other words your in a big office with mostly co-worked who hates you.. lol What are you going to do it you explode that day try your very best to squeeze it in? So it won't sound load or for whatever reason.. That is not healthy >.<

And also it's know that if it smells bad meaning your digestive system is letting you know that your healthy just missing a few stuff in your body that's all..

Reason babies when they do go off and it smells badly.

 

[ladysolitary85]

lol I love all the quotes and stories in here!

 

[aschmidy]

Oh my. Fart Humor! My husband is the best I have EVER met, part of the reason I married him . He has farting down to a science. He has seriously walked up a flight of stairs and farted as stepped on each step, every single one!!
His favorite is double doors, like entering a store. Enter one door, fart, and quickly, but innocently enter thru the second door. Hang around and watch for the next people to enter.
Second runner up: When I find something interesting in an store aisle, he will sneak up behind me and quietly say "you might want to be done looking at that". Which also means = RUN! It's going to smell soon.
We have an interesting life....

 

[bluesuede]

I learned to fart from my grandfather and my mother.

I drop air bombs and walk away, end result is I drag it but some times I can get it to hang for an unreal amount of time.

I still have to stay fairly close to the mom unit in the store, nothing beats her carrying on a conversation with a total stranger thinking it was me. She suddenly bent over to get something she dropped and let out this LOUD thunderous sonic boom with a gurgle follow through almost right in this poor slobs face. Bad thing is she did not miss a beat and was rattling on to the poor SOB who just got crop dusted.

I heard it 25' away and started roaring laughing, was her only tip off and she swung around, spied the poor dusting victim and the smell hit. MY GOD!! IT HIT ME 25' away and felt like my nose was on fire.

To this day she will not go in that store nor forgive me for cackling like a mad ........

OMG, I'm laughing so hard the tears are squirting outta my eyes!

 

[Dredbull]

So I have been vaping hardcore on 5 and 6v. besides the added turkey powered blasts they have some vicious hang time.

I have been killing my co workers with my sharing kindness this holiday season.

 

[Fire N Ice]

Just remember folks, don't hold your farts in. They will work their way up to your brain and become crappy ideas.

 

[SgtSten]

Bloody hell I have not laughed so much and so hard for a long time, tears are streaming down my face 8-o

 

[HighHeeledGoddess]

Yes, I did have this problem for about a month after giving up analogs. Its your body expelling the garbage from cigarettes out of it. I had "smokers flu" for a few weeks, too. It all goes away eventually.

 

[tribalmasters]

OMG, I'm laughing so hard the tears are squirting outta my eyes!

Hope nothing squirted out of the rear

 

[WebNetIncome]

Bloody hell I have not laughed so much and so hard for a long time, tears are streaming down my face 8-o

heheheeee, same here. Best thread ever.

 

[halonut]

I could go back 20 million years ago just to see, hear & smell a Brontosaurus rippin a 2 minute queef of rotting vegetation!

And thank you to all of you who reiterated what I have been telling my wife for years "holding your farts in is unhealthy"

Everyone with any common sense knows that is why women in general (and my wife in particular) are always sick!

I mean if you let out one tiny bubble every minute all that bad gas inside of you is definitely going to pollute your blood & make you ill!
​

 

[Redd]

...but this has been the highlight of my reading experience on this forum so far. Some of you posters should give up your day jobs and take up comedy. My son came in and told me to breathe I was laughing (and crying) so hard.

Thanks for the laughs people!

 

[athlon14]

Oh yeah8-o More of them and more Stink

 

[notsoogood]

Oh yeah8-o More of them and more Stink

I can vouch for athlon14!8-o Way more stink!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[scrooby]

Wasn't it George Carlin who said something like "Did you ever notice that your own farts smell ok?"

I don't know if I would say our own smell good or not but I was in a car with my 7 year old nephew this past summer when he let one go and I had to pull over and get out because I started to vomit

 

[halonut]

well Scrooby...

I'm sure that 15-20 years from now your nephew will probably be bragging about it at the ECF!

 

[scrooby]

well Scrooby...

I'm sure that 15-20 years from now your nephew will probably be bragging about it at the ECF!

lol he was laughing about it then and he is already bragging about it being so powerful

 

[martha1014]

Men laugh about their farts and are proud of them. I think women are totally opposite. It is quite embarressing when a woman farts or as we call it passing gas. I was always told that farting was unlady like. Why can't we fart just like men and get laughs, etc.

 

[Darmeen]

Why can't we fart just like men and get laughs, etc.

maybe you are hanging in the wrong crowd...some of the best crop dusters I have known were women...my mother included!

 

[maureengill]

Ok, I haven't changed diet.. the only thing that's different about me is I don't smoke anymore.

8-o8-o8-oWhy on God's green earth do my farts smell so rank lately? 8-o8-o8-o

Edit: My avatar looks like he just smelled one of my winners.

Because you're s*** stinks

Maureen