Ah well, gentlemen, the secret to a long and contented relationship is to
accept that everything is your fault. Whether you were there or not; whether you were involved or not, whether you actually spoke or not, it is your fault. The key thing is simply to
accept that. No amount of protest or resistance will alter that. You must accept it. That way lies contentment. And you can then puff away happily on your e-cig. Resistance is futile and only causes grief.
