www.GreenhouseOne.com | FREE eLiquid Sample Pack (31 Favors)

[Optimo]

As a drunk guy staggers out of the bar one Friday evening, a fire engine races past, siren wailing and lights flashing.

Immediately, the drunk starts chasing the engine, running as fast as he can until eventually he collapses, gasping for breath.

In a last act of desperation he shouts after the fire engine, "If that's the way you want it, you can keep your bloody ice creams!"

 

[tyleris12]

Everyone should buy from GH1 because of their low prices and great selection!

 

[Uncle]

Who is the most popular guy at the nudist colony?

The guy who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and at least a dozen donuts.

 

[thughes]

Someone should shop at GH1 because of their great prices!

 

[dmdonald2]

0 to 200 in 6 seconds
Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was
really mad.

She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the
driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"

The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke
up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box
gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.

Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought
the box back in the house.

She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Bob has been missing since Friday.

 

[Natalia]

UNDERSTANDING WOMEN
(A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)

I know I'm not going to understand women.
I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root,and still be afraid of a spider.

 

[Optimo]

A teenager with a brand new license was mailed a picture of his car speeding through an automated radar. A $50 speeding ticket was included. Being cute, he sent the police department a picture of $50. The police responded with another mailed photo-of handcuffs.

 

[Lauralie]

What medicine would you give an ill ant?
Antibiotics!

 

[kritter]

You should shop at GH1 because it will make you happy!!

 

[MASTER0FDAMPF]

A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a broom and a mop...

Thanks for the contest GH1

 

[Uncle]

Seems that God was just about done creating the Universe. The Lord had a couple of leftovers in his bag of creations, so he stopped by to visit Adam and Eve in the Garden. He told the couple that one of the things he had to give away was the ability to urinate while standing up. "It can be very handy," God explained to Adam and Eve. "Would either of you like that ability?"

Adam popped a cork. He jumped up and begged, "Oh, give that to me! It seems the sort of thing a man should be able to do. Please, Lord, let me have that ability. I would be forever grateful."

Eve just smiled and shook her head at Adam's display. She told God that if Adam really wanted it so badly, then she really wouldn't mind if he were the one given the ability to urinate while standing up.

And so, the Lord gave Adam the ability to urinate while standing up. Then, He looked back into his bag of leftover gifts. "Now, what have we here? Oh, yes, multiple orgasms..."


P.S. Just could not pass posting this one . . .

 

[Incognito™]

Q. Did you hear about the new blonde paint?
A. It's not real bright, but its cheap, and spreads easy.

 

[Natalia]

WIFE VS. HUSBAND

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position.

As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"

"Yep", the wife replied, "in-laws."

 

[Optimo]

A rich and bored millionaire teen decides to throw a huge party for his 19th birthday, so during this party he grabs a microphone and he announces to his guests that down in the garden of his mansion he has a large swimming pool with two great white sharks in it. "I will give anything they desire of mine, to the person who swims across that pool." So the party continues with nothing happening in the pool, until suddenly, there is a great splash and all the guests of the party run to the pool to see what has happened. In the pool there is a big guy and he is swimming as hard as he can, and the fins come out of the water and the jaws are snapping and this guy just keeps on going and the sharks are gaining on him and this guy reaches the end and he gets out of the pool, tired and soaked. The host takes the microphone and says, "I keep my word, you can ask for anything of mine and I will give it to you, my Porsche, my castle in Ireland, or anything, you are the bravest man I have ever seen. So friend what will it be?" The millionaire kid asks. The guy grabs the microphone and says, "Why don't we start with the name of the ....... that pushed me in!"

 

[Odium]

How does a woman know the man is cheating on her?

He starts bathing twice a week.

 

[thughes]

Someone should shop at GH1 because of their great prices!

 

[kritter]

A man goes to see a wizard and says 'can you lift a curse that was put on me years ago ?' 'Maybe,' says the wizard, 'if you can remember the exact words of the curse ?' The man replies without hesitation 'I pronounce you man and wife ...'

 

[Incognito™]

Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says "I’m lonely. I wish my friends were back here."

 

[Optimo]

A father came home from a long business trip to find his son riding a new 21 speed mountain bike. "Where did you get the money for the bike? It must have cost $300," he asked. "Easy, Dad," little Johnny replied. "I earned it hiking." "Come on Johnny," the father said. "Tell me the truth." "That is the truth!" Johnny replied. "Every night you were gone, Mom's boss, Mr. Reynolds, would come over to see Mom. He'd give me a $20 bill and tell me to take a hike!"

 

[Natalia]

Life Lesson:

If at first you don’t succeed, parachuting is not for you.