A family issue in D minor

[Racehorse]

This really ticked me off. To the point that the rest of the visit was ruined.

And that was your choice.


I think you already caught yourself in your last sentence.


I used to get in traffic jams on way to work, and have drivers do really mean stuff (easy to do when cut off from face to face relating to other humans) and I would get to work in a bad mood. Then a coworker told me I didn't have to let that ruin my day, or even one minute, and I realized how simple that advice was.

It is obvious you love and respect your Mom...and I'm sure it is out of love for you that she "worries". All parents are gonna worry about their children, even when they are not children anymore.

Being as close to losing my Mom as I am right now, due to advanced emphesema, there's not much (if anything) that I would allow to ruin even one nano-second with her.

Every moment is precious.......and borrowed time.

 

[the_vape_nerd]

And that was your choice.


I think you already caught yourself in your last sentence.


I used to get in traffic jams on way to work, and have drivers do really mean stuff (easy to do when cut off from face to face relating to other humans) and I would get to work in a bad mood. Then a coworker told me I didn't have to let that ruin my day, or even one minute, and I realized how simple that advice was.

It is obvious you love and respect your Mom...and I'm sure it is out of love for you that she "worries". All parents are gonna worry about their children, even when they are not children anymore.

Being as close to losing my Mom as I am right now, due to advanced emphesema, there's not much (if anything) that I would allow to ruin even one nano-second with her.

Every moment is precious.......and borrowed time.

She's in her early 60s and you are very right about this. I'm fortunate enough to still have my grandmother as well. I guess in the bigger picture here, these small moments of discontent don't mean much.

Your traffic analogy is well-reasoned.

Thank you all. I read every single reply here. They've all helped.

 

[wandawag]

your mama is always gonna be your mama...she has your best interest at heart and she thinks she is doing the right thing. you did right by not bringing up her shortcomings....she was just doing her job as mama. continue to vape and if she says anything else, tell her that you have researched it thouroughly enough to satisfy you and the health care professionals, so you are satisfied with continuing what you are doing....without getting angry....she is doing her mama job. congrats to you!

 

[peakcomm]

If the subject comes up again, try answering (with absolutely NO snark and maybe a hug-and-peck, as well), "Thanks, Mom. I love you, too."

I'm about the same age as your mother ... and that's how I still answer MY mother when she oversteps.

She will always be your mother and will always feel compelled to tell you when she's afraid you're making a mistake. Just acknowledge that the comment comes from a place of caring, without accepting it as valid. You know you've made the right choice. Eventually, she may see that as well. Or not. But she'll still care about you. Don't throw that away.

 

[RosaJ]

Next time you get together with her and she brings up the subject, just tell her that you would rather not discuss your vaping again in the future because you want your time together to be enjoyable for the both of you. Some of us moms sometimes never get out of the mindset of telling our kids what to do. Just agree to disagree and change the subject of the conversation to something more enjoyable.