That's rough, when you lose someone so suddenly. That's how my friend went, too. It was a shock, but I had to think it was better for her to die so quickly, rather than suffering for a long time. She didn't leave small children behind, which makes it so much sadder. I know how you feel, Chief, because I mourned her for a long time. She and I used to ride our horses together a few times a week, and she was more experienced with horses than I was, and she never hesitated to come to where I boarded Penny to look at a bump or scrape and offer advice. She was a very kind-hearted person, very generous with her time and help to her friends. She was expert at driving horses as well as riding, and I took a few driving lessons from her, since I had never done that. She studied driving with Michael Poulin, I think, one of the Poulins, anyway, who are in Maine and are experts with horses. She won lots of driving competitions as well as competitive trail rides, which is what she was mainly into when I met her, and we conditioned our horses together. She taught me about conditioning a horse.
Not only that, but we'd talk on the phone for hours in the evening when she got home from work. She didn't have a computer, so I'd often look up horse info for her online.
Once a year, she'd gather all her friends and organize a trip to a place in Rochester, NY, that sold horse stuff really cheap. We'd get together and shop and then have lunch together, talking horses all the while. She introduced me to a lot of the horse people in the area.
You can see how someone who figured this much in my life was a huge loss to me. She had been complaining of not feeling well. It sounded like the flu at first, and she went to the doctor about it, but the doctor just said drink plenty of fluids and get plenty of rest. She worked as a school bus driver, and I wondered if she caught something like mononucleosis from the kids. I reminded her of the story of my daughter who had similar symptoms and I thought it was mono, but it turned out to be thalassemia, an iron deficiency. I suggested she insist on a blood test. She went back to the doctor, the blood was drawn, and it turned out she had leukemia. They rushed her to Strong Memorial Hospital in Rochester, which is better able to take care of serious stuff like this than our local hospital. I went to visit her once; the next week, when I planned to make the 75-mile drive, she was dead. When I visited her, she seemed in some discomfort but not on death's door. I was amazed that she went so quickly. But it was a blessing, since I dread getting old and sick and being in a hospital, hurting, for months before I die. Going quickly is the better route for the person who is dying, though it leaves those behind more unprepared for the loss. I can only think that my unrest at her loss is a lot less than the pain and agony she might have suffered if she hung on long enough for me to get used to the idea.
I hope sharing my story will help you, Chief. I really do know what you're going through, having been there, done that.
And now, on a lighter note: Up On The Roof, The Drifters 1962 - YouTube
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