Ahw! Thank you for watchin my back Free!! Your a true friend... I will start eating better in a day or so!!!
SC
P.S. love your avie! very creative!!
Yeah it is creative. Too bad I don't create instead of steal. LOL
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Yeah it is creative. Too bad I don't create instead of steal. LOL
Two old boys from up in town named Bubba and Earl were driving down the road, drinking a couple of beers.
Bubba, said, "Looky thar up ahead Earl. It`s a po-leece roadblock. We`re gonna get busted fer drinkin` these here beers!"
"Don`t worry Bubba," Earl said. "We`ll just pull over and finish drinkin` these beers, peel off the label and stick it on our foreheads, then throw the bottles under the seat."
"What fer?" asked Bubba.
"Just let me do the talking, okay?" said Earl.
They finished their beers, threw the empty bottles under the seat and slapped the labels on their foreheads.
When they reached the roadblock, the sheriff said, "Have you boys been drinking?"
"No sir." said Earl. "We`re on the patch."
Bubba, said, "Looky thar up ahead Earl. It`s a po-leece roadblock. We`re gonna get busted fer drinkin` these here beers!"
"Don`t worry Bubba," Earl said. "We`ll just pull over and finish drinkin` these beers, peel off the label and stick it on our foreheads, then throw the bottles under the seat."
"What fer?" asked Bubba.
"Just let me do the talking, okay?" said Earl.
They finished their beers, threw the empty bottles under the seat and slapped the labels on their foreheads.
When they reached the roadblock, the sheriff said, "Have you boys been drinking?"
"No sir." said Earl. "We`re on the patch."
TT your mind must truly be fun to visit
LOL, you need to come in there and look around dahlin.'
You wouldn't believe.
You just wouldn't believe.
TT
I'm gonna have to try that with a Scotch label. The local po-dunk just might buy it lol.....................
....or make sure to keep a roll of Scotchtape visible in your vehicle.
So today me and my neighbor, old Jack Schitt were walking down the dirt road in front of my house.
And doctor, I swear, there was a great, big, huge Bigfoot laying right there in the middle of the road!
And the last words out of Jack's mouth were ...
"TT, do you think its dead or just sleeping ..."
And doctor, I swear, there was a great, big, huge Bigfoot laying right there in the middle of the road!
And the last words out of Jack's mouth were ...
"TT, do you think its dead or just sleeping ..."
A man from up there in town was driving down our dirt road road one day at 45 miles per hour when suddenly he noticed a 3-legged chicken running at the same speed beside his truck.
The guy from town thought this was odd and he decided to speed up so he wouldn't cause an accident with the chicken.The man sped up to 55 miles per hour, but low and behold, so did the 3-legged chicken. The man then sped up to 65 miles per hour only to again be equaled in speed by the 3-legged chicken.
As the man watched in amazement, the chicken suddenly made a sharp left turn and took off down a side road toward our place. The man quickly also made the left turn and followed the chicken to the farm, parking out front.
Looking around the man found me around back in the midst of many 3-legged chickens. After the usual "howdies" the man asked me why I was raising 3-legged chickens. "Well we figure, that with an average family of 3 people, only 2 can have a chicken leg with an average chicken. But with a three legged chicken, each member of the family can enjoy a chicken leg of their own."
"That's pretty wise," said the man, who then asked "Well how do your 3-legged chickens taste?"
"I don't know," I said.
"We've never been able to catch one."
TT
The guy from town thought this was odd and he decided to speed up so he wouldn't cause an accident with the chicken.The man sped up to 55 miles per hour, but low and behold, so did the 3-legged chicken. The man then sped up to 65 miles per hour only to again be equaled in speed by the 3-legged chicken.
As the man watched in amazement, the chicken suddenly made a sharp left turn and took off down a side road toward our place. The man quickly also made the left turn and followed the chicken to the farm, parking out front.
Looking around the man found me around back in the midst of many 3-legged chickens. After the usual "howdies" the man asked me why I was raising 3-legged chickens. "Well we figure, that with an average family of 3 people, only 2 can have a chicken leg with an average chicken. But with a three legged chicken, each member of the family can enjoy a chicken leg of their own."
"That's pretty wise," said the man, who then asked "Well how do your 3-legged chickens taste?"
"I don't know," I said.
"We've never been able to catch one."
TT
How do you ever remember all of these interesting things that happen to you? Ut oh, maybe I shouldn't have asked lol
My guess is that it may have something to do with a headlight and a jock strap
My guess is that it may have something to do with a headlight and a jock strap
How do you ever remember all of these interesting things that happen to you? Ut oh, maybe I shouldn't have asked lol
My guess is that it may have something to do with a headlight and a jock strap
No, no, no ... its not a headlight and a jock strap.
Its a headlight and a Lemonade Stand!
Geesch!
But that reminds me.
Tomorrow I want to put on my Depends Adult Underwear and run by the airport and get patted down.
That is just sooo thrilling!
TT
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Well that all depends So a headlight and lemonade stand help to keep your memory intact? Maybe I should give it a whirl because I can't remember chit
So a headlight and lemonade stand help to keep your memory intact? Maybe I should give it a whirl because I can't remember chit
Well that all depends
LOL, my wife's favorite (only?) expressions she uses on a daily and constant basis are:
"remind me" and
"don't let me forget."
So you know what? I don't do either one of those!!!
Sure makes for some interesting events around here! LOL!
TT
LOL, Sdh, you know EXACTLY what I'm talking about don't you???
Don't you????
Admit it!!!!
TT
That is so funny TT! I am constantly telling my husband that! What really makes it bad is that he has some (slight) damage to his brain from a very severe illness several years ago. His long term memory is great but his short term memory is not very good. So I tell him, hey remind me to...........
well nevermind lol. Or I say on the off chance that you might remember .......... lol
I suspect life would be very boring if we all had the same intelligence quotient and the same ability recall events. Its these differences that make us what we are, just real people. And that's okay.
TT
TT
A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in their bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him.
She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.
"What's the matter, dear?" she whispers as she steps into the room. "Why are you down here at this time of night?"
The husband looks up from his coffee. "I am just remembering when we first met 20 years ago and started dating. You were only 16. Do you remember back then?" he asks solemnly.
The wife is touched to tears thinking that her husband is so caring, so sensitive. "Yes, I do" she replies.
The husband pauses. The words were not coming easily. "Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car?"
"Yes, I remember," said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.
The husband continues. "Do you remember when he shoved that shotgun in my face and said, "Either you marry my daughter, or I will send you to jail for 20 years?"
"I remember that too" she replies softly.
He wipes another tear from his cheek and says...
"I would have gotten out today."
She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.
"What's the matter, dear?" she whispers as she steps into the room. "Why are you down here at this time of night?"
The husband looks up from his coffee. "I am just remembering when we first met 20 years ago and started dating. You were only 16. Do you remember back then?" he asks solemnly.
The wife is touched to tears thinking that her husband is so caring, so sensitive. "Yes, I do" she replies.
The husband pauses. The words were not coming easily. "Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car?"
"Yes, I remember," said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.
The husband continues. "Do you remember when he shoved that shotgun in my face and said, "Either you marry my daughter, or I will send you to jail for 20 years?"
"I remember that too" she replies softly.
He wipes another tear from his cheek and says...
"I would have gotten out today."
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