Chit Chattin away!

[daisyd]

Yeah... I know. Civilian life is tough... I've been out for some time and even with friends (this is for you Dog), I've been known to slip back into my old life and come off gruff, although I'm still getting better.

I did call, I did apologize, I asked for her help in dealing with those situations in the future. I explained to her that it was wrong me of me to go from 0-60 when getting pushback after given clear objectives and resolution to an obstacle that she can overcome (with detailed instruction/input). I'm not nice enough, that's something I need to work on. I'm not running a fire team or a squad anymore and I need to understand that people (except those with similar backgrounds) don't respond to the same type of direction/motivation.

Dog can attest, I like things to just get done (sometimes in a particular way, but that's my OCD). He handles it pretty well since I think he understands me, similar background and all (he was a tank guy and Army, but don't hold that against him ). I need to remember that we are teammates and that failed mission objectives, in our current state, won't cost lives. The little voice in the back of my head is saying, "When it really counts, all mission objectives are critical and they need to be met at all times". I need to ignore that voice until it's relevant and things really are life/death.

Good news is, I can be extra snarky to Dog on the upcoming shoot. I'll hold all my angst until then and unload on him

I have to say Clay. Your instructions were not completely clear in what you wanted. The reason I was successful in the military was because I am really good at following even the most minute detail in instructions. I likely would have asked the question on the phone, gotten the answer and then handed the phone to you for the rest. It's not an inability to get things done, in this case, it's a lack of communication from you on what you needed. If you had said "I know it's not this, this or this. Can you call and find out what else it could be?" then she would likely have been more successful. You need to treat her like it's her first day of boot (minus the yelling of course) Not like she's out in the field relying on her training. (Personally my dh would get a boot up his ... if he treated me like he was my CO in the first place, but if that's the analogy we're working with...) I do understand your feelings on this. My family would FAIL any random inspections, even if the inspector were drunk. And it drives me nuts, but I deal, and try to work with them to get them up to my standards. Civilians just don't understand the way of thinking. Try to remember your first week of boot camp. That moment when you looked around and wondered what exactly you had gotten yourself into.

 

[pwyll]

my chatter box has gone a wall. my keyboard has seen its last day at battle. i am limited to on screen key board. pita. if i type it lks lik this. S many kys arnt rking. argh.

mission aborted.

Bn thr,don tht.

My wife had the "3" go out on a phone once. She is a massage therapist and uses her phone to schedule, remind and confirm appointments. Here in Frankfort, over half the prefixes have threes in them (223, 234, 237, 873, &c.)

It took almost two months to save up the money to replace her phone (a $20 Walmart special)--I am *so* glad our financial situation has improved in the last nine years

 

[pchela]

Pc, I know. I'm a pretty gentle soul and easy going, except under the right circumstances. Those circumstances will never be present at home, unless she starts lobbing grenades and popping 7.62s my way. SWMBO knows I'm a gentle soul, I think she's equally frustrated that she's not a "take charge" kind of person. I'd love her to be that way, but I love her the way she is as well. She knows I do pretty much everything and wants to take some of the burden off of my shoulders, she's just concerned about failing. No matter how much I reassure her that failures happen, they are learning experiences and they aren't permanent, her mother's issues have probably irreparably damaged her.

She sounds a lot like me. Those insecurities really suck and I feel guilty about them on top of feeling inadequate. I'd bet she feels the same. Yay for mommy issues! We all have moments when we snap at our loved ones. I know I do. Sorry if I misunderstood and bit your head off. Perhaps she and I are both lucky to have found good, understanding men.

 

[MagnusEunson]

I bought Ceridwen a bunch of Disney gear and I'm taking my little girl out to dinner. She wanted something with candles. That was her request so I made reservations as an upscale restaurant and told them I'm bringing a toddler. They told me no. I told them yes. I name dropped because I will stoop that low. And we're leaving momentarily. ;-)

-Magnus

 

[keyzygirl]

Your an awesome Daddy!

 

[BiancaMontgomery]

You da man, Magnus, you da man.

So...today we had a potential adopter for our cat, Sydney, come by and look at her today. He brought his full grown Pit Bull. Sydney is still here. =\ Damn.

 

[daisyd]

My cat growing up was named Sydney. Short for obsidian because he was jet black.

 

[BiancaMontgomery]

My Sydney is also jet black.

 

[BiancaMontgomery]

She looks mean, but she's so so sweet!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/87267225@N00/5436830664/ http://www.flickr.com/people/87267225@N00/

I raised her from one day old:


http://www.flickr.com/photos/87267225@N00/148734501/ http://www.flickr.com/people/87267225@N00/

 

[ClayK]

For the record, I loved Boot. My father, also a Marine, basically prepared me all my life for the Marine Corps through osmosis. I had the junk on the bunk, field day inspections, etc growing up. Boot for me was a breeze, part of the reason I was Meritoriously promoted at graduation and subsequent times in the Fleet. I think my father was surprised that I went into the Marine Corps and probably a little disappointed that I didn't wait until after college.

I don't expect (or want) to give her directions or instructions, I'd rather she problem solve and think for herself. That's part of that mommy issue that she (and her sibling) has/have. They are so fearful of rejection or failure that they are afraid to try or afraid to think independently. Granted, Bex is better than her sister, probably because I've helped to some degree (which she acknowledges). I don't want to say she doesn't have any critical thinking or problem solving skills, it's just that she has repressed them.

Prior to her, I predominately dated women with extremely strong personalities. She has a strong personality, but it's buried under a layer of insecurity. It's like when I coached kids at the high school level and could see their potential, but no they aren't applying themselves. Granted, those are different types of relationships (mentor vs partner).

She does dish out when I screw up or don't pull my weight (there's actually a pretty funny story Dog has about that). Regardless, I cooked dinner tonight and cleaned up (part of my self-induced penance). Now I'm cleaning up the living room while she plays on the trampoline with the kids (in between typing this). I usually save all my built up frustration from my marriage to unload on Dog, mostly because he takes it well. I'll have to apply some of that this weekend

 

[daisyd]

Well I guess that's two of us for boot camp (I had the meritorious advancement as well ). I was expecting a lot worse going in, so I never had a problem. I just saw a LOT of people who did. Your first post sounded a lot like my mom and dad in a crisis. My mom's problem is PTSD from her childhood. She disassociates in a crisis. My dad was raised by an army man, and was told the day his mom was admitted to the psych ward that it was his and his siblings fault. I will say though, that it sounds like you are far more well adjusted than dad is. He would NEVER apologize for "expecting normal behavior" from my mom. I would say that, as long as she wants your help in getting better at handling things, then guiding her in that goal is a good thing. My dh found out the hard way that trying to teach me to do something that I have little to no interest in getting better at results in my not participating in that activity at all, ever. Even if I used to do it. (Playing pool comes to mind as an example).
Patience is key. And I agree with the need to sometimes let her figure out her own way to do things. On something relatively no-critical, just let her know the ultimate goal and allow her to figure out the best way to do it. That builds more confidene in a person than simply following directions does.

 

[jordonm41]

She looks mean, but she's so so sweet!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/87267225@N00/5436830664/ http://www.flickr.com/people/87267225@N00/

I raised her from one day old:


http://www.flickr.com/photos/87267225@N00/148734501/ http://www.flickr.com/people/87267225@N00/

She is sooo pretty. I wish Ron would let me have a cat or a dog...... but we both like to travel and it wouldn't be fair to the pet.
I said aftr Cody was gone no more kids or pets now it's time for motherinlaws and sisters

 

[pwyll]

She looks mean, but she's so so sweet!

No, she merely looks content in that photo.

 

[keyzygirl]

My 1st outing since surgery went well.I walked fairly straight back and forth to the car and the kids enjoyed the icecream.Now Im tired,lol!

 

[Darkwitless]

Glad you enjoyed your outing Keyz!

We're having a late dinner here - BLT's. I'm being a slacker mom. ;-)

 

[jordonm41]

House clean ...check hair and make up done......check...... yard done...check ok now i'm ready for my baby to come home have a great weekend everybody thinkin I'll be busy in about 30 min. wink wink

 

[pchela]

Yay! Glad your first post surgery outing was a success Keyz!

 

[MagnusEunson]

Keyzy, I think the key is MOAR icecream. You'll heal faster that way. -Magnus

 

[MagnusEunson]

Pchela's new avatar is very much approved, yes it is. -Magnus

 

[pchela]

Awww thanks!