On a side note.. I wanted to just say hey, and explain my absence here lately.
First off, its me, not you all!
You guys are wonderful (for the most part) and have truly been good friends to me throughout some troubling and trying times in my life. And I hope that shall continue for some time to come.
I normally am a forum junkie/addict, as they tend to help fill a void... and that void is loneliness. I have suffered from either being extremely lonely or fearing being lonely much of my life. Recently, I realized that the void really wasn't there anymore. And that I was comfortable being by myself. That it was enjoyable at times. It made me think of how so much of my life, I have depended on others for feelings that I am the sole person responsible. This has happened in forums pretty healthily but in relationships often not so healthily. Something clicked where I realized that I didn't need to seek externally for my happiness or feelings or satisfaction. It has been a long time coming, and something that I believe has in a way 'completed' me.
Now don't get me wrong... I am still going to be around.. and likely pretty often.. its just that I don't 'need' to come here now. Just like I don't need a romantic relationship. That being said... its nice to be able to pursue things because you want them, not because you need them.
So here I am... and sorry for my absence.. but I promise its for the best.. and I also promise to not be a stranger.
You guys are awesome!
and so as not to thread derail...
back to more celebration for the birthday 'boy'.