Actually now that I think about it my kinkajou (avatar) squirted me more than any of my 3 girls did LOL.
Did this ever happen to you, parents?
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I thought I would too, but I held my stomach down quite well despite some of the crap I've borne witness to. It changes a person being that intimate with other people's innards. Granted, I was in a podunk town where 8 times out of 10 it was someone coming in for some narcotics for their "migraine" while they were fully functional and joking with their buddies they came in with.
There were certainly the bad ones though.
orion" data-source="post: 1369145" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch">orion said:I have two girls, 4 & 7 now, but I'll tell you what happened isn't rare.
My oldest pride & joy decided (not sure it was conscious, may have been primal instinct) on her precious 6th day of life to have a screamfest after she filled her diaper. I promptly took her to the changing table thinking she must be getting a rash (new mom, ok).
I cleaned her, and was making a 3 point shot into the trash can with her diaper when I heard a weird noise. I looked at her and freaked out because she was turning purple. Well....I yelled for my husband and went into new mom panic mode. About 5 second later...I don't even know how to describe this.....she shot poop 4 feet straight out onto the wall....8-o. Yes, it "shot". Yes it was awful. Yes I tell her the story all the time.
Yes, I measured as soon as I could pick my chin up off the floor and put my eyes back in my head.
And needless to say, I've changed many, many "interesting" diapers since and my 4 year old did the same thing, except she was 5 days old, it was on the couch and it went across my lap onto the armrest
And remember, you will always have a good story to tell your child when he gets older. grab the febreeze, open the windows, and occupy yourself in another room
When my son was about 5 months old he did somthing like this. I put him on the changing table to change his wet diaper.The table used to sit in front of the widow and the blinds were shut. I got the diaper off and was putting it in the genie when I heard him fart. I looked up just in time to see the sideways fountain shoot across and hit the wall. Poo has a mind of it's own and doesn't like hitting just one thing. I got hit, the blinds got hit and the end of the changing table was covered. My wife came rushing into the room asking what was wrong. Evidently the boy and I were both screaming (I don't remember that part). Word of advice, alway have another diaper on hand and ready to put on as soon as you take the other off and get the .... clean.
Oh yes. The oldest child had some of the most horrid, sticky BMs on the planet. I went to the OB for my first checkup and proudly went to hand him to the doc who delivered him. He had poo from the top of his head to his feet. Considering it was in an office and I was armed only with wipes, it took a good 30 minutes to clean him off. The girl on the other hand, had gas so foul it made her father's eyes water. They always seem to be the SBD type. We were driving in the winter (so the windows were up) and I swear the car filled with green fog. We had to open the windows and stick our heads out to breathe. Her brother laughed himself silly.
The worst I ever had to deal with was at work. An ostomy gone haywire literally becomes a geyser. Luckily, it didn't hit my face but it pretty much coated some part of the room from floor to ceiling, including the front of my scrubs. Most of the nursey types here will understand when I say I'd rather clean up poo than deal with snot. Gack!
The worst I ever had to deal with was at work. An ostomy gone haywire literally becomes a geyser. Luckily, it didn't hit my face but it pretty much coated some part of the room from floor to ceiling, including the front of my scrubs. Most of the nursey types here will understand when I say I'd rather clean up poo than deal with snot. Gack!
I have 3 kids, 2 boys ages 15 and 6 with one beautiful little princess age 9.
I'm here to tell you it doesn't stop when they are potty trained. As a baby she would pick just the right moment to have a .... explosion. Like at a party, just when the hostess gets a chance to sit down and hold my little angle. She managed to get the hostess, chair, table, and carpet covered in poop. This little girl can now give birth to a full size baby out her ..... We laugh at those commercials for the no clog toilets, because they are just no challenge for my tiny little angle. She now knows to just warn us when she is going to poop in the toilet, so we can gather up the gear needed to unclog the toilet after her. Which include a gas mask, heavy duty plunger, febreeze, and candles.
Welcome to parenthood.
I'm here to tell you it doesn't stop when they are potty trained. As a baby she would pick just the right moment to have a .... explosion. Like at a party, just when the hostess gets a chance to sit down and hold my little angle. She managed to get the hostess, chair, table, and carpet covered in poop. This little girl can now give birth to a full size baby out her ..... We laugh at those commercials for the no clog toilets, because they are just no challenge for my tiny little angle. She now knows to just warn us when she is going to poop in the toilet, so we can gather up the gear needed to unclog the toilet after her. Which include a gas mask, heavy duty plunger, febreeze, and candles.
Welcome to parenthood.
My husband always says, "it's an extension of your own poop..." Sometimes that guy bugs me.
LOLOLOLOL!!
Parents can talk about their kids bowel functions for daaaaayyyssss
And like someone pointed out, it doesn't stop after potty training ;-)
Case in point, My darling cousin when she was 9 years old (yes the daughter of the ER farter), went to a pizza buffet with my sister, they walked because it was right across the street from my Mom's condo. On the way back they both had rumbley stomachs and were racing for the door. My sister yelled out to her not to run through the house in the dark. but she didn't listen.
She took off thru the door, took off for the bathroom, got a foot outside the door, tripped and landing 6 inches from the toilet and all hell broke loose. A horrible defeat mere inches from the potty
My sister has threatened to tell the story with more detail at her wedding one day (she is an adult now)
When our son was about 2ish he had the same deal. We ended up duct taping the diapers. (Not TO him, just around him
) We also cut the feet of some of his little feet-y pj's. We would put these feet-less one pieces on him backward and zip it up. The take a safety pin and put it through the hole in the zipper behind him, and tape the mess down so he couldn't get to it and hurt himself.
Ain't being a dad just swell???
My first (boy) decided to use his, um, "stuff" as finger paints and promptly went to work on the wall next to his crib.
Now had the picture he'd drawn just been a field of cows, things would have jived.....
My first (boy) decided to use his, um, "stuff" as finger paints and promptly went to work on the wall next to his crib.
Now had the picture he'd drawn just been a field of cows, things would have jived.....
When my son was 9 months old I was changing him in the middle of the living room, on the floor, on a baby blanket, with a group of friends and family present. What happened next ..........well the words "fire hydrant blast of poop" spring to mind. Two fire hydrant blasts actually. He hit me full force. The group of people present stared on in horror as I quickly made a poop burrito out of me and him, using the blanket as the tortilla, and dashed to the shower, clothes and all.
By the time I got us all cleaned up and dry all my guests were gone.....probably to have their tubes tied.
Oh check out this site http://....mykidsruined.com/
By the time I got us all cleaned up and dry all my guests were gone.....probably to have their tubes tied.
Oh check out this site http://....mykidsruined.com/
DON'T GIVE ME ANY OF YOUR CRAP QUAKER!! YOU KNOW DAMN WELL THAT THE PATIENTS DO 90% OF IT IN THE AMBULANCE!!
Ever had the DYING blow out? We had a guy in the back with a laforte 3 fracture. Sat up, PROJECTILE vomit and ........ out of both ends before he keeled over.
Now THAT, was nasty.
In hospitals? "Caretaker to ER please, caretaker to ER.."
No one to page for help in an ambulance my friend...
We took my now 6 year old to the church to see about getting her baptized. (Of COURSE I couldn't go in, people get all jumpy when the holy water starts boiling and the windows blow out, I stayed OUTSIDE..)
Anyhoo, she used to press her hands together, palm to palm, when she was in a CREATIVE mood. (read..filling her shorts with love..). So, halfway through his speech, the priest looks down and there's Payton...doing her thing! He said, "Oh, look at the little ANGEL, she's PRAYING!"
"Oh, SHE'S not praying Father, but perhaps this would be a good time for YOU to start.."
Anyhoo, she used to press her hands together, palm to palm, when she was in a CREATIVE mood. (read..filling her shorts with love..). So, halfway through his speech, the priest looks down and there's Payton...doing her thing! He said, "Oh, look at the little ANGEL, she's PRAYING!"
"Oh, SHE'S not praying Father, but perhaps this would be a good time for YOU to start.."
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Thanks for that post Domino. I really needed that laugh, I can always count on finding one of your posts that makes hubby wonder why I'm giggling at the computer .
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Thanks for that post Domino. I really needed that laugh, I can always count on finding one of your posts that makes hubby wonder why I'm giggling at the computer
I live to serve Moonflame...
I never had children of my own, but I did help my sister (single Mom) with her kids when she lived with us.
One special day I'll never forget. My niece was about 14 months old at the time and cutting teeth. For her that meant the runs constantly until the tooth broke through.
One morning my sis had already left for work before anyone else woke up. About 20 minutes later, I slowly wake up to the sweetest giggles coming from my niece's crib. She was having a great time, laughing, clapping her little hands.
I stumble out of my bed to go check on her, and I'm greeted with the most precious smile from her. Her white teeth were the only thing I could see!
She was covered head to toe with poop! It was all over the crib, rails, mattress, sheet, and even running down the side. She was happily sitting right in the middle of that mess, smiling and laughing!
How can a little child produce so much poop in 20 minutes??!!
Later that day my sis said my niece was sleeping soundly when she left for work. No poop anywhere.
So I picked her up and got into the shower with her, clothes and all! After she was clean, I tackled the crib. It took me over an hour to clean and sanitize everything. These were the days before antibacterial soap! It also took us several days to completely get rid of the odor as well.
As nasty as everything else was, I'll always remember my niece's sweet happy smile!
One special day I'll never forget. My niece was about 14 months old at the time and cutting teeth. For her that meant the runs constantly until the tooth broke through.
One morning my sis had already left for work before anyone else woke up. About 20 minutes later, I slowly wake up to the sweetest giggles coming from my niece's crib. She was having a great time, laughing, clapping her little hands.
I stumble out of my bed to go check on her, and I'm greeted with the most precious smile from her. Her white teeth were the only thing I could see!
She was covered head to toe with poop! It was all over the crib, rails, mattress, sheet, and even running down the side. She was happily sitting right in the middle of that mess, smiling and laughing!
How can a little child produce so much poop in 20 minutes??!!
Later that day my sis said my niece was sleeping soundly when she left for work. No poop anywhere. So I picked her up and got into the shower with her, clothes and all! After she was clean, I tackled the crib. It took me over an hour to clean and sanitize everything. These were the days before antibacterial soap! It also took us several days to completely get rid of the odor as well.
As nasty as everything else was, I'll always remember my niece's sweet happy smile!
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