Don't know where to post this...just so mad at myself, I screwed up

[AndriaD]

I think that has a lot to do with it! I am more out of practice than out of breath! When I sang in the band and karaoke all the time, I was singing all the time - as my voice went down hill with the smoking, I have gradually quit singing...I just have to get back on the horse...it has been a long time since I sang and practiced a lot except singing in my car lately

I just dropped an octave. Which sounds really bizarre on some songs!

I can hold a note pretty long (think the middle of Kashmir or end of Stairway...LOL!) and I can up and down quickly (I like to do Sinead O Connor and I am learning a Sia song) - the control I had is off - but I seriously think it may be more lack of effort and trying to sing more on my part I am just hoping this isn't some kind of permanent damage issue :'( I never had vocal training (I did sing in college choir, which is a little training...) - I wish I could - LOL! I have a falsetto, I really do (I am a contralto who can pop out some really high note - but I don't use my falsetto much - LOL, I think it sounds yucky....but yeah, women with lower range voices do have a falsetto...I just hate mine a lot....

Yeah, I'm not wild about singing that way; there's no power in it. But, it's the only way I can hit some notes, and others, well... if I really POWERED it, I might break glass (or my husband's eardrums, and he's deaf enough already!). I *always* had the most shrill, penetrating voice as a child; my aunt was constantly telling me to use my indoor voice. My son did too, but fortunately puberty fixed that for him. (and me!) Mine had to wait until smoke damaged my cords so much, it lowered my voice considerably. My speaking voice is still fairly low, but I think it's higher now than it was when I was smoking. I never had voice training, but I played the violin for about 5 yrs, which trained my ear.

Andria

 

[xena222]

I just dropped an octave. Which sounds really bizarre on some songs!




Yeah, I'm not wild about singing that way; there's no power in it. But, it's the only way I can hit some notes, and others, well... if I really POWERED it, I might break glass (or my husband's eardrums, and he's deaf enough already!). I *always* had the most shrill, penetrating voice as a child; my aunt was constantly telling me to use my indoor voice. My son did too, but fortunately puberty fixed that for him. (and me!) Mine had to wait until smoke damaged my cords so much, it lowered my voice considerably. My speaking voice is still fairly low, but I think it's higher now than it was when I was smoking. I never had voice training, but I played the violin for about 5 yrs, which trained my ear.

Andria

I would love to be able to drop an octave and gain one....LOL!!!!! My falsetto isn't as strong - I can put some power to it but, and to me I sound off key and like I sucked in helium!! It probably isn't as bad as I think, but I am a perfectionist about it
I never had a shrill voice, or even a high pitched kid voice...always told I was mumbling or to speak up - I had a low voice for a little girl - LOL!!! The only time my voice has a lot of volume is when I sing or when I do my witchy laugh (I REALLY have a cackling laugh....) Your son is lucky that puberty was kind, LOL, for boys, it can go great or not so great....but I bet he has an amazing voice!!!!! Vocal training can do a LOT!
I have a funny feeling you have a wonderful voice!!! Violin is harder that anything I could imagine playing, that takes so much work, but would give you a pitch perfect ear!!! I play piano, keyboards...badly

 

[AndriaD]

I would love to be able to drop an octave and gain one....LOL!!!!! My falsetto isn't as strong - I can put some power to it but, and to me I sound off key and like I sucked in helium!! It probably isn't as bad as I think, but I am a perfectionist about it
I never had a shrill voice, or even a high pitched kid voice...always told I was mumbling or to speak up - I had a low voice for a little girl - LOL!!! The only time my voice has a lot of volume is when I sing or when I do my witchy laugh (I REALLY have a cackling laugh....) Your son is lucky that puberty was kind, LOL, for boys, it can go great or not so great....but I bet he has an amazing voice!!!!! Vocal training can do a LOT!
I have a funny feeling you have a wonderful voice!!! Violin is harder that anything I could imagine playing, that takes so much work, but would give you a pitch perfect ear!!! I play piano, keyboards...badly

The only person who's EVER told me to speak up was my deaf husband. Everyone else wants to know why I'm hollering at them.

Puberty was *eventually* kind to my son's voice, but during his changeover from tenor to baritone to bass, it was very frustrating for him; he started singing in the chorus at school when he was 12 (he got to play Tevye when they put on Fiddler on the Roof, and he NAILED that yiddish accent, thanks to some coaching from my ex-husband!) and at the time, he was firmly tenor; the next year, he kinda switched between tenor and baritone, depending on the piece he was singing, and the next year, same between baritone and bass. Now he's firmly bass; on the phone, he and my husband sound almost identical, except his voice is lower, which I guess makes sense, he's a much bigger guy than his dad.

I don't have "perfect pitch" -- I can't just pop out an A -- but I do have near-perfect relative pitch, which is what they teach when they're teaching you to tune the violin -- they'll give you the A to match with the A string, but you have to tune the others to perfect fifths yourself. My violin teacher had me teaching the other students how to tune, because she said I had the most perfect relative pitch she'd ever encountered -- and that woman didn't give praise lightly -- she once tossed her baton all the way over the entire orchestra when we really sucked at a rehearsal.

Andria

 

[Bernard Marx]

Yikes! How can I avoid this.

Falsetto - only a dream now. Any sound above a D - only in my imagination. Violin - the most incredibly amazing device. (Just listen to someone like Tibor Varga playing the Tchaikovsky Violin Concerto and weep.)

I'll tell you something funny: Suppose I am listening to this piece of music and being quite deaf can only hear up to the D. I carry on listening and filling in the missing sound in my head when it goes out of my hearing until Tibor gets back into my range. It is a lot like playing in an orchestra. I am contributing!

 

[xena222]

The only person who's EVER told me to speak up was my deaf husband. Everyone else wants to know why I'm hollering at them.

Puberty was *eventually* kind to my son's voice, but during his changeover from tenor to baritone to bass, it was very frustrating for him; he started singing in the chorus at school when he was 12 (he got to play Tevye when they put on Fiddler on the Roof, and he NAILED that yiddish accent, thanks to some coaching from my ex-husband!) and at the time, he was firmly tenor; the next year, he kinda switched between tenor and baritone, depending on the piece he was singing, and the next year, same between baritone and bass. Now he's firmly bass; on the phone, he and my husband sound almost identical, except his voice is lower, which I guess makes sense, he's a much bigger guy than his dad.

I don't have "perfect pitch" -- I can't just pop out an A -- but I do have near-perfect relative pitch, which is what they teach when they're teaching you to tune the violin -- they'll give you the A to match with the A string, but you have to tune the others to perfect fifths yourself. My violin teacher had me teaching the other students how to tune, because she said I had the most perfect relative pitch she'd ever encountered -- and that woman didn't give praise lightly -- she once tossed her baton all the way over the entire orchestra when we really sucked at a rehearsal.

Andria

I couldn't tune an instrument if my lie depended on it - I can get close with a guitar though (LOL, I leave those things to my son and hubby - they both live to play ) Relative pitch is a great thing to have when your singing though too! You don't always have to match the voice to have it sound incredible Just sing it in your own key and add some meaningful feeling and I would rather hear that than any bland perfect pitch singer any day LOL!!

My son's voice never really went through much of that cracking phase LOL, one day he had a higher voice and a week later it was lower than his dad's hehe!! I love bass voices though, they have so much depth!!!
Your violin teacher sounds like a toughy, but being able to play violin...priceless!!!

Yikes! How can I avoid this.

Falsetto - only a dream now. Any sound above a D - only in my imagination. Violin - the most incredibly amazing device. (Just listen to someone like Tibor Varga playing the Tchaikovsky Violin Concerto and weep.)

I'll tell you something funny: Suppose I am listening to this piece of music and being quite deaf can only hear up to the D. I carry on listening and filling in the missing sound in my head when it goes out of my hearing until Tibor gets back into my range. It is a lot like playing in an orchestra. I am contributing!

You know what? You just made not being able to hear everything sound like fun!!!! You know if you could find a way to translate what you fill in to music...you might just be writing your own thing all together!!!
My son (he has asperger's, btw) he can hear sounds above what people can usually hear...it was weird! NONE of us can hear the sounds, and he is looking at us like we were crazy we couldn't hear it!! He has always been very sound sensitive, and that made sense all of the sudden - but he helps him so much as a musician!!

 

[GinnyTx]

Xena you didn't go out and buy a carton..look on the bright side.

and I get it..it's nice to have the singing voice back isn't it?

don't beat yourself up girl..it was a couple puffs and reinforced that it was NASTY, I did the same thing a couple weeks after we quit..and I've not since then.

 

[ENAUD]

Four puffs, let it go and get over it You'd get more smoke from hanging out in a private club for a night breathing in the second hand smoke. Only you know where you are at, you've made it this far, so if you keep on keepin' off the cigs, no need to reset any counter, relax and keep on vaping!

 

[xena222]

Thanks Giiny and ENAUD! I still have hose oldies laying around - LOL, it keeps me from buying any I think! And remembering the taste is enough to keep me out of trouble - LOL!!
I had an appt a couple days ago, and GOOD NEWS!! My lungs sound clear and my pulse ox is back up to normal!!!!

 

[Serenite]

You have to look inside yourself and decide whether you are truly able to be comfortable with keeping the counter just where it is.

 

[Spencer87]

sometimes I read a post like this, and it makes me want to have a ciggie.

but Then ... I remember needing to have acigarette. Reallly, REALLY needing one. I can not allow myself to get that addicted to something again.
With Vaping... I have never NEEDED it. I mean, I am sure ...i would have, but ive left it at home for a day once, and didnt NEED it that day... I vape when I want to...
Mind the day i did leave it home, man did I vape when I got my grubby litle hands on it

 

[AndriaD]

I think I'd sooner leave one of my legs at home than my vape.

Andria

 

[xena222]

You have to look inside yourself and decide whether you are truly able to be comfortable with keeping the counter just where it is.

I decided I am good with keeping my counter I have had several hard moments since that one and didn't cave....I feel good with myself!!

sometimes I read a post like this, and it makes me want to have a ciggie.

but Then ... I remember needing to have acigarette. Reallly, REALLY needing one. I can not allow myself to get that addicted to something again.
With Vaping... I have never NEEDED it. I mean, I am sure ...i would have, but ive left it at home for a day once, and didnt NEED it that day... I vape when I want to...
Mind the day i did leave it home, man did I vape when I got my grubby litle hands on it

Oh no, now I feel like a trigger...LOL!! I have NEVER left home without my vape....you made it a whole day!!! That is awesome!!!

I think I'd sooner leave one of my legs at home than my vape.

Andria

What Andria said up there^^^^ If I am ever going to have another cigarette...that is exactly what is going to cause it! I am addicted to nicotine, but I am okay with that...I can live with that like I live with my coffee addiction....with the tar and all from the smokes....I wasn't going to live with anything

 

[xena222]

Well, I am back, and for now, I am smoking again just have had about 10 cigs in the last two weeks,,,,making my own juice only now and just not working as well is a small part of it, all out of everything, and a lot of bad stress here on top of it...I am ashamed to even show my face here, but I didn't want to just disappear - someone tell my tree peeps ((hugs))...I am removing my counter altogether for now

 

[Puff2K]

Well, I am back, and for now, I am smoking again just have had about 10 cigs in the last two weeks,,,,making my own juice only now and just not working as well is a small part of it, all out of everything, and a lot of bad stress here on top of it...I am ashamed to even show my face here, but I didn't want to just disappear - someone tell my tree peeps ((hugs))...I am removing my counter altogether for now

Well, I'm in the same boat. I feel badly about it but I didn't toss the pack of cigarettes I bought a few weeks ago and I've been smoking them. But I've still mostly been vaping! I'm vaping Halo SubZero at the moment because I found myself sort of craving a cigarette all day today. Good luck and don't be too hard on yourself. Relapse happens, but so does recovery.

 

[madangus]

As others said the fact it tasted awful that is actually a great thing. Don't fret about the counter, you tried and didn't like.. You levelled up

 

[Big Me]

Well, I am back, and for now, I am smoking again just have had about 10 cigs in the last two weeks,,,,making my own juice only now and just not working as well is a small part of it, all out of everything, and a lot of bad stress here on top of it...I am ashamed to even show my face here, but I didn't want to just disappear - someone tell my tree peeps ((hugs))...I am removing my counter altogether for now

Xena, you will always be welcome here xo

As has been stated time and again: it's not the ones you do smoke that matters, it's the ones you don't and 10 cigs in 14 days is small fry.

Keep vaping, keep posting and keep your chin up hun. You're part of the ECF family.

 

[TeamSwish]

2 months just vaping for me. My wife still smokes. It smells horribly. I have not said one word to her rubbing it in how i don''t smoke anymore. We both tried to vape years and years ago and she didn't like it at all (didn't reduce the craving)...I'm hoping that I'm proof enough that the technology is much better now.

 

[ian-field]

Well, I'm in the same boat. I feel badly about it but I didn't toss the pack of cigarettes I bought a few weeks ago and I've been smoking them. But I've still mostly been vaping! I'm vaping Halo SubZero at the moment because I found myself sort of craving a cigarette all day today. Good luck and don't be too hard on yourself. Relapse happens, but so does recovery.

Doing both at the same time is even worse than just smoking - you'll increase your tolerance to nicotine to the point where vaping just isn't adequate. Do one or the other, and hopefully make a clean break back to vaping.

 

[ian-field]

2 months just vaping for me. My wife still smokes. It smells horribly. I have not said one word to her rubbing it in how i don''t smoke anymore. We both tried to vape years and years ago and she didn't like it at all (didn't reduce the craving)...I'm hoping that I'm proof enough that the technology is much better now.

When I first quit smoking, I could pretty much point out any smoker that walked past me by their smell, sometimes on my motorcycle, if I was following a car with smoker and window open - I could smell that too.

As time has gone by, I barely notice it anymore. But I have experienced a perception of what its like for non-smokers.

 

[GeorgeS]

Well, I am back, and for now, I am smoking again just have had about 10 cigs in the last two weeks,,,,making my own juice only now and just not working as well is a small part of it, all out of everything, and a lot of bad stress here on top of it...I am ashamed to even show my face here, but I didn't want to just disappear - someone tell my tree peeps ((hugs))...I am removing my counter altogether for now

Don't worry about it.

I lent a starter kit to a co-worker a few weeks ago. He's given mixed feedback - everything from no longer smoking to only 1-3 a day. His juice consumption and reports of battery life may tell the real story. No worries.

While I had hoped to hear that he was completely off cigarettes, the whole point of lending him the kit was to allow him to try it without any investment other than the time involved to try it. Friday he was saying that he's going to check out the local B&M and see what they may have in stock.

Considering he claimed to be a 1 PAD smoker and now is smoking less than a handful AND he's interested and willing to get his own vaping gear, I'll count that as a success.