Don't know where to post this...just so mad at myself, I screwed up

[xena222]

I am still vaping, and I am smoking some....I have had a LOT happen in my life since I hit that "happy I quit for a whole year" mark in June - I was so proud of myself, and so sure I would never smoke again....then some things came up that knocked me down a LOT.....financially we are getting killed here, I might lose my car I love that my dad left me when he died, Jim keeps getting laid off and this should be when he is working, he won't have unemployment because he won't have enough hours so come fall or as soon as our tax refund runs out, we are broke....someone I love had someone they love a lot commit suicide and it made me kind of spiral (I have bipolar disorder and this has kicked in a bunch of crap...), work is still all messed up, just a LOT of things....I am mixing my own juice and no matter what I do, I felt like I wasn't getting any nicotine I just went off the deep end and bought cigarettes because I guess I didn't care what happened anymore.....but vaping IS keeping me from chain smoking like I used to, I have 1-2 a day just to keep myself from feeling, I don't know, down worse than I am??
So sorry to come back being a bummer....I just hope sometime soon I can just go back to vaping all the time, and get back to feeling like a normal person.....thank you so much to you guys for still caring about me!!

 

[Puff2K]

I am still vaping, and I am smoking some....I have had a LOT happen in my life since I hit that "happy I quit for a whole year" mark in June - I was so proud of myself, and so sure I would never smoke again....then some things came up that knocked me down a LOT.....financially we are getting killed here, I might lose my car I love that my dad left me when he died, Jim keeps getting laid off and this should be when he is working, he won't have unemployment because he won't have enough hours so come fall or as soon as our tax refund runs out, we are broke....someone I love had someone they love a lot commit suicide and it made me kind of spiral (I have bipolar disorder and this has kicked in a bunch of crap...), work is still all messed up, just a LOT of things....I am mixing my own juice and no matter what I do, I felt like I wasn't getting any nicotine I just went off the deep end and bought cigarettes because I guess I didn't care what happened anymore.....but vaping IS keeping me from chain smoking like I used to, I have 1-2 a day just to keep myself from feeling, I don't know, down worse than I am??
So sorry to come back being a bummer....I just hope sometime soon I can just go back to vaping all the time, and get back to feeling like a normal person.....thank you so much to you guys for still caring about me!!

I'm sorry to hear you've been having a rough time. I slipped too, and I'm doing a little better but I bought some WTA juice to try (Whole Tobacco Alkaloids) which for some can kill the craving to smoke. I wish you a ton of good luck.

 

[suprtrkr]

I fell off the wagon for a couple months. The game isn't about the sticks you smoke, it's about the ones you don't. Don't give up on it, or be too hard on yourself.