I just got a call from "Kurt" at "(unintelligible) Technical Support" telling me that there is a problem with my Windows. He claimed that his company provides third-party support for "the Microsoft."
"Okay," I said. "What appears to be the problem?"
"You computer has been logging errors to our system."
"Oh, I'm sorry," I replied. "I'll tell it to stop."
"No, no! That's what I'm calling you for."
"You mean that I can't make it stop?"
"That's what I'm going to help you do."
"Oh, okay!" I said. "What do you want me to do?"
"I need you to go to your Start Button and click on 'Run'..."
"I don't see a Start Button," I said.
"Which version of Windows do you have?"
"Which one should I have?"
"Sir, I cannot help you if you don't tell me what version of Windows you have."
"Don't you have that information?"
"No, Sir. You have to tell me."
"If you can't tell me which version of Windows I have, what kind of technical support do you provide?"
"We're here to help you fix your Windows error."
"Well, as best as I can tell, you can't even help me figure out which version of Windows I'm running."
"If you click the icon at the bottom of your screen, on the left, you should get a menu that has an option called 'Help.'"
"You want me to click on 'Help" to help out technical support?"
"Yes, Sir."
"You're not inspiring me with much confidence in your technical abilities."
"I'm sorry, Sir."
"You're with Microsoft, right?"
"We provide third-party support for the Microsoft."
"And they told you I have a problem?"
"Our system has logged your errors."
"What errors have you logged?"
"Network and security errors."
"What is wrong with these errors?"
"They could lead to an attacker taking over your computer."
"But they wouldn't know which version of Windows I'm running..? How could they take it over?"
"Sir, do you want these errors fixed?"
"Not really. Do you?"
Click.....
