Hail to all about to join The ProVarinati

[The Ocelot]

It has come to my attention that some of you are unaware of the missive I posted about what to expect when receiving your Gift from the Gods of ProVape. Since one new member of The Order of the Zombie posted his surprise at exactly what I revealed would occur, I felt it was worth repeating:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~​

Welcome Novitiates of The ProVarinati!

Be comforted in the knowledge that soon all doubts of your decision will be alleviated and your spirit overcome with joy! All of your questions will be answered, all of your hopes realized, and as you have dreamed...

You will GET IT!​

Be aware:

The Holiest of Holies does not come in a fancy box, it is simply swaddled in bubble wrap. It is the way of the ProVarinati to be reminded of our humble beginnings and not to take for granted the amazing gift that is bestowed upon the worthy. You will also find our Blessed One to be smaller than you imagined and be filled with awe that such power could be contained in such a bijou receptacle.

You must place the Sacred ProVari on an altar and gently pass a silver* Thurible filled with myrrh over it for 7 consecutive nights just past sunset. Then, and only then, you may kneel before a candle and read your Rewards Loyalty Program card (yes, we are rewarded for our loyalty!) upside down and the Secret Name of-which-we-do-not-speak shall be revealed.

The Sacred Rites of Manual is available for download on the ProVape site.

Don't forget to fast.



*If you don't have silver, aluminum foil is allowed. The ProVari is forgiving.

We are waiting for you​

 

[Preloader]

I didn't read my card upside down til you just mentioned that...... My mind just melted. I am speechless.

 

[Thunderball]

..........

 

[TheSystemHasFailed]

Ocelot, you sure love that thing!

 

[penrow]

It has come to my attention that some of you are unaware of the missive I posted about what to expect when receiving your Gift from the Gods of ProVape. Since one new member of The Order of the Zombie posted his surprise at exactly what I revealed would occur, I felt it was worth repeating:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~​

Welcome Novitiates of The ProVarinati!

Be comforted in the knowledge that soon all doubts of your decision will be alleviated and your spirit overcome with joy! All of your questions will be answered, all of your hopes realized, and as you have dreamed...

You will GET IT!​

Be aware:

The Holiest of Holies does not come in a fancy box, it is simply swaddled in bubble wrap. It is the way of the ProVarinati to be reminded of our humble beginnings and not to take for granted the amazing gift that is bestowed upon the worthy. You will also find our Blessed One to be smaller than you imagined and be filled with awe that such power could be contained in such a bijou receptacle.

You must place the Sacred ProVari on an altar and gently pass a silver* Thurible filled with myrrh over it for 7 consecutive nights just past sunset. Then, and only then, you may kneel before a candle and read your Rewards Loyalty Program card (yes, we are rewarded for our loyalty!) upside down and the Secret Name of-which-we-do-not-speak shall be revealed.

The Sacred Rites of Manual is available for download on the ProVape site.

Don't forget to fast.



*If you don't have silver, aluminum foil is allowed. The ProVari is forgiving.

We are waiting for you​

Guess great minds think alike! because it sounds like when you got your first one , you had the same thoughts I had. Now tell me do they actually Grow overnight because it seems bigger now!

 

[lvm111]

........... Now tell me do they actually Grow overnight because it seems bigger now!

Not touching that!

best regards, larry mac

 

[penrow]

Not touching that!

best regards, larry mac

you funny! here is a new sales pitch " buy a new Provari, your wife will thank you" haha

 

[Susan W.]

Before I begin, I beg forgiveness and bow before the most worthy of Provarinati.....

Ocelot, I swear you must have been a gypsy or a psychic in another life. Doesn't this sound like one of those psychic hotline commercials:

"Be comforted in the knowledge that soon all doubts of your decision will be alleviated and your spirit overcome with joy! All of your questions will be answered, all of your hopes realized, and as you have dreamed... "

I keep picturing people stating all their questions were answered and a phone number flashing at the bottom of my TV.

 

[Zbeast08]

As I have consumed a few cocktails, and my fingernails seem to be turninig a shade of black and my arms strectheth forward, I chant....

 

[lvm111]

................Now tell me do they actually Grow overnight because it seems bigger now!

I think so. Mine always seems bigger first thing in the morning!

best regards, larry mac

 

[Preloader]

My ProVari is now the second thing I touch every morning.

 

[EddardinWinter]

Don't forget the Psalm ProVari.

A very important rite of passage.

Tapped out

 

[Mowgli]

Just surfing around @ FB and wound up at NatGeo's site where the Provarinati roam

The Serengeti Lion | National Geographic Magazine

Don't forget the Psalm ProVari.

A very important rite of passage.

 

[The Ocelot]

.
.
I have updated the greeting to include Sir Sloth, 4th Viceroy of Preloader

ETA: and a couple of others.

 

[ItTechy]

Look what that Vamo did to me! I should have listened to the Princess!​

Can I ever return from the Dark Side
If only I would have chosen the Provarinati​

 

[The Ocelot]

Don't forget the Psalm ProVari.

A very important rite of passage.

Tapped out

I wanth no other

You should sign it Praetor. It will be all over the internet by tomorrow.

 

[EddardinWinter]

I wanth no other

You should sign it Praetor. It will be all over the internet by tomorrow.

Done, Your Highness. You are wise and benevolent. Well, in this matter at least...

 

[The Ocelot]

Done, Your Highness. You are wise and benevolent. Well, in this matter at least...

I would still say The ProVari is my PV, I wanth no other (or something like it to go with "I shall not want")

 

[EddardinWinter]

I would still say The ProVari is my PV, I wanth no other (or something like it to go with "I shall not want")

Sometimes, I am dreadfully slow on the uptake. Sorry to make you spell it out for this simple minded lion, Your Highness.

I have replaced the one above, and on my blog, with this. I went with simply, "I shall not want". It seems to fit nicely, and I don't think being a member of The ProVarinati makes one not want other mods. You are a prime example, yes? The ProVarinati are not jealous (like some Gods we know, at least if you believe what we are told to). The ability to share the vape time of its memebers is a prime example of the quiet confidence of The ProVarinati in this lion's opinion.

 

[The Ocelot]

Sometimes, I am dreadfully slow on the uptake. Sorry to make you spell it out for this simple minded lion, Your Highness.

I have replaced the one above, and on my blog, with this. I went with simply, "I shall not want". It seems to fit nicely, and I don't think being a member of The ProVarinati makes one not want other mods. You are a prime example, yes? The ProVarinati are not jealous (like some Gods we know, at least if you believe what we are told to). The confidence to share the vape time of its memebers is a prime example of the quiet confidence of The ProVarinati in this lion's opinion.

Very true.