Sometimes it is discouraging to not be one of those people who walked away from smoking immediately and never looked back, but one consolation is that as I realize that I can choose when/if I have a cigarette it feels like the addiction is losing its power over me ...
I guess because the tobacco addiction really meant there was never any choice as to when/if to have a cigarette, so as I transform to be OK with either choice it feels less like an addiction ... even actually HAVING a choice is such a change.
I've consciously chosen to not set any "goal" or such things. If I just can't resist a "real one", I do it. Stress
always sent my smoking right up to "chain smoking" level. I'm the kind of idiot that could end up smoking because I'm stressed about smoking.
I know somebody that can pick them up and put them down. Smokes when visiting me and I would always find his pack sitting on the coffee table after he left. Me, making sure I had a pack and two lighters (gotta have a back up!) came ahead of wallet and keys. If I compared myself to him, I'd just give up. Nicotine has its hooks into me so bad, when money has been tight, I've felt the urge to rob a convenience store like a street druggie. Disturbing feeling that!
Everybody's different, the stuff affects everybody differently, "comparisons" don't work. We ain't all got the same brain chemistry.
Me, I'm making myself count what I've
not smoked. Since getting my "starter" kit, I've
not smoked almost two cartons. I did between a pack and a half to two packs a day depending on stress level and such stuff. I'd easily be at least half way into a second carton by now and maybe getting close to the end. Instead, yesterday, there were no cigs at all in the house until I finally broke down and bought one pack about 7 something in the evening and had two cigs.
You only gotta go back about two weeks and the idea of not having any cigs in the house would have me racing out the door to the store so fast, I could forget my pants.
