But for some reason I still want that occasional analog. Maybe it's that feeling of the filter between my fingers, I don't know.
Any body else the same way? It's almost blasphemous to the church of PV.
I dropped from 30 per day to 6 right away without trying (and did not get the ecig thinking of quitting smoking) - tapering down those last ones gradually and have actually found it quite interesting trying to separate and identify all the elements involved. Now when I want one I ask myself: Is it just habit linked to what I'm doing? Do I crave nicotine? Am I craving a good inhaling/exhaling sensation for some solid minutes? The answers have been quite revealing regarding my personal addictive forces.
The other thing that has been interesting is that I am isolating the behavioural factors - if I want a cigarette I can have one, but not linked to any other behaviour - ie while doing something, with a cup of coffee or a beer, etc (this is still not achieved completely but I'm getting there). I find again it is illuminating to discover sometimes it is not a cigarette I want, it is a cigarette and xyz, which lets me think about why.
Maybe I'm just weird but I find I do better replacing the anxiety with curiousity - in fact I have been thinking the last few days that instead of a goal of quitting I am probably going to substitute the goal of continued reduction to one every six months - my suspicion is that I will be a lot more succesful and knowing me the odds are by the time I get to one every three days I am going to get distracted and forget to smoke it anyways!
Also, I have been a smoker for such a long time and started so young that I wouldn't really know how to be a non-smoker anyways! So I'm just going to transition so that instead of a 30 cigarette = 1 day smoker I move towards a 1 cigarette = 30 days smoker.
I think it is about knowing yourseld and what you are comfortable with. I am completely the opposite with sugar - I don't have any because I know if I do I will just crave more and more ... obviously for some people the same is true with tobacco, whereas for me I think I am less likely to crave the second cigarette if I "can't" have the first one (says the woman who frequently tried to sneak in a chain-smoke of two cigarettes going into a no smoking place!)
At least when I do have a cigarette now it is a choice - it wasn't before!
Good luck with whatever approach you choose but don't be ashamed or guilty - it's not going to help anything. (It also sounds like your cigarettes may well be associated with specific situations).
Some people started vaping and never looked back, some of us didn't have quite as complete a transformation, but if we are all smoking less then it's all good!!!
EDIT: oops I meant I am more likely to crave a second cigarette if I can't have the first one!