How To Approach A Smoker: The Proper Way

[Racehorse]

What is the best way to interact with the smoker if you have the desire to help them quit cigarettes without being rude to them?

I dunno. I look at this sentence and think: how would this sound if you said what is the best way to interact with an obese person? Or fill in any other "noun".

I can't imagine making suggestions to anyone, esp. if they were strangers, but even friends, unless THEY ASKED ME FOR ADVICE.

It's really not my place to try to improve other people, or even suggest it. That has to come from them.

Adults can make up their own minds, and if they are interested in doing something, trying something, improving something in their lives, then they will seek it out, right? vaping is pretty common now, not like back in 2012 when I started...but overall, I'm just not the type of person to prosletize to anyone if I am not invited to do so.

I just think about all the times my friends would find something they were excited about, then they'd thrust it on everybody else during their "infatuation period". I don't want to do that to anybody.....not about people's personal "habits" for sure.

(I can be obnoxious in many other ways, but this isn't one of them. )

 

[Racehorse]

and by the way to the OP, you're heart is in the right place, you obviously care about people.

So don't take it as criticism that I would not approach a smoker unless invited to do so.

Us as vapers come to interact one way or another with someone who is a cigarette smoker. Being a vaper myself I more often than not have the urge to help one quit and take on vaping instead. What is the best way to interact with the smoker if you have the desire to help them quit cigarettes without being rude to them?

There are different scenarios that one can come across regarding who the person is that they are trying to help quit smoking. First off, say you see someone smoking outdoors. Obviously going over to them and telling them smoking is dangerous can be viewed as flat out rude and uncalled for even if you're correct that smoking is very dangerous for him or her. But is there a way that one can actually approach a stranger on the street and convince them the vape? There is also the aquatence/casual friend who's a smoker. It maybe seem easier to get them to vape. How would you possibly get them to take on vaping while still not getting too personal? When it comes to friends and family that smoke, you know them well so speaking to them is easier. What's the most ideal approach to get them to quit?

This topic relates to me because I have a few friends who were a smoker that I helped start vaping. Unfortunately one of them still smokes cigarettes but even with him he smokes a lot less than he had smoked in the past so I accomplished something. It's all about that desire to help spread what worked for us to the unfortunate others. We may not be able to change the whole world but we can definitely change people's lives around us with the same thing that changed our life.

 

[rob33]

I started when vaping was a enigma and had many approach me with questions. That's the way I still handle it, I'm not trying to convert anyone. Vaping is safer but still you are swapping one habit with another and I don't really want to influence anyone in making that decision. I will give them the information if they ask.

 

[ExtremeDooty]

I understand from most people's feedback that smoking is a smoker's private business and one should not approach a smoker. If anything the smoker should come to you and then you can explain to them whatever it is that you feel is possible to explain to them respectfully about electronic cigarettes and tell them your story.

This got me thinking. Why is it that other substances and alcohol have their own meetings where someone speaks and then they go around the room having people share their input and stories. Why cant we have such meetings for smokers - Smokers Anonymous? There we would have the opportunity to interact with the smokers that want to quit because they showed up to the meeting. That seems to me to be the most sensible way to interact with smokers that want to quit. Cigarettes are just as deadly as other substances. There are people dying every moment from cancer of cigarettes.

I dont know, maybe there are such meetings out there. If there are they are definitely not popular which amazes me. I do think that a Smoker's Anonymous would be very successful if implemented correctly. I'd love to hear what people think about this.

I would not go to one of these meetings if they existed because they probably wouldn't allow me to smoke. Why would I go to a meeting for smokers when they won't allow the reason that they were asking me to come. If they called it a non smoker's meeting, I still wouldn't go because I wouldn't be qualified to attend.
I gave up quitting many years ago when I finally realized that I just didn't want to quit. And that's why the gum, patches, patches with a helpline, Hypnotist (twice) smokeless cigarettes (no smoke but smelled like crap), Blu ecigs and other gas station sticks and two pen style MTL setups.
So anyone that approaches me the sanctimonious "you should quit because..." we are probably not going to have a civil conversation.
On the other hand, once I finally got a small sub ohm kit (Topbox mini) and spent a week on here correcting virtually every rookie mistake possible when sub ohming, I've really started enjoying vaping even more than I thought I would. And without any thought or effort, I've cut my smoking in half. I haven't actually decided to quit, because I hate that anticipatory feeling of dread and loss that comes whenever I set a date to quit. But now the possibility exists that it could maybe actually happen some time in the undated future.

 

[EIHYPI]

and by the way to the OP, you're heart is in the right place, you obviously care about people.

So don't take it as criticism that I would not approach a smoker unless invited to do so.

Thank you and you're right that I do care a lot about people. It's not my intention to preach in any way, I just have my ideas on how to possibly make the world a better place to live in. But I can be wrong with my opinions or suggestions so if someone does criticize or puts me in my place with their opinion I don't take it the wrong way.

 

[stols001]

Nicotine Anonymous meetings tend to be TINY, almost no one goes (at least back when I was attempting to quit). It's fine to attend NA if you are still smoking, (or vaping) but the ultimate goal would be abstinence, yes. I found people (the few who were there) friendly and helpful, and a lot of people start attending before they finish smoking, or at least nicotine replacement. It wouldn't be a good place at all to lobby for vaping as a more permanent solution, though. It's also not really informational in the sense that people aren't going to want a presentation for vaping, however. You'd need a different venue for that.

I will also state that very few folks attending NA are/were successful, quitting rates there are as bad as everywhere else....

Anna

 

[Letitia]

I hate that anticipatory feeling of dread and loss that comes whenever I set a date to quit. But now the possibility exists that it could maybe actually

I'm the same way. I simply didn't set a date. One night I only had one cig left, smoked it and decided not to buy another pack. First week waking up and having forgotten no feet hit the floor cig was rough. But I discovered that was the only cig I missed. It passed. I went thru a lot of juice those first few mornings! Point is one day you'll just decide to not buy a pack and see how it goes.

 

[MacTechVpr]

Once I tried to convince a dear friend of mine who also smoked for about 30 years to change to vaping.
The more I tried to convince him the more he got upset. thats when it became clear it will not work that way so I stopped pushing him. We did not talk about it anymore at all.
Then after some time out of the blue he started to ask questions and if I could help him setup some gear. He now is a vaper and we laugh about that time.
When ready they will come around.

But they quite possibly never will unless that hand of friendship and reassurance is ever extended. Then the BS wins and we have no one to blame but ourselves. You are right, when they are ready they will come.

Good luck.

 

[mattiem]

Thank you and you're right that I do care a lot about people. It's not my intention to preach in any way, I just have my ideas on how to possibly make the world a better place to live in. But I can be wrong with my opinions or suggestions so if someone does criticize or puts me in my place with their opinion I don't take it the wrong way.

I know your heart is in the right place but how does one person determine what will make the world a better place. We are sadly in the mess we are in today because a few folks decided that they knew what had to happen to make the world a better place. In this day and age one must walk on eggshells to keep from offending one group or another. I am not trying to put you in the same box as those kinds of folks. I am just pointing out that we are not all the same so one size does not fit all. Better place for one takes the rights away from someone else.

Lots of smokers were most likely perfectly content with their smoking lives (count me in that number) until they were made out to be third class citizens and delegated to stand out back behind the dumpsters, in good weather and bad, to enjoy their favorite habit.

If a smoker approaches me I will help them but I personally would never approach a smoker with the intention of talking to them about their smoking habit. It is their life and none of my business. I believe in live and let live.

as always, just my humble thoughts and opinion.

 

[X-Puppy]

You can lead a hoarse to water but you can't make them drink.
But you can make them thirsty. (lust for your vape gear)

I tell them my own experience, its all I really have. Only if they ask.

 

[Kickingthesticks]

I'm done with approaching smokers.... After trying to help out many friends and coworkers I feel like it's wasted effort at least they have the knowledge and gear, if they choose to vape now. If someone comes to me I'll gladly help wether they be a stranger or someone I know.

 

[CMD-Ky]

On so many levels, in so many areas, about so many issues all that you say is so so true. I like this more than I can say. My occupation spanned several decades and always involved the use of words to persuade, argue, convince and change minds and I can tell you - bottom of the ninth - bases loaded home run.

I know your heart is in the right place but how does one person determine what will make the world a better place. We are sadly in the mess we are in today because a few folks decided that they knew what had to happen to make the world a better place. In this day and age one must walk on eggshells to keep from offending one group or another. I am not trying to put you in the same box as those kinds of folks. I am just pointing out that we are not all the same so one size does not fit all. Better place for one takes the rights away from someone else.

Lots of smokers were most likely perfectly content with their smoking lives (count me in that number) until they were made out to be third class citizens and delegated to stand out back behind the dumpsters, in good weather and bad, to enjoy their favorite habit.

If a smoker approaches me I will help them but I personally would never approach a smoker with the intention of talking to them about their smoking habit. It is their life and none of my business. I believe in live and let live.

as always, just my humble thoughts and opinion.

 

[EIHYPI]

I dunno. I look at this sentence and think: how would this sound if you said what is the best way to interact with an obese person? Or fill in any other "noun".

I can't imagine making suggestions to anyone, esp. if they were strangers, but even friends, unless THEY ASKED ME FOR ADVICE.

It's really not my place to try to improve other people, or even suggest it. That has to come from them.

Adults can make up their own minds, and if they are interested in doing something, trying something, improving something in their lives, then they will seek it out, right? Vaping is pretty common now, not like back in 2012 when I started...but overall, I'm just not the type of person to prosletize to anyone if I am not invited to do so.

I just think about all the times my friends would find something they were excited about, then they'd thrust it on everybody else during their "infatuation period". I don't want to do that to anybody.....not about people's personal "habits" for sure.

(I can be obnoxious in many other ways, but this isn't one of them. )

After all the replies from so many people I have done a lot of thinking. Even though I want to help people, the ideas and theories that I had just wouldn't work or they are way out of line. At first I couldn't see it even though so many people replied because I was so caught up in it. Sometimes it's hard to catch yourself. But I appreciate everyone who replied to me and those who probably wanted to shout in their words but held back about how my thoughts basically twisted. After so many people disagreeing with what I was saying it got to the point that I was just wrong, plain and simple no matter what I intended. There's nothing wrong with helping people or wanting to but one has to realize that sometimes it's a lost cause or a matter of privacy and people's rights. Again I am grateful to everyone who showed me this. Thank you

 

[ENAUD]

It was obvious that you only wanted to help folks, and had the best intentions in mind. hope my blunt replies didn't offend, just was sharing my real thoughts on the subject with you.

 

[mattiem]

On so many levels, in so many areas, about so many issues all that you say is so so true. I like this more than I can say. My occupation spanned several decades and always involved the use of words to persuade, argue, convince and change minds and I can tell you - bottom of the ninth - bases loaded home run.

Thank you and your signature also tells me that you and I are on the same page

 

[CMD-Ky]

Thank you and your signature also tells me that you and I are on the same page

Oh, yes. I have admired your posts for some time.

 

[mattiem]

Oh, yes. I have admired your posts for some time.

 

[RainSong]

The tobacco settlement included a quitline through the state health departments. They offer counseling, patches, gum, chantix, and other government approved quit methods. You WON'T hear them offer vaping as an officially approved quit method.

U.K. Public Health *is* suggesting vaping as a quit option during their Stoptober event

 

[mattiem]

After all the replies from so many people I have done a lot of thinking. Even though I want to help people, the ideas and theories that I had just wouldn't work or they are way out of line. At first I couldn't see it even though so many people replied because I was so caught up in it. Sometimes it's hard to catch yourself. But I appreciate everyone who replied to me and those who probably wanted to shout in their words but held back about how my thoughts basically twisted. After so many people disagreeing with what I was saying it got to the point that I was just wrong, plain and simple no matter what I intended. There's nothing wrong with helping people or wanting to but one has to realize that sometimes it's a lost cause or a matter of privacy and people's rights. Again I am grateful to everyone who showed me this. Thank you

Your heart is in the right place and I applaud you for caring so much. All I can tell you is, be there if someone asks and even advise them if they ask for advice and even troubleshoot for them if they need help.

I have 2 sisters. They both said they would give vaping a shot if it worked for me for at least a year. Since I am the middle sister I have one younger and one older. I purchased gear and supplies for my younger sister. She lives right up the road from me so it was easy to give hands on help. I GAVE her lots of options and pretty much financed her journey. She vapes occasionally but is still mostly smoking.

An Angel right here on ECF sent my older sister a starter kit. She lives across the country from me so I could only help her online or by phone. She purchased everything she needed after receiving the original gift. She made the switch immediately and was both smoke and vape free within a year.

All of that just to say, we are all different. We can offer information when asked for it but it is up to each individual as to how the information is used. I didn't pressure either of my sisters. They would ask how it was going and I would just tell them. From that they both decided to give it a shot. If one truly wants to quit they will seek out this option and hopefully someone like you will be there to help them.

 

[ExtremeDooty]

The road to hell is paved with "good intentions" (Control). The problem with people that want to "help" me is that they set themselves up to be the arbiter of what is good for me. I was in the Navy at the height of the Viet Nam war and my regulation hair cut was an immediate indicator of that fact. You are likely not old enough to remember the "Moonies" that infested airports in the 70's. I was assaulted every time I went through an airport because they thought I needed saving. I listened the first time, but quickly got around to telling them to F*** off without slowing my pace. One of them decided to step in front of me and found himself staring up at me as I walked over him.
The point is that I (and probably a lot of people on this board) have had a lifetime of people telling me that I should do what they decide (in their infinite wisdom) for my own good. And the anti smoking folks are at the top of this list. In my mind this is about one group of people trying to control another group of people and I get touchy about that.
I understand that your intention was benign. But someone like you started the war on smoking some 30 years ago with the very same intentions.
Sorry for the rant, but I thought that some context would be helpful.