I need to vent

[Tinkiegrrl]

I think that's why a lot of us continue to hang out on ECF. It's the only place where we can talk about vaping with people who understand.

Vent all you want!

Thanks. His issue is buying blind really. Even if he has every intention of buying something online, he goes to a store to see it first. You can't do that where we are really. So, he lets me buy and I've become his brick and mortar store to hold and try. This need to touch and see first is a "thing" for him. Not likely to change really, so really I'm here to vent as that's likely all I'll be able to do about the situation until a brick and mortar opens on Staten Island that'll let him touch things and see things. We actually just passed a store front tonight that said it was opening soon, so the end may be in sight if they actually sell some quality stuff and I don't walk in knowing more then they do. I'm crossing my fingers on that. He seemed psyched to see it. He pointed it out to me. He even gets nervous with me buying blindly from the Internet without seeing it in action first, but he accepts it as there is no other option as of yet. His thieving ways are just that extension of his need to hold it in his hands and review the quality before buying it. Please, please, please let that store not be a high priced knock off joint.

 

[Sane Asylum]

No, you don't have to buy things with the thought of your husband taking them. You have to learn how to say 'no'. You have to tell him if he doesn't want you to buy two of everything, then he has to 'ask' to borrow and it's not okay for him to 'claim' something you ordered for yourself. If he likes something, then he can wait for it to arrive in the mail and not keep yours. You really need to put your foot down because he'll just keep doing this (and other stuff) because he knows he can and it's disrespectful to you.

 

[Tinkiegrrl]

Claim was the wrong word. He does ask to borrow, and then due to our conflicting work schedules, a week can go buy before I can get it back. It simply works out that if he borrows over a weekend, we barely see eachother during the week, and by then I know he likes it so I buy another. He works nights, I work days, we both are gone for 12 hours or more per day. We work these schedules to save on day care, plus we like that one of us is there for our children most of the time, rather then a sitter, even of we barely see eachother awake at the same time.

 

[Tinkiegrrl]

And the borrowing will continue, because that's just his he functions. His hands needs to be on an item before he commits to it. It happens with everything. When he wants to buy a TV online, he goes to a brick and mortar to see it in action first. Telling him he's on his own to pull the trigger on something he can't see and feel first will send him back go smoking. He has sleep apnea and his family has a slew of medical issues. I want him to not smoke. Do does he. But he needs to test or he can't wrap his head into buying blindly.

 

[edyle]

He isn't mad when I go buy a second separately, because he took the first. He's just afraid of buying two at once, in case he does t like it. Vaping is completely about saving money to him, and if I buy two at once and he doesn't use it, we've wasted money. I've explained I'm spending more on shipping this way, but he'd rather spend the $4 extra on shipping in the future then the $30 on a topper he may not like. In his head, he's being frugal by trying before buying. As in trying my stuff before committing himself to it. And taking my stuff isn't making me spend my money really. It all goes to a joint account. His money and mine. So I'm not necessarily spending all my money on him. I do spend his money on it as well. It's just annoying that I need to wait on vape mail for a second one because he got attached to the first one.

That looks like the key.

Apparently you do not have your own account.
Maybe you should reconsider that. Just because you have a joint account doesn't mean you shouldn't have your own account as well.

Make a Vape account!! In your name.
- Work out how much smoking USED to cost you per month
- Divide by 2!
- put that money monthly into the vaping account.

Now there's no need for him to look at the shopping cart; you're already saving half of what you used to spend.

 

[edyle]

He's never argued over juice purchasing. He's a chef, and has no desire to vape crappy juice any more then I do. That, at least, is no issue.

Yeah, but if he's cost concious maybe you could buy instead of ejuice, buy the raw materials and give him an ejuice RECIPE book. He's a chef ! He might pick it up! Heck maybe he'd whip up some great stuff and $SELL$

 

[otrpu]

45 years of "Marital Bliss" here. I'd just get two. . .if she didn't like it. . .I can't have too many spares. JMHO

Cheers,
otrpu

 

[edyle]

In the end, we'd spend the same amount. It's the timing thing that is killing me. Buy one, learn to love it, hubby borrows it, he learns to love it, then I need to wait for vape mail on a second. We are still in the green compared to our cigarette budget.

I'm thinking that since I suspect he'll want a permanent car vape if there are three VV v3's in the house, I should just pull the damn trigger on two at once and have then delivered to work. Bring one home that he'll eventually see (I also prefer the VV v3 when dealing with our toddler. Sometimes, you just need TJ be able to use two hands fast with a two year old around), let him forget it in the car and keep it there, and I'll have another instantly for myself waiting at work for me. On paper, having 4 VV v3's and two MVP 2's looks excessive, but it won't once he sees how each is being used once they're all in use.

Get a usb car charger (2 amp) and plug in one of these:

 

[Ohms Lawbreaker]

Uh oh $#@% just got real. Good luck but asking for this kind of help in a forum might be asking for more trouble or asking too much. Sounds like it ain't at all about the vaping anymore.

 

[jersey_emt]

All I have to say in the matter is this:

If your husband's tendency to take your vape gear and claim it for his own is truly bothering you, then you need to talk to him about it. Communication is so very important for any relationship. If this is bothering you, then he has to know, because otherwise, he will (somewhat rightfully) assume that it is not a big deal, and not telling him otherwise is implied consent for him to continue.

 

[Ld3441]

Gee, see what happens when you just want to vent! You get all kinds of advice on your marriage you didn't ask for. I really don't think she came here looking to change things, she knows very well how things are and are going to be. She stated in the title she needed to VENT.

I don't blame you, venting is good for the soul. I do think when ever he decided he liked something, he should have to wait for the vapemail instead of you but I do see how that works with your schedule. I personally would buy things I know he wouldn't take/use but then that may be why I am single too.

 

[goodoleboy45]

Venting is a good thing where to listen and give advise when asked. Good Luck on your husband taking your gear. Just do what my wife would do. You take my stuff your cut off. Works every time lol. Sometimes the simple solutions are the best lol

 

[Coldrake]

All I have to say in the matter is this:

If your husband's tendency to take your vape gear and claim it for his own is truly bothering you, then you need to talk to him about it. Communication is so very important for any relationship. If this is bothering you, then he has to know, because otherwise, he will (somewhat rightfully) assume that it is not a big deal, and not telling him otherwise is implied consent for him to continue.

She has stated several times that she has talked to him.


My solution?
Whenever he reaches for something of yours, just slap his hand.
If that doesn't work, use a fork.

 

[TheReign]

What a guy haha. Can't He order his own things? Just get your favorite girly colors an maybe bedazzle a few of them or all so he has to deal with that haha. Maybe he won't do out anymore after all his friends/coworkers rag him

 

[Myrany]

I guess I am lucky my hubby just swipes sweets.

I can bake a cake and before I ever get a piece I return to the kitchen to cut the cake and there is all of a half an inch thick sliver left. Hubby then says "I saved you a piece" hehehehehehehehehe

He never smoked or vaped so my vape gear is safe I think. My multimeter is another story. I usually have to go hunt it down as it is never where I put it.

 

[ChiefAllDay]

You could always pull the trump card and withhold sex... see where his priorities lie.

 

[CreepyLady]

So, my husband is a vape gear thieving fiend. He stole my original iTaste VV v3. Then he stole the second one I purchased to replace it. Fine. Whatever. I have 2 MVP 2's as well. One in brushed black and the other in Petal. I meant for him to use the brushed black one as his home vape and the VV v3 he stole as his out and about. I wanted a VV v3 as my stealth device, but as the MVP apparently feels too heavy in his pocket he insists on only using the VV v3's and he needs at least two devices, as we all do really. I guess I'll buy a third, but I suspect he'll take that too because he has a habit of leaving one in the car and he hates having to go out to get it if the one he has inside is charging. I don't know how many it'll take for me to get to keep a VV v3. I can live with just the MVP2's though.

The battery thieving isn't what's bother me though. Now, he's discovered a love for carto tanks, and my beloved IBTanked tanks are at risk. At first, he didn't want any because the 510 connection looked weird on his VV v3. I got a beauty ring for them and he was sort of okay with that, but the 19mm size wasn't aesthetically pleasing to him and he still rarely used them. However, he's been puffing them a bit more lately, and the more he does so, the more he gets used to the better taste and the less appealing his precious Mini Protanks have become. The mini Protanks he also stole from me by the way.

Last night he completely claimed one of the carto tanks for his own. He also requested some in slimmer sizing for the VV v3's. Said I could have mine back when he gets them. All good and well save for this... He had it for one night, and managed to break it! I've dropped these tanks numerous times and they've never broken. How he managed to break one is astounding to me. So now he's eyeing another one of mine, which thankfully has hot pink end caps. Still, he's considering putting the black end caps from the broken one onto the one he's eyeing which has a bold black swirl design. With black end caps, it'll be suitable for a guy. This will leave me with one lonely carto tank, and as I love switching flavors around this is no good. I can barely stand any of our clearos anymore.

I know, I know. I need to make my purchases with the thought of my husband taking things. In fact, that's why I bought 3 carto tanks when I bought them. I expected one to go to him eventually. The thing is, when I make large purchases, he gets irritated. Especially when I buy him things he hasn't requested. His approach to this vaping venture has been to try what I buy for myself to see if he likes it first, then make me buy myself another because once he decides he likes it he can't part with it. I suppose he's trying to save money by doing this. Why buy two of something if he winds up not using it? He's picky. Previously, he'd ONLY use Mini Protank II's, despite the slew of clearo purchases I've made. He's tried all the clearos, but only liked the Mini Protanks and as he likes to switch around juices as well, each one I bought to replace the one he takes wound up his, so he now has them all, just like the VV v3's.

So, now I've got a slimmer 15 mm tank on the way for him and replacement glass for the one he broke on the way. The slimmer one I ordered over a week ago for myself, to use with the VV v3 I thought I was keeping. Obviously, it'll be his now, and with the beauty ring I imagine that the glass I just ordered today will be his too. Thing is, I ordered that slimmer tank over a week ago, and it just shipped NOW. Is IBTanked running behind on orders? Anyone have experience with them running so late? My first order shipped within days. I'm worried because the longer it takes, the more he takes and potentially breaks, and I'll be without stuff for myself!

Ugh! Yours and mine must be secretly related or dopplegangers. Well, except mine DID take my MVP. If he comes NEAR my cartotanks - its war LOL. I so feel your pain!! So many vape items have been hijacked!!

One bit that may be helpful, I received a really cool blown glass carto tank for christmas and the company has them on sale for 14.99 and they are *almost* as fabulous as my IBs- vapor-mania - may be a good place to get him a few? Especially if he breaks them that fast!! I just ordered a slew more from them just in case my OH gets any pesky ideas!

Good luck with him. I tried ordering some purple stuff to keep mine away from it - no luck yet. LOL.

 

[Tinkiegrrl]

Ugh! Yours and mine must be secretly related or dopplegangers. Well, except mine DID take my MVP. If he comes NEAR my cartotanks - its war LOL. I so feel your pain!! So many vape items have been hijacked!!

One bit that may be helpful, I received a really cool blown glass carto tank for christmas and the company has them on sale for 14.99 and they are *almost* as fabulous as my IBs- vapor-mania - may be a good place to get him a few? Especially if he breaks them that fast!! I just ordered a slew more from them just in case my OH gets any pesky ideas!

Good luck with him. I tried ordering some purple stuff to keep mine away from it - no luck yet. LOL.

I have been eyeing those at vaper mania and wondering if at $14 they'd be worthy of pulling the trigger on. Thank you for lettering me know they are! That's awesome! I was also eyeing the ones at High Desert vapes but those are so expensive, as well as Cirrus tanks and Phinianc. I have a growing list of pretty things I want when my tax return check comes in this year for sure!

And that's also where I plan on buying doubles on any mods or what not (DNA 20 anyone?). I want to hit up a bunch of vape gear places in Queens, Brooklyn, and Manhattan with Hubby too, on a rare day we both have off. Maybe I'll have one of my teenaged sisters come babysit the kids since we can't bring them with us doing that.

It isn't the money I'm spending that makes him nervous. I have spoken to him several times. It is buying blind, site unseen, not knowing how it is in action that he gets all... uppity over. And due to the nature of these products returns aren't easy if it works and you just don't like it. He's the guy who goes in to Best Buy to check out a TV he saw online, and then goes home and orders it from Amazon. The check it out in person step is key to him, and so that's what he's been doing with me. I get it mailed in, which he doesn't object to, and he borrows it for what he intends to be a day or so to review if any problems pops up. Gurgling, leaking, dry hits... All things he hates to trouble shoot. Once he borrows it though, due to schedules, it just winds up where I may as well order and wait for vape mail. This is the part that I think needs to, and should change I think... This is where the compromise can come in. And that's why I came to vent, because talking it out with people who aren't part of the situation and not emotionally invested in to can sometimes help lead a person to see where a compromise can be had at best, and at worst you just feel better having had a place to vent.

He needs to try these things. It's who he is. But he can leave things in the vape cabinet for me after a couple days and then text me to order him one. I think this is what I'm going to tell him to do. He'll get to run whatever through his tests to see what survives a restaurant kitchen and what survives being stowed in a cold car for a few days, and I get it back and he can wait on vape mail for his.

 

[bcalvanese]

Get a divorce.

Then you can get your stuff back... plus... half of his stuff...

 

[Patkid]

My hubby died 8 years ago.
He could have all my vape gear without asking and everything else if he would just come back!
Just sayin'
Hope you find peace in your home, it is worth working for.
Pat