The USPS is not at fault? Can you say that a little louder? I don't think Tibs heard you.
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Hey Tibs, the USPS was not at fault for this latest delivery issue!!
(Is that better?
)
So these two Irishmen walk past a bar......
Heck, it's theoretically possible.
Heck, it's theoretically possible.
So let me tell y'all (all 4 of you?) about my new innokin VTR.
Fabulous, just the best. Beats the snot out of the MVP 2 because the power button is so much better located, so much bigger and so much easier to press. Built like a tank, apparently, with weight appropriate to such construction. The iClear30S clearo is a marvelous two-headed beast that performs best (for me) at 9.5 or 10.0 watts. Never used anything before that could tolerate any more than 8.0 watts. All other PVs are now relegated to dust-collecting status.
I was so anxious to get one that I pre-ordered two, from two different sellers. The one that came second I have no reason at this point to even open, although it would be a tragedy if there was something wrong with it and I don't find out until this first one dies because that could well be years from now.
That's all I got, except for this itty bitty little groaner:
I went in search of the fabled cosmic enchantress of the mountaintop. After a grueling journey of many days, I found her.
The years had not been overly kind. Because she always walked barefoot, there were huge callouses on her feet. Her participation in many hunger strikes had caused her to become frail and weak, and the same erratic eating habits had given her chronic bad breath.
"You're a..." I started, then stopped, thinking my words might sound like something quite atrocious.
But she was on the ball and knew what I was thinking. She nodded and smiled. In unison, we said "super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis".
Fabulous, just the best. Beats the snot out of the MVP 2 because the power button is so much better located, so much bigger and so much easier to press. Built like a tank, apparently, with weight appropriate to such construction. The iClear30S clearo is a marvelous two-headed beast that performs best (for me) at 9.5 or 10.0 watts. Never used anything before that could tolerate any more than 8.0 watts. All other PVs are now relegated to dust-collecting status.
I was so anxious to get one that I pre-ordered two, from two different sellers. The one that came second I have no reason at this point to even open, although it would be a tragedy if there was something wrong with it and I don't find out until this first one dies because that could well be years from now.
That's all I got, except for this itty bitty little groaner:
I went in search of the fabled cosmic enchantress of the mountaintop. After a grueling journey of many days, I found her.
The years had not been overly kind. Because she always walked barefoot, there were huge callouses on her feet. Her participation in many hunger strikes had caused her to become frail and weak, and the same erratic eating habits had given her chronic bad breath.
"You're a..." I started, then stopped, thinking my words might sound like something quite atrocious.
But she was on the ball and knew what I was thinking. She nodded and smiled. In unison, we said "super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis".
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That was a long way to go for a punchline that would get you nothing but a blank stare--were most of us here not much, much older than the average vapers anymore (hence allusions to Mary Poppins aren't lost on us).
Didn't you find that the iClear 30S mutes flavor compared to the original? I did, and was pretty bummed.
Sent from my SPH-D710VMUB using Tapatalk
Shaggy dog stories are a long and glorious family tradition. You may feel appropriately honored that y'all have become family to me.
You want a joke that's only been appreciated by 2 or 3 of the over 500 people who have with it been beleaguered by me? If you're not good, I'm gonna tell it to you. It is a true epic novel beside which the "expialidocious" joke is but a flimsy one-liner. I also know a couple of longer, more involved ones. Just let me know when you want to hear "Better Mousetrap", "The Golfing Buddies" (the most seldom appreciated joke), or "Perfect Builder". I won't hold my breath.
Never tried the iClear 30, if that's what you mean. I find the 30S to be OK at my usual 7.5 watts and simply WOW! at 9 to 10 watts.
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Inhale, exhale. I'm ready for the seldom appreciated jokes, bbells.
All right, I'll get started typing right away and ought to have the first one ready to post in 2-3 days.
Actually, I found an old email where I'd written this one out several years ago, so I don't have to rewrite it. Without further ado, a joke which few think is funny but which is my absolute favorite joke of all time:
THE GOLFING BUDDIES
A priest, a minister and a rabbi are old friends and play a round of golf together every Thursday from April through October. This past September, the third Thursday of the month was a particularly memorable round for the 3 friends. The weather was amazing, and the condition of the public course they went to was remarkable. To top it off, each of the golfers was playing better than he had ever played before. Headed to the 18th tee, the three had identical scores of 8 over par, and if any of them could birdie the par-4 18th, it would mean breaking 80. This was something that none of them had ever done.
As they prepared to hit their final tee shots, each feared that he would ruin the great round with a muffed drive, but all of them hit their best drives of the day, straight and far. With a combination of nervousness and happy anticipation, each of them then put their second shots on the green, within hoping distance of a birdie.
They looked at each other with hopeful smiles as they grabbed the handles of their handcarts to head to the green. Just after they started walking, a strange procession crossed the fairway about 50 yards in front of them. First, a 3-legged dog, followed closely by a raccoon, followed by a Siamese cat, then a pink flamingo bringing up the rear. The animals were clearly traveling together, maintaining a fixed distance between each. Within seconds the animal quartet disappeared into the woods at the edge of the fairway.
All 3 golfers witnessed this strange event, but not a word was said as they approached the green, pulled their putters from their bags, and assessed their putts.
The rabbi was away, by a couple of feet, so he would putt first. He stood over his ball, about to putt, when suddenly he straightened up and said: "You know what the meaning of that procession was, right?"
"Yes", said the priest. "It means.." but the continuation of his sentence was cut off by the minister, who, in between fits of laughter, said:
"Stop, Father! I can't take it! It's just too funny! Don't say it! I've heard this one before!"
THE GOLFING BUDDIES
A priest, a minister and a rabbi are old friends and play a round of golf together every Thursday from April through October. This past September, the third Thursday of the month was a particularly memorable round for the 3 friends. The weather was amazing, and the condition of the public course they went to was remarkable. To top it off, each of the golfers was playing better than he had ever played before. Headed to the 18th tee, the three had identical scores of 8 over par, and if any of them could birdie the par-4 18th, it would mean breaking 80. This was something that none of them had ever done.
As they prepared to hit their final tee shots, each feared that he would ruin the great round with a muffed drive, but all of them hit their best drives of the day, straight and far. With a combination of nervousness and happy anticipation, each of them then put their second shots on the green, within hoping distance of a birdie.
They looked at each other with hopeful smiles as they grabbed the handles of their handcarts to head to the green. Just after they started walking, a strange procession crossed the fairway about 50 yards in front of them. First, a 3-legged dog, followed closely by a raccoon, followed by a Siamese cat, then a pink flamingo bringing up the rear. The animals were clearly traveling together, maintaining a fixed distance between each. Within seconds the animal quartet disappeared into the woods at the edge of the fairway.
All 3 golfers witnessed this strange event, but not a word was said as they approached the green, pulled their putters from their bags, and assessed their putts.
The rabbi was away, by a couple of feet, so he would putt first. He stood over his ball, about to putt, when suddenly he straightened up and said: "You know what the meaning of that procession was, right?"
"Yes", said the priest. "It means.." but the continuation of his sentence was cut off by the minister, who, in between fits of laughter, said:
"Stop, Father! I can't take it! It's just too funny! Don't say it! I've heard this one before!"
Seriously? Mary Poppins and her supercalafragalisticexpealidocious' are only for old timers?
I suppose you're gunna say the same for Bedknobs and Broomsticks! That was one of my vary favorites.
Well, I guess B&B was made 13 years before I was even born, but somehow it gained its way into my regular childhood video-watching repertoire.
My grandparents had a BIG COLOR TV (must've been 20" or larger) AND a VCR, so we were spoiled as kids. OH, OH, Oh, and how could I forget to mention, THEY HAD CABLE! I mention this only because that's how I got the MP and B&B infused childhood.
Our family got our first color TV like in 1991 as an X-Mas present from them. A Zenith! The VHS player would come several years down the road. So, on our birthdays, we would rent a VHS player to watch our specially chosen birthday videos. Usually Puff the Magic Dragon and Ernest Scared Stupid. Yes, on many, many occasions. Also Witches. I guess we had strange tastes, my brother and I.
I suppose you're gunna say the same for Bedknobs and Broomsticks! That was one of my vary favorites.
Well, I guess B&B was made 13 years before I was even born, but somehow it gained its way into my regular childhood video-watching repertoire.
My grandparents had a BIG COLOR TV (must've been 20" or larger) AND a VCR, so we were spoiled as kids. OH, OH, Oh, and how could I forget to mention, THEY HAD CABLE! I mention this only because that's how I got the MP and B&B infused childhood.
Our family got our first color TV like in 1991 as an X-Mas present from them. A Zenith! The VHS player would come several years down the road. So, on our birthdays, we would rent a VHS player to watch our specially chosen birthday videos. Usually Puff the Magic Dragon and Ernest Scared Stupid. Yes, on many, many occasions. Also Witches. I guess we had strange tastes, my brother and I.
Bigbells, I'm sorry but I don't get it. I'm a dummy 
But I will have you know that I appreciate your joke 
We had both a two legged dog (yep, you read that correctly) and a three legged dog when I was a kid...well not both at the same time. The two legged one came first, followed later by the three legged dog. They were very funny dogs to have around, and sweetly tolerant of a certain hellacious little boy. (We did have real four legged dogs too...they weren't all defective )
I would have liked to see Mary Poppins and Bedknobs and Broomsticks in the theater, but I saw them on TV too. I'm not sure if they were tapes or broadcast, I just know I saw them at some point. One of my earliest film-at-the-theater memories is seeing Bambi. I didn't like the fire, and I was somehow prejudiced against the skunk. I'm sure it was supposed to be cute, but I wasn't buying it at the time. The best part was sitting in that big chair with the bag of popcorn....I still buy popcorn when I watch any film in the theater, it's a must-have, every time.
But I will have you know that I appreciate your joke We had both a two legged dog (yep, you read that correctly) and a three legged dog when I was a kid...well not both at the same time. The two legged one came first, followed later by the three legged dog. They were very funny dogs to have around, and sweetly tolerant of a certain hellacious little boy. (We did have real four legged dogs too...they weren't all defective )I would have liked to see Mary Poppins and Bedknobs and Broomsticks in the theater, but I saw them on TV too. I'm not sure if they were tapes or broadcast, I just know I saw them at some point. One of my earliest film-at-the-theater memories is seeing Bambi. I didn't like the fire, and I was somehow prejudiced against the skunk. I'm sure it was supposed to be cute, but I wasn't buying it at the time. The best part was sitting in that big chair with the bag of popcorn....I still buy popcorn when I watch any film in the theater, it's a must-have, every time.
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