A man walked into a bar with his dog. He had a seat, ordered a drink, and then asked the bartender for a pack of cigarettes.
The bartender said, "Sorry, fella, but we don't sell smokes here. But you can get a pack across the street at the drug store, if you like."
The man thought for a moment, took out a twenty dollar bill, handed it to his dog, and said, "Ok, Sparky. Go across the street and fetch me some smokes. That's a good doggy."
The dog took the money in his mouth with what seemed to be a nod, then he turned and headed out the door.
The bartender stood looking in amazement. "How on earth did you ever manage to teach him that?" he asked.
The man started to answer, when from outside there came the sounds of screeching tires and an obvious series of collisions.
Together, the man and the bartender ran for the door and out onto the sidewalk, where they were confronted by the sight of the man's dog mounted on and humping a beautiful white poodle in the middle of the street. Cars were crashed, people were screaming, and the lady who obviously owned the poodle was nearly hysterical.
The man ran over to the humping dogs, quite perplexed, and he asked, "Sparky, what the hell? I sent you to get cigarettes? You've never done this before?"
Still humping away, the dog said, "That's because you never gave me a twenty before!"