Lounge Lizards / Misfits / Free Thinkers / Bohemians & the Forgotten :: Young at Heart Only

[Diver9543]

Another of my Vandas opened yesterday!
View attachment 825725

You have a wonderful ability for raising your orchards.

I have tried to decide whether I would write about this, or not .. Fate has played a very cruel Joke on me and it's turned my Brain topsy turvy .. so, here goes :: Although I'd planned a lengthy Post on the details of things, in a nutshell ::

The Ancestry dna turned up my Aunt, who is in her 90's .. as well as her Son and his two Brothers, thusly, my Cousins .. that led to the Revelation that the man I knew as my Father for my entire life, was in fact, not my Biological Father .. when Ancestry mapped out the Regions of my dna, no info was shown based on where the man I knew as my Father and his people came from .. that was a tip off, but I just thought it was a fluke with Ancestry ..

That led to the revelation that my Biological Father was still living, in his Late 90's, deaf and under home nursing care, yet, from all accounts, still mentally lucid .. with his Family having declared him mentally incompetent and taken over all his business .. try as I might get thru, that Family blocked me effectively during the 3-4 months that all this has been going on .. I was never able to reach him, try as I might .. I even used an Attorney and no solid paper trail could be reconstructed due to the length of time that had passed ..

My Biological Father was married twice, yet, I was, essentially, a ....... at birth .. his current Family was afraid I would attempt to stake some sort of claim on his Legacy, which turned out to be quite substantia..

Then, my Biological Father passed on Sunday, June 30t..

I'm quite emotional as I write this, because it makes me so, so sad .. I blame my Mother and the man I thought was my Father for never, ever, sitting me down and telling me the story, and giving me the opportunity to know the Man that is now gone .. I'll never have a chance to know him now .. people say, "Oh, Willie, your Mother and the man that raised you just thought they were doing the right thing" .. Well, no, how is it the Right Thing to deny someone the History of their true beginnings .. ??

I simply cannot come to grips with why, oh why, would Fate lead me in this direction and then, suddenly, jerk it all away .. I was getting close, so clos..

All I wanted, when it was all said and done, was to have a minute face to face .. and, from what I've been able to piece together, we were quite alike.

I've faced many sad and unhappy events in my life, and this one ranks up there .. I now have another Story I'll take to the Grave that tells the tale of Loss, Heartache, What Could Have Been .. there have just been too man..

Wow, the discovery of your extended family is amazing. I agree with others that you should visit your aunt. Good luck on your new journey.

 

[yiddleboge6]

Have any of you have seen this film?



Without going into the dark part of this story....there is more to us than just DNA...

 

[Uncle]

I have tried to decide whether I would write about this, or not .. Fate has played a very cruel Joke on me and it's turned my Brain topsy turvy .. so, here goes :: Although I'd planned a lengthy Post on the details of things, in a nutshell ::

The Ancestry DNA turned up my Aunt, who is in her 90's .. as well as her Son and his two Brothers, thusly, my Cousins .. that led to the Revelation that the man I knew as my Father for my entire life, was in fact, not my Biological Father .. when Ancestry mapped out the Regions of my DNA, no info was shown based on where the man I knew as my Father and his people came from .. that was a tip off, but I just thought it was a fluke with Ancestry ..

That led to the revelation that my Biological Father was still living, in his Late 90's, deaf and under home nursing care, yet, from all accounts, still mentally lucid .. with his Family having declared him mentally incompetent and taken over all his business .. try as I might to get thru, that Family blocked me effectively during the 3-4 months that all this has been going on .. I was never able to reach him, try as I might .. I even used an Attorney and no solid paper trail could be reconstructed due to the length of time that had passed ..

My Biological Father was married twice, yet, I was, essentially, a ....... at birth .. his current Family was afraid I would attempt to stake some sort of claim on his Legacy, which turned out to be quite substantial ..

Then, my Biological Father passed on Sunday, June 30th ..

I'm quite emotional as I write this, because it makes me so, so sad .. I blame my Mother and the man I thought was my Father for never, ever, sitting me down and telling me the story, and giving me the opportunity to know the Man that is now gone .. I'll never have a chance to know him now .. people say, "Oh, Willie, your Mother and the man that raised you just thought they were doing the right thing" .. Well, no, how is it the Right Thing to deny someone the History of their true beginnings .. ??

I simply cannot come to grips with why, oh why, would Fate lead me in this direction and then, suddenly, jerk it all away .. I was getting close, so close ..

All I wanted, when it was all said and done, was to have a minute face to face .. and, from what I've been able to piece together, we were quite alike ..

I've faced many sad and unhappy events in my life, and this one ranks up there .. I now have another Story I'll take to the Grave that tells the tale of Loss, Heartache, What Could Have Been .. there have just been too many ..

Okay - A little hesitant to interject on this subject, however before you make any decission to visit or not visit your previously unknown "Aunt" (& Cousins) . . . BEEN THERE - DONE THAT . . . So - If I may be so bold to suggest that you really think about - WHY ? ? ? AND - What are "Your" expectations? Is It to actually meet this woman in person and honestly learn more about her/her life and the rest of your family you haven't known or meet before ? Or just to ask more questions about your biological father (which of course you can do over the phone)? What answers are "You" looking for ? Will you be satisfied no matter what she says or doesn't say ? Or that there is/are other unknown - SURPRISES ? AND - Do "You" believe your past or current life or will change with what "You" learn, especially that you haven't learned or know already ? Will "You" be Happier or even more Disappointed once you find out more ? You are the only one that can answer these questions and the only one that can make the final decission to go visit or not - Think About It . . . Just Sayin' . . .


.

 

[Anise]

I agree with Uncle. I was adopted. My parents are the ones that raised me. The ones who were there when I was hurt, who taught me how to cook and encouraged me in my endeavors.
I talked to both birth parents about ten years ago(separately) I found out the circumstances of my birth and adoption and a little medical history. Then it soon became obvious my birth mother wanted her daughter. Except I wasn't her daughter. Hadn't been since she handed me over.
After Katrina I lost both their numbers. It was for the best because both were looking for more than I could give them.
My birth father has since died. I'm sad he died but not because we never met or talked more. I'm sad because he was a human being who's left this earth, nothing more.
Before you meet your aunt know what you want out of the meeting and how you'll handle it if she wants more.
Just remember-family is love, not genes.

 

[Flowersoul]

Willie, no words of wisdom from me, but know that I am sending you good wishes for whatever decision you make.

Another of my Vandas opened yesterday!
View attachment 825725

you certainly have a knack for growing those beauties!

 

[clnire]

Willie, I, too, have no words. Just sending cyber hugs and love. You are truly loved by many and you need to know that and hold it in your heart. Whatever else happened or will happen, you are loved, appreciated, and cherished, for who you are and what you are. I have no fancy graphic or emoji, just {{{{{HUGS}}}}}.

 

[Bea-FL]

Willie, whatever you decide

Can't wait to see Hux's reaction to the garden. Last time he was in it the plants were pretty small. Today he'll be able to harvest string beans, Kohlrabi and parsley.

Janet I bet he will be sooo surprised! I wish I could see his reaction. Take pictures for us please.

 

[FranC]

Good morning to the young at heart

 

[Janet H]

Good morning Fran. It's a beautiful morning here. Going to be a hot, but nice day today.

@Bea-FL You definitely have the touch when it comes to orchids! Beautiful!

 

[FranC]

Good morning, Janet Another beautiful day here. Sunny and 83.

 

[Bea-FL]

Good morning everyone

 

[Flowersoul]

Good morning Loungers

​

 

[FranC]

Good morning, Bea and Gracie

 

[yiddleboge6]

'Morning Fran...Janet...Bea...Gracie...everyone...

Shopping day for me and we're going to try new places... Happy that her car has AC as we're going a farther distance this time.

 

[Janet H]

I have tried to decide whether I would write about this, or not .. Fate has played a very cruel Joke on me and it's turned my Brain topsy turvy .. so, here goes :: Although I'd planned a lengthy Post on the details of things, in a nutshell ::

The Ancestry DNA turned up my Aunt, who is in her 90's .. as well as her Son and his two Brothers, thusly, my Cousins .. that led to the Revelation that the man I knew as my Father for my entire life, was in fact, not my Biological Father .. when Ancestry mapped out the Regions of my DNA, no info was shown based on where the man I knew as my Father and his people came from .. that was a tip off, but I just thought it was a fluke with Ancestry ..

That led to the revelation that my Biological Father was still living, in his Late 90's, deaf and under home nursing care, yet, from all accounts, still mentally lucid .. with his Family having declared him mentally incompetent and taken over all his business .. try as I might to get thru, that Family blocked me effectively during the 3-4 months that all this has been going on .. I was never able to reach him, try as I might .. I even used an Attorney and no solid paper trail could be reconstructed due to the length of time that had passed ..

My Biological Father was married twice, yet, I was, essentially, a ....... at birth .. his current Family was afraid I would attempt to stake some sort of claim on his Legacy, which turned out to be quite substantial ..

Then, my Biological Father passed on Sunday, June 30th ..

I'm quite emotional as I write this, because it makes me so, so sad .. I blame my Mother and the man I thought was my Father for never, ever, sitting me down and telling me the story, and giving me the opportunity to know the Man that is now gone .. I'll never have a chance to know him now .. people say, "Oh, Willie, your Mother and the man that raised you just thought they were doing the right thing" .. Well, no, how is it the Right Thing to deny someone the History of their true beginnings .. ??

I simply cannot come to grips with why, oh why, would Fate lead me in this direction and then, suddenly, jerk it all away .. I was getting close, so close ..

All I wanted, when it was all said and done, was to have a minute face to face .. and, from what I've been able to piece together, we were quite alike ..

I've faced many sad and unhappy events in my life, and this one ranks up there .. I now have another Story I'll take to the Grave that tells the tale of Loss, Heartache, What Could Have Been .. there have just been too many ..

{{{{Willie}}}} Wow. Finding that out at this stage of your life is a real kick in the gut! I was not adopted so I can only try to imagine how I'd feel in your shoes. Keep in mind though, what social norms were strongly accepted at the time. It's never made any sense to me to hide the fact of adoption, but life was certainly different back then.

I agree with others that you should go to Myrtle Beach and visit with your long lost aunt. Who knows what light she might be able to shed on the situation. Things are not always what they seem. And you do need to understand what it is you're looking for. She's not going to be around forever so this sounds like an opportunity, but it's your choice whether to take it or not.

I'm sending big hugs to you no matter how this turns out. I just hope you can find some peace.

 

[FranC]

Good morning,yiddle

 

[DavidOck]

Morning all. A bit of rain overnight, and overdue. Not the deluge we were promised, but we'll take it.

 

[Anise]

Good morning everyone! I hope everyone has a good day today!

 

[Uncle Willie]

Hola ..

"People tell me it's a sin
To know and feel too much within .. "

Thanks to all of you for your Support and Commentary ..

A Door can be Opened, and a Door can be Closed .. I've spent literally hours on the phone with my Aunt Anita, she's sent me old Photos, she has 8mm film that I'm getting and having converted to disk .. I've taken copious notes ..

Uncle Dan & Anise .. I particularly liked your thoughts .. thank you ..

I have no idea where all this will go at this point .. I don't know what I want out of it, if anything .. when I figure that out, I'll know what to do .. it's the coming to grips with things that's the tough part ..

 

[Diver9543]

Good afternoon everyone. I hope all is going well.