MadVapes Weekly Contest - January 12 through January 16
- Thread starter Crowedude654
- Start date
- th_trl_thread_readers 0
- Status
Just Fred
A cop stopped a Harley biker for traveling faster than the posted speed limit, so he asked the biker his name.
"Fred," he replied.
"Fred what?" the officer asked.
"Just Fred," the man responded.
The officer was in a good mood and figured he might just give the biker a break, and write him out a warning instead of a ticket. The officer then pressed him for the last name.
The biker said "I used to have a last name, but I lost it."
The officer thought that he had a nut case on his hands, but he played along with it. "Tell me, Fred, how did you lose your last name?"
Fred replied, "It's a long story, so try to keep up. I was born Fred Johnson. I studied hard and got good grades."
"When I got older, I realized that I wanted to be a doctor. I went through college, medical school, internship, residency, and finally got my degree, so I was Fred Johnson, MD.
"After a while, I got bored being a doctor, so I decided to go back to school. Dentistry was my dream! Got all the way through school again and got my degree, so I was Fred Johnson, MD, DDS."
"Got bored doing dentistry, so I started fooling around with my assistant. She gave me VD, so I was Fred Johnson, MD, DDS, with VD."
"Well, the ADA found out about the VD, so they took away my DDS. Then I was Fred Johnson, MD, with VD."
"Then the AMA found out about the ADA taking away my DDS because of the VD, so they took away my MD, leaving me as Fred Johnson with VD."
"Then the VD took away my Johnson, so now I am Just Fred."
The officer walked away in tears, laughing.
A cop stopped a Harley biker for traveling faster than the posted speed limit, so he asked the biker his name.
"Fred," he replied.
"Fred what?" the officer asked.
"Just Fred," the man responded.
The officer was in a good mood and figured he might just give the biker a break, and write him out a warning instead of a ticket. The officer then pressed him for the last name.
The biker said "I used to have a last name, but I lost it."
The officer thought that he had a nut case on his hands, but he played along with it. "Tell me, Fred, how did you lose your last name?"
Fred replied, "It's a long story, so try to keep up. I was born Fred Johnson. I studied hard and got good grades."
"When I got older, I realized that I wanted to be a doctor. I went through college, medical school, internship, residency, and finally got my degree, so I was Fred Johnson, MD.
"After a while, I got bored being a doctor, so I decided to go back to school. Dentistry was my dream! Got all the way through school again and got my degree, so I was Fred Johnson, MD, DDS."
"Got bored doing dentistry, so I started fooling around with my assistant. She gave me VD, so I was Fred Johnson, MD, DDS, with VD."
"Well, the ADA found out about the VD, so they took away my DDS. Then I was Fred Johnson, MD, with VD."
"Then the AMA found out about the ADA taking away my DDS because of the VD, so they took away my MD, leaving me as Fred Johnson with VD."
"Then the VD took away my Johnson, so now I am Just Fred."
The officer walked away in tears, laughing.
Last edited:
The 50ish guy was having a midlife crisis so he buys a new sports car.
Travel down the interstae...
70
80
90
Suddenly he see flashing blue lights in the rearview mirror.
100
110
120.
Reality sets in and the man pulls over.
The officers strolls up to the car ticket book in hand.
Surprized to see a 50ish man behind the wheel he offers they man a break.
"Sir, I've heard every story there is. If you can tell one I haven't heard you can be on your way."
The man thinks for a bit them smiles .
"Well officer it's like this. Last week my wife ran off with a police officer and I thought you were him trying to bring her back"
The officer shakes his head and turns back to his cruisser.
Travel down the interstae...
70
80
90
Suddenly he see flashing blue lights in the rearview mirror.
100
110
120.
Reality sets in and the man pulls over.
The officers strolls up to the car ticket book in hand.
Surprized to see a 50ish man behind the wheel he offers they man a break.
"Sir, I've heard every story there is. If you can tell one I haven't heard you can be on your way."
The man thinks for a bit them smiles .
"Well officer it's like this. Last week my wife ran off with a police officer and I thought you were him trying to bring her back"
The officer shakes his head and turns back to his cruisser.
Little Johnny was sitting on the curb with a bottle of turpentine, shaking it up and watching all the bubbles. A while later, a Priest came along and asked the him what he had.
Little Johnny replied, "This is the most powerful liquid in the world. It's called turpentine."
The Priest said, "No, the most powerful liquid in the world is Holy Water. If you take some of this Holy Water and sprinkle it on a pregnant woman's belly, she'll pass a healthy baby."
Little Johnny replied, "Hell, that's nuthin. You take some of this turpentine and sprinkle it on a cat's ...., he'll pass a Harley Davidson!
Little Johnny replied, "This is the most powerful liquid in the world. It's called turpentine."
The Priest said, "No, the most powerful liquid in the world is Holy Water. If you take some of this Holy Water and sprinkle it on a pregnant woman's belly, she'll pass a healthy baby."
Little Johnny replied, "Hell, that's nuthin. You take some of this turpentine and sprinkle it on a cat's ...., he'll pass a Harley Davidson!
The other day I figured I'd try to get my redneck neighbor to laugh by telling him a Jeff Foxworthy joke thinking it would be right up his alley.
I asked him "Do you know why its so hard to solve a redneck murder?"
He said "Howsit?"
I said "Because all the dna is the same and there's no dental records."
At this point he gave a smile and I could see all 3 of his teeth and that quick a look of confusion feel across his face and he said "I dont getit."
I asked him "Do you know why its so hard to solve a redneck murder?"
He said "Howsit?"
I said "Because all the dna is the same and there's no dental records."
At this point he gave a smile and I could see all 3 of his teeth and that quick a look of confusion feel across his face and he said "I dont getit."
Last edited:
How many libertarians does it take to change a light bulb?
.
.
.
.
None! The free market will do it!
.
.
.
.
None! The free market will do it!
Hey Mike (Crowedude),
Do you think I can fit two of these coils in that EHPro 26650 Tobh RDA?
Do you think I can fit two of these coils in that EHPro 26650 Tobh RDA?
- Status
Similar threads
