In the past but not now. I didn't mean to make him sound bad here.
No, none of those things but he says it's awful. He'll turn away from me and cover his nose and mouth. He does have a lot of sinus problems too so maybe that makes it worse for him.
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In the past but not now. I didn't mean to make him sound bad here.
No, none of those things but he says it's awful. He'll turn away from me and cover his nose and mouth. He does have a lot of sinus problems too so maybe that makes it worse for him.
Um, you are kind of making both of you look bad. Right now, he looks like an insensitive jerk who won't even communicate what the issue is, and is acting passive aggressive and controlling. You look like someone used to caving in to his "distress" and have trouble asserting yourself. Anyone who would choose self-harm (smoking) over a RELATIONSHIP?
Well, I tend to be assertive, which is fortunate as the husband can get bossy. We've been married for decades and both agree that we would trample someone who does not have internal "strength" to pieces... LOL, we chose to make two people happy, instead of four people miserable.
Look you have to sit down and have a talk with him. You need to express that you do not get on HIS case for smoking, and he needs to knock it off with you. You need to agree on places that it's okay for you to vape, and feel comfortable doing so (even if it IS the toilet, outside, etc.). BUT, if you make concessions for HIM he should do that too... Smoke outside or in the toilet. Most bossy possessive persons are secretly timid and afraid that their partner will leave. If unflavored and zoning don't do the trick, skip a weekend. Then ask him if he would rather have the vaping YOU, or the absent YOU come visit, because his manner of handling this isn't acceptable.
Nor is yours. You'd be shocked what a weekend without him might do to his "grousing" and if he won't sit down and problem solve with you on request, what does that say about his potential for being A LONG TERM MATE?
Do you really want this kind of attitude 24/7 365??? I made it very clear to the husband that he would NOT be bossing me, and vice versa. We do pretty well, WITH the understanding that we need to DISCUSS problems in order to solve them.
I would be very sad to see someone return to smoking for a RELATIONSHIP. For all you know, he may dump you in a few months, just because. Be STRONGER.
Just my thoughts, as always, and I wish you FORTITUDE, as well as luck.
Anna
Well, I tend to be assertive, which is fortunate as the husband can get bossy. We've been married for decades and both agree that we would trample someone who does not have internal "strength" to pieces... LOL, we chose to make two people happy, instead of four people miserable.
Look you have to sit down and have a talk with him. You need to express that you do not get on HIS case for smoking, and he needs to knock it off with you. You need to agree on places that it's okay for you to vape, and feel comfortable doing so (even if it IS the toilet, outside, etc.). BUT, if you make concessions for HIM he should do that too... Smoke outside or in the toilet. Most bossy possessive persons are secretly timid and afraid that their partner will leave. If unflavored and zoning don't do the trick, skip a weekend. Then ask him if he would rather have the vaping YOU, or the absent YOU come visit, because his manner of handling this isn't acceptable.
Nor is yours. You'd be shocked what a weekend without him might do to his "grousing" and if he won't sit down and problem solve with you on request, what does that say about his potential for being A LONG TERM MATE?
Do you really want this kind of attitude 24/7 365??? I made it very clear to the husband that he would NOT be bossing me, and vice versa. We do pretty well, WITH the understanding that we need to DISCUSS problems in order to solve them.
I would be very sad to see someone return to smoking for a RELATIONSHIP. For all you know, he may dump you in a few months, just because. Be STRONGER.
Just my thoughts, as always, and I wish you FORTITUDE, as well as luck.
Anna
Hello and welcome to ecf
Read what I quoted - this is what YOU said... you have described a control freak. ALL the warning signs are in what you said.
Now tell me, what man is worth dying for? And I'm not talking pushing him out of the way of a bullet kind of dying for... I'm talking the slow, miserable death of cancer or COPD just so he doesn't have to smell what? APPLE PIE? I'll guarantee you that someone who can handle cigarette smoke can handle the light scent of food flavors.
If my current husband thought it was better for me to have COPD than vape, you better believe I would not be with him today.
See... I've had my fair share of controlling men... my back was broken (quite literally) at the age of 30 by one..
I had to decide what was important in life, my life and my kids' life? Or that man...
Often we have no self esteem - because they have broken us down to the point we cannot see that we have any worth.. that worth is something YOU have to find inside of YOU.. you have to decide your worth something, no one can do that for you, no one can give it to you but you... but once you have it - no one can take it from you either.
You may say, oh.. he'd never hurt me physically - yet here you are willing to die of cancer and COPD to make him happy.
It escalates... it always escalates.
Figure it out before you end up like me. And I'm dead serious.
I'm happy now, I'm with a man who loves me and respects me.. but to find that happiness in life and to get that respect I first had to love and respect myself.
There are plenty of fish in the sea, and plenty of men that actually WOULD care whether or not you got sick, and would want the best for you and support you in your efforts to better your life.
To find them, you first have to decide you have actual worth.
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I don't know, vape in your underwear and see if he complains?
Why, does underwear absorb the vapor?
Get yourself a vaper lol but i know the feeling my fiancee was that way at first. she tried vaping always gives up n goes bavck to cigs n is now wanting to try again. she likes the tfv8 which is weird but if i blow a cloud her way she always fanning it away. so i try n vape away from her or towards the ground. she kinda grew used to it but still doesn' like sitting in a cloud with me hahahaha me i can hot box the room n she comes in n im just like what she's like how can you even see. i laugh she rolls her eyes n gets over it thats love lol i put up with the ....ty smell of cigs she can deal with the clouds. Plus never have I heard people ..... about the smell even non smokers love the smell of my flavors i vape lol
...Yeah, it's hard to find the right tone or situation to make it less serious.
Maybe, I don't know, vape in your underwear and see if he complains?
yes he is still trying to control you. I agree with what
anna and opinionated said if he is willing to let you get sick just because he doesn't like what your doing to be healthier is he going to be there when you do get sick
anna and opinionated said if he is willing to let you get sick just because he doesn't like what your doing to be healthier is he going to be there when you do get sick
You should check out www.reddit.com/r/relationships
I've wasted hours there.
As for this thread... All I can say is that I smoked 1.5 to 2 packs a day. Immediately upon switching my girlfriend noticed the difference in my breathing and coughing at night.
Sometimes I chain vape so much I set off the fire alarm. When she comes in, or a delivery guy shows up, they notice the vapor pouring out through the door and outside.
Is it her favourite thing in the World? No. But she encourages me to vape and vape to my heart's content, because the alternative is cigarettes.
IMO if this guy is prioritizing a psychosomatic annoyance over your well being, vaping the the least of the issues you need to handle.
I haven't done the research, but I seem to recall something like 7.2 BILLION people on Earth. The best estimate is that men to women ratio is roughly 50/50. That means there are 3.6 BILLION other guys to choose from (excluding those already in monogamous relationships or practicing alternative lifestyles)!
Your guy is just being a controlling brat. Dump him. Chances are you can walk into a vape shop and score a date/replacement boyfriend.
Congratulations on your positive life choice! If your boyfriend cannot support your decision, then he needs to move on and not undermine your efforts.
Oh, and everything Anna @stols001 said, too!
Your guy is just being a controlling brat. Dump him. Chances are you can walk into a vape shop and score a date/replacement boyfriend.
Congratulations on your positive life choice! If your boyfriend cannot support your decision, then he needs to move on and not undermine your efforts.
Oh, and everything Anna @stols001 said, too!
I don't think it's the flavouring. I've spent an absolute fortune trying loads of different ones. Even things he enjoys, like coffee flavour or tobacco flavour, he finds the vapour irritating. I can't say for sure because I haven't tried every single one on the market but I'm running out of ideas. He still smokes but I know tobacco smoke has chemicals that make it less irritating to breathe in. Vapour doesn't. Maybe this is why.
It's really offputting to see him covering his face and waving his arms about when I vape
I can imagine that is quite irritating to see him waving his arms about. Is your beau a controlling type of person? Does it really bother him or is he just not happy that you no longer smoke with him? Some people see smoking as kind of a social thing so he might be insecure that you no longer share that together. I am pretty tough and do not put up with a lot of BS. When I smoked regular cigs there were men that I dated that "told me" that I had to stop because they did not like it and I thought that was hysterical and either dumped them then and there or is just fizzled out because it was, in my opinion, an indicator or what was to come. You seem to have really gone out of your way ---spending so much money to no avail. So you may hate my suggestions but here it goes ..If you have determined that the vapor is truly irritating to him here are a few suggestions...
1.) Tell him that you choose to vape and he chooses to smoke so you have to deal with his smoke and he has to deal with your vape and you will do your best not to blow it at him and expect the same from him.
2.) Make a deal that when you see each other that he does not smoke and you do not vape.
3.) Wave your arms and go crazy when he smokes. Tell him that since you started vaping you absolutely cannot stand the smell of smoke and it makes you totally nauseous and see if he makes any accommodation for you. (maybe try that first...lol)
4.) If you think he is being insecure and you do want to be extra nice maybe take him to a local vape shop, include him in the whole process and let him pick a flavor.
Please do not smoke when you are with him just to appease him. You made a decision for yourself to vape so stick with it and do not let anyone derail you.
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Just dont vape around him. At home? Walk outside. Out and about? Peel off to a distance to vape.
My Wife works for ACS and let me tell you she hates me vaping. But she loves me and accepts my decision to vape. She doesn't complain. I respect her enough that I don't vape around her. Sure she sees me vape all the time but I don't do it in the house out of respect. Your boyfriend sounds like the kind of guy i would not want to be around.
My Wife works for ACS and let me tell you she hates me vaping. But she loves me and accepts my decision to vape. She doesn't complain. I respect her enough that I don't vape around her. Sure she sees me vape all the time but I don't do it in the house out of respect. Your boyfriend sounds like the kind of guy i would not want to be around.
Could have him take a quick look at this chart:
http://www.vapewild.com/the-wild-blogger/vapewild-test-results/
I've skipped some of the posts, read others.. but it does sound like your mate is a bit of a control freak. I can only applaud my wife for her reaction. I switched to vaping, and when I started to get into the higher wattage devices in the vaping ladder, the smell became more pronounced. My wife did make that one look when I vaped my favorite ejuice which was a caramel flavor. She said she hated it, it stinks, etc... so I tried another flavor. My second favorite one is a Guava flavor.. so I asked her about that one..she said that one smelled nice... so, I vape guava when I'm around her, and I have a separate tank for my caramel for when I'm at work.
She's a "take charge" person, but she definately likes the smell of vaping compared to smoking. So, for her, it's a big change, and I get to vape inside instead of smoke outside. It's something we both talked about, and came up with a solution... she'd rather I not do anything, but compromised on me vaping guava.
She's a "take charge" person, but she definately likes the smell of vaping compared to smoking. So, for her, it's a big change, and I get to vape inside instead of smoke outside. It's something we both talked about, and came up with a solution... she'd rather I not do anything, but compromised on me vaping guava.
You go with him to choose a flavor HE likes? Then, HE pays. No crap, I'm so sure he would make me go nuts if I ever met him
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