My bf finds my vaping irritating, but is fine with smoking

[WhiteHighlights]

@Ripply I hope you realize the intent of many posts here is to encourage you to think of yourself and do what is best for you and to support you and your decision to switch to a healthier alternative than smoking. No one should take that choice away from you. You are important. Don't let anyone make you feel otherwise.

A relationship needs balanced give and take - not all of the compromise should come from you. I admit I'm skeptical of his sensitivity to a little vapor while he smokes. That's what gives the impression that he's being controlling. Many of us have been in a relationship like that and it's not good or healthy in the long term. We don't want to see you in a similar position.

Hopefully the two of you can talk and come to a reasonable agreement that works for both of you. All the best to you and vape on!

 

[jfcooley]

Typed long post.
Believe most of it has been covered.
Deleted post.

So...dump him. All that really needs to be said.

 

[chellie]

Forum - I think we should re-read Ripply's original post. In essence she wants to know how to please her boyfriend. Based on some of the replies here many thought that she should be concerned about herself. Although I stand by my response earlier in this thread I also think that most of us missed the mark here. If you reread the original post and some of Ripply's responses she is not concerned about herself. She wants help in pleasing her weekend boyfriend.

"Could anyone help me work out what to try next? I'm at a loss. I only see him at weekends so I could vape all week and smoke when I'm with him but lately, I've found that I crave vaping more than cigarettes. But I don't want to make my boyfriend uncomfortable either so I'd love to find a solution to this."

So although our advice is "well-intention-ed" that is not what she is looking for. She wants to please her boyfriend. My revised advice to her for a "solution" is just do whatever he tells you to do. Ask him.

Good luck! Over and out

 

[jfcooley]

Forum - I think we should re-read Ripply's original post. In essence she wants to know how to please her boyfriend. Based on some of the replies here many thought that she should be concerned about herself. Although I stand by my response earlier in this thread I also think that most of us missed the mark here. If you reread the original post and some of Ripply's responses she is not concerned about herself. She wants help in pleasing her weekend boyfriend.

"Could anyone help me work out what to try next? I'm at a loss. I only see him at weekends so I could vape all week and smoke when I'm with him but lately, I've found that I crave vaping more than cigarettes. But I don't want to make my boyfriend uncomfortable either so I'd love to find a solution to this."

So although our advice is "well-intention-ed" that is not what she is looking for. She wants to please her boyfriend. My revised advice to her for a "solution" is just do whatever he tells you to do. Ask him.

Good luck! Over and out

Not gonna give the X bit "pleasing" him in this situation is a lippery slope that sounds like he'd be willing to push on.

While I wouldn't disagree relationships are give and take, there are limits and signs that giving will lead to more giving.

When 1 person in a relationship is selfish, and I would argue this boyfriend is, the relationship will break or be unhealthy. Best to go while it's a weekend thing before it develops beyond that and other simple things become major issues.

Give in now, always give in.

Just my 2¢

 

[Nikhforos]

Forum - I think we should re-read Ripply's original post. In essence she wants to know how to please her boyfriend. Based on some of the replies here many thought that she should be concerned about herself. Although I stand by my response earlier in this thread I also think that most of us missed the mark here. If you reread the original post and some of Ripply's responses she is not concerned about herself. She wants help in pleasing her weekend boyfriend.

"Could anyone help me work out what to try next? I'm at a loss. I only see him at weekends so I could vape all week and smoke when I'm with him but lately, I've found that I crave vaping more than cigarettes. But I don't want to make my boyfriend uncomfortable either so I'd love to find a solution to this."

So although our advice is "well-intention-ed" that is not what she is looking for. She wants to please her boyfriend. My revised advice to her for a "solution" is just do whatever he tells you to do. Ask him.

Good luck! Over and out

What are you talking about? Do whatever he tells her to do? Who cares if she wants to please her boyfriend? As a responsible adult myself who respects her, as I respect the whole forum, I owe to give my advice on how to protect herself and on what is right. Pleasing him all he wants is NOT right, and neither will it ever be no matter what her personal intentions are.

 

[Letitia]

My only question would be "has he asked her if his smoking bothers her?". If the answer is no they need to talk.

 

[chellie]

What are you talking about? Do whatever he tells her to do? Who cares if she wants to please her boyfriend? As a responsible adult myself who respects her, as I respect the whole forum, I owe to give my advice on how to protect herself and on what is right. Pleasing him all he wants is NOT right, and neither will it ever be no matter what her personal intentions are.

Nah - we could go on and on for hours here. It is not our place to try to change someone unless they are in mortal danger. We are not the relationship police! If she is writing that he is beating her, enslaving her or something along those lines then I would be one of the first to try to track her IP and get authorities involved.

She wants to please him. There are some people like that. Just because many of us do not agree who is to say that they do not have a stellar weekend relationship. Read some of her responses -- all with a but ---he has sinus trouble
"I didn't mean to make him sound bad here."
"He does have a lot of sinus problems too so maybe..."
"He knows I would never bother him about smoking or start suggesting he should quit. It's hard to find out what he really feels about vaping because he doesn't seem to like discussing it and gets a bit grumpy. He just says it's irritating"
" It's different with me since I'm with him more often."

I am entitled to my opinion - she wants to please him and is taking pains to defend him. Our solutions - which are good ones in my opinion, are not what she is looking for or asking.

I have learned long ago not to push my "opinion" on others. For the record, I would rather live in a cardboard box then take any abuse, I'd rather be alone than to have a beau that devalues me and I do not take any sh%%. Never have, Never will. But I am me. I am not everyone and everyone is different and I have learned to live and let live --- unless there is a immediate danger. Not a perceived maybe down the road one.

I think as people we have to know when advice is wanted and when it is not.

I cannot tell her how to please him and since that is her main objective the best advice is to ask him.

 

[Edward Denison]

I stopped being a pleaser long ago, so a weekend hook up is out of luck with me. In short, no advice frpm me.

 

[fifamymaingame]

Time for a new bf

 

[OlderNDirt]

It seems OP's options are quite limited for "not making her boyfriend uncomfortable", both of which have already been addressed and sounds like she already knows what they are.

1. Stop vaping around him, even if it means going back to smoking on weekends.
2. Find a juice that he is not "uncomfortable" being around, an unlikely solution.

Given those choices, it is not surprising she is "at a loss."

Since her concern is to "find a solution to this" and she doesn't see the likelihood of either of those options being a solution, it only seems reasonable to offer what may be the only other "solution to this", even if it "makes him uncomfortable."

 

[NealBJr]

Forum - I think we should re-read Ripply's original post. In essence she wants to know how to please her boyfriend. Based on some of the replies here many thought that she should be concerned about herself. Although I stand by my response earlier in this thread I also think that most of us missed the mark here. If you reread the original post and some of Ripply's responses she is not concerned about herself. She wants help in pleasing her weekend boyfriend.

"Could anyone help me work out what to try next? I'm at a loss. I only see him at weekends so I could vape all week and smoke when I'm with him but lately, I've found that I crave vaping more than cigarettes. But I don't want to make my boyfriend uncomfortable either so I'd love to find a solution to this."

So although our advice is "well-intention-ed" that is not what she is looking for. She wants to please her boyfriend. My revised advice to her for a "solution" is just do whatever he tells you to do. Ask him.

Good luck! Over and out

I also think you should look at some of her early responses. She has spent loads on different flavors, and even tried flavors of things he's likes, and he still says he doesn't like the smell of it. I can fully understand not liking one, two, five, or maybe even 10 different flavors, but with all the flavors in juices, there's going to be some flavor he likes... or at least will tolerate. Also, keep in mind this is coming from a smoker, who has a reduced sense of smell.

I fully agree with what the OP said... his dislike of the smell is a psychosomatic response caused by his distrust in electronic cigarettes. He smokes, which is KNOWN to cause cancer and other ill effects, yet he feels comfortable smoking and would rather her smoke than vape. She is willing to go back to smoking to please him if he doesn't like the smell of any vapes.

I still stand by my, and other's, opinion, that she needs to feel stronger in herself rather than relying ONLY on the desires of another. I think if two people cannot come to an agreement on something that has as many variables as the smell of an Ecig, then there is more to look at than just the smell. To put it in a nutshell, he wants her to stop, and is using the smell as a means to an end. He wants her to go back to smoking because he smokes. I say congrats for stopping smoking... Don't go back to smoking.. it will kill you slowly. I would give the ultimatum "I'll stop vaping if you stop smoking" I see a healthier future for the both of them if nobody does either, than both go back to smoking.

 

[r055co]

Yes, he's used to cigarettes and it doesn't bother him. He said at least we have decades of research around tobacco and know everything about it.

I've already explained that PG is used in all sorts of things and VG is just glycerin. He still seems uncomfortable with it. I know this seems a bit illogical but that's just the way he feels.

Well let him know that he'd better stay out of the kitchen for everything in vape juice is food.

Sent from my HTC 10 using Tapatalk

 

[Tonee N]

Have your BF read this.
What CDC Found When They Tested Vape Shop Air - Vaping360

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G891A using Tapatalk

 

[QcVaper]

Reading Op's first post made me think about a coworker lolz he thinks my vape stinks while i use fruity flavors, but is fine with his smoking and that dosen't bother him at all. We had a bit of a fight since i find cigarette smoke obnoxious XD but we laughed at the end of the day so it's all good but i still find he stinks alot lolz not just because he smokes like a chimney but because he smells like one

 

[Bunnykiller]

since you see him on weekends primarily... plan alot of outdoor activities

 

[untar]

It's like people with 3 cats who don't smell the hint of litter box all over their house...
You get used to the smells that surround you, doesn't mean others won't smell them though.
So better put on a fresh pair of panties from time to time

 

[Aybars Ortan]

Smokers are especially have a dislike to vapers. They cannot stand people vaping around them. They should be encouraged instead of hating it.